I stare out into a Bob Ross painted sky, drifting in and out of a black and white dream
Watching colors fade away and appear as I open my eyes, the scenes played out in front of me challenge my beliefs
I get lost in the shadows of an evil that seems to dwell, it's trapped too deep inside me to hope for anything
Like a movie playing, I can't seem to tell, which character is the most related to me
I'm an on and off switch trapped in a tornado warning of emotions I can't begin to understand
Stuck between two paralleling lines I can no longer command
I couldn't tell you how fast I'm going or if I'm even really here
And as the paint drys on my life, an unfinished product is my only fear

You promised me false hope
Then smashed out my teeth
Now I find it too hard to cope
Dragged along the razors edge

Once I was the perfect gentleman
I would open the door for you
Until you hatched a delicate plan
Now I slam it shut in your face

Listen to me shouting, "*******"
Middle fingers saying, "*******"
All this anger raging, "*******"
But I still badly need to *******

Kicking me so ****** far down
That it's too much to get back up
Left me in miseries lake to drown
Here alone with a bottle as my friend

Who ever said love was all a game
Well, that ******* got it all wrong
Because I only have myself to blame
Wallowing here in my own self pity

Listen to me shouting, "*******"
Middle fingers saying, "*******"
All this anger raging, "*******"
But I still badly need to *******

He used to touch her soul
Now he sits there all alone
Too proud to find a way
To say how he really feels

In his younger days he smiled
But the years wiped it from him
Changed the light into the dark
Now he is waiting for nothing

He pushed her away from his side
She would have given him the world
If only he had opened up a little bit
He let the past destroy their future

That was so many years long gone
He is an old man now, twisted and bitter
Empty inside, his emotions have long flown
Staring at the wall as if it's a picture show

He has thrown it all away, there is nothing left
Sitting in his chair, finding another grey hair
Never wonders about what she is doing now
He finally closes his eyes and the lights go out

She used to hear her heart call
But she allowed herself to fall
She will never return back to then
Never allow herself to love her men

She is a love deserter, love deserter
She won't allow anyone to hurt her

She only sees her emotions fade
Not getting close is the price she paid
Never listens to those romantic words said
Takes only her desire then leaves the bed

She is a love deserter, love deserter
She won't allow anyone to hurt her

She is the one in control of her lust
Leaving you crawling in the dust
She has lost her passion to love
Crushes your heart with an iron glove

She is a love deserter, love deserter
She won't allow anyone to hurt her

To feel for someone, it's been too long
All that she had, it's now all gone
Secretly there will be only one man she needs
But he rejected her, it's why her heart bleeds

She is a love deserter, love deserter
She won't allow anyone to hurt her

She used to hear her heart call
But she allowed herself to fall
She is a love deserter, love deserter
She won't allow anyone to hurt her

The greatest thief of all time
Was the first boy I loved
He stole and he stole and he stole
From every girl who crossed his path

Including me

And now I'm left
With hardly anything
Just the shattered memories of him
Because he threw them across the room

And my broken heart
That he took in his horrific hands
And squeezed until it broke
Claiming it as his own

Tonight, I spoke into the darkness,
No stars to light my way,
       The black void all encompassing

   My words drifting up in ribbons,
          I waited for something, anything to happen

              I felt a rumble that was akin to ripples emanating from a drop of water hitting a puddle

        I was small next to the impossible,
And when it spoke back, it changed me
      
        The blank canvas of stark black was pierced by blades of light,
    The sky becoming a shutter in a rain storm
           Blowing open and closed
       The words came and wrapped themselves across my body in its entirety
        Constricting my air flow

             I felt myself shatter
  An implosion of feeble glass
       Ricocheting through a skeleton of paper, reflecting the brightness above inside ripped skin

                I was nothing.
                I didn't exist.
                I floated in an incomprehensible place that had no end, no walls

     No ceiling or floor

            Just illumination in every direction

                    I opened my eyes
  
    And was blinded by an incredible radiance

      I shut my eyes tight and swatted in front of me
        My hand struck something metal and I yelped in pain
          
          I shot up and stared downward
    Towards the desklamp unplugged on the floor
        
          Breathing heavily, I sat upright in my bed,
                 *Struggling to pull away words that had already sunken in

You are my favorite thing to see when I first wake up.
Your voice is my favorite to hear whisper "goodnight."
The perfect beginning
The perfect ending.
You are perfect.

Your golden frame which I once held so dear
Trickled between my fingers like the unlucky prospectors
Me, cursing the wind, never saw it coming
For days I could barely breath,
Ive been trying to bring myself to the arms of another
But every time I get close enough I’m reminded of you
A scent carried, or a crack in their smiles,
What a fever this is, this thing called love
Hopefully the right prescription will do the trick,
Enough liquor to drown an ocean,
and rewatching Barbarella for the 10th time
is just what the doctor ordered.

I'm starting to question every thought I ever had
every reason for feeling sad
every dream dissolved
every story I ever told
as reality does not live in the mind
but with everything that passes our eyes
so stay focused
don't pay attention to the lies
for in my head I've lived a thousand lives
but in reality I've never touched the sky
not walked on the moon
never had a bride
never been the groom.

We had fun you and I
at least within my mind
been dreaming since I was a kid
of things that I never quite did
never once kissed your lips
nor smelt your sweet perfume
though those memories still exist
the truth is you left to soon
you only live in my imagination
a perfect mix of my creation
loving, kind and gentle
whispers sentimental.

So the question I ask;
do I keep you close in dreams?
- where our love will forever last
**or face the whaling screams
of a broken heart.

Young, yes.
But sadness doesn't care.
Sudden, yes.
But death has no heart.

The pain of loss.
Emotions cost.
A hole that can't be filled,
With no amount of iron will.

The burn of grief.
Death's doesn't wait for sleep.
A sudden parting of ways,
In such a short number of days.

Beloved, yes.
But sadness doesn't care.
Remembered, yes.
They live on in our hearts.