Waves on the waterfront.
Sun eloping with the sad waters, the lulling ones,
Leaving forlorn the lavender froth
     Of this mischievous sky.

The wind fled and felt heavy
And heavily so for what it cannot touch.
A cicada sings to the ghost of his lover.
A tree misses, always missing,
     Its first leaf.

And I miss her...

The frost of our memories
Thaws away to my soul
As the slow burn of remembering.
And this time, for the very first time,
My heart felt
     Like an inhabited isle.*

© 2015 J.S.P.

Remember this: you only die once,
                                      
                                   but you live everyday.

I followed my heart,

And to my surprise...

I found my self trailing off...
Right behind*  **YOU.

Wonder if when constellations do align
And universe would finally see.
Would it be presumptious of me
To claim that then, finally you'd be mine.

Wonder if my sense would triumph over
So that my heart would be muted.
With all its contents looted...
Would I only seem sillier?

Wonder if I walked away
In due course.
You'd then take my hand in yours
So that a minute longer I'd stay...

Wonder if you'd understand
When if these feet
Should choose to retreat...
That they had to... It wasn't planned.

Wonder if it'd make a difference
If I said that I had to...
Not for me but more for you.
Would we still be able to love in silence?

Wonder if you'd wish that you made it all clear.
Before the gravity of reality would crush us,
Before the vastness of uncertainty swallows us,
Before my presence would diminish and inevitably disappear.

Wonder if you find my pessimism exhausting.
The volatile nature of my moods...
Especially when I dive deep in solitude
And resurface with a trove of words that are no less than exasperating.

Wonder if you loved me enough
In a day...
To stop me from walking away...
Or loved me too much to plainly say

That...

Future's days would see us apart...
Future's moon would glow but not for us...
Future's stars would sing but not of us...
Future's sun would dry out the passion in our hearts.

What if I had been brutally honest and said exactly what I felt
That night I had you all to myself
What if we could be together and never be apart
Only me and you right from the start
if I knew then what I know now
I wouldn’t be living with this lonely heart

Anytime my coffee gets cold
I can't help but think of you
It scalds my mouth as I drink it too fast
But the pain doesn't compare
To that I feel missing you

His hands are ice,
Sharp like broken glass,
But he says, "Come here,
The cold won't last."

So you hand him your heart,
With a smile on your face,
His hands are ice cold,
But your heart is in flames.

He says, "Trust me,
You'll melt me to a puddle,
Fire and ice,
We'll make such a nice couple."

So you give him your all,
With a smile on your face,
And you fall and you fall,
Toward your icy embrace.

He squeezes his hands,
With your heart inside,
He didn't melt, put your flames out,
But you smile and say everything's fine.

Then you say, "That's okay,
My flame comes from within.
I'll take my frozen broken pieces,
Reconstruct and shine again."

Someday, I will smile a genuine a smile,
A smile that will be pure, true and heartfelt.
I will wear it and travel miles and miles,
Wear off those in the past I felt.

Someday, I will be truly honest,
I will tell you how I really am.
That if back then you saw me at my ‘best,’
You’ll know I’m not really ******.

Someday, I will stop my hypocrisy,
And save myself from being a casualty.
Someday, I will be happy.
Someday, I will truly be happy