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 Jun 2019
Emmanuella
"I don't want to give you all of me,"
She mused.
"and end up with none of me."
"The fear of giving away what is, oneself and thus, what is, everything."

This started out as a lyric that was sung. But now, it's a short poem in monologue.
 Jun 2019
FreeMind
At 5 years old
She liked a boy
That told her she was "pretty".
They sat hand in hand
And played pretend
That they were "Oh so ready!"
She told her friends
So they all giggled without an end.

At 10 years old
She liked a boy
That told her she was "gross".
"Too much hair! Look at that fat!
I'd rather like a monkey instead!"
Tears rolled down,
Self esteem has broke.
She told no one,
Because she already knew
What she was...

At 15 years old
She liked a boy
That told her she was "beautiful".
So strong and tall,
She gave no thought
But loved him always more.
"He is no good for you"
"Find someone better"
She let these words fly past.
They stood hand in hand
Against the world
They always stood together.

But something changed...

No longer interested in her
"I can not wait no more!"
He robbed her of her flower once,
And then once more.
Regret and tears,
Nothing more.
She held it all inside too long.
She asked for help.
In need of aid.
But got nothing more
Than blue, purple, and red
All over her.

At 17 years old
She liked no one.
She went nowhere.
She did nothing.
She wanted forgiveness.
She wanted life to simply end.
No words to speak.
Only thoughts filled her now.
The "Why?" and "What?" and "How?"
They almost killed her.
She cried all night.
She sat all day
With nothing else getting in her way.
All alone,
No longer her,
Thinking of the best way,
To finally give in
And say,

Goodbye...



-FreeMind
#19
 Jun 2019
Pagan Paul
.
A rose from a window
looks like any other rose,
but as the old lady stares
out through the thin glass
a fondness develops,
begins to form a memory,


reaching back,
grasping the past,

that very slowly forms
the image of a rose,
proud in an old garden,
upstanding to catch the eye
of a young girl
staring out of a window.



© Pagan Paul (19/06/19)
.
 Jun 2019
Silverflame
Every night I lay down to rest
The same old visions keep on creeping around my head
They scrape my mind and burn my core
I don't think I can take no more
Will I get through the night?

On the edge to insanity
I don't know what's real or fantasy
The demons sip on my coffee cup
Their screams get loud they never stop
My ears are a red masterpiece

The chaos beings to rise
I'm falling down the rabbit hole to my demise
Sticks and stones may break my bones
But loving you will make me whole
The chaos drowns me tonight

A seesaw is all that's left
Bouncing anxiety inside my chest
Strangers steal my loneliness
Patching up my self-made mess
Frozen in the concrete jungle

Jon said we're halfway there
But it seems to me I'm stuck in second gear
I lay my back flat on the ground
Here I'll die with no one around
Out of reach and with nothing to fear

A light in the dark calls my name
Safe and sound it guides me home with its flame
With a broken wing left to die
I could still learn to fly
Once lost but now I'm found
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