I cannot fix
What is broken
Inside you.
All I can, is to be a
Band-Aid; a soothing
Breath upon the bruised
Knees of your heart's
History.

The healing itself
Is up to
You.

Her hair has been shorn
Her face cut and bruised
Her flowing gown torn
The beauty once in her eyes
Faded
Drone strikes
Warrant less searches
Roadblocks and pat downs
Eaves dropping
Secret eyes and ears
Always listening
Always watching
Be careful what you do
Or they may come after you
Swat teams and armored cars
Men clad in black
Weapons at the ready
Waiting to attack
They have her now
Imprisoned
Cold shackles hold her hands
Her breath is low and shallow
Seems that death
Is now at hand

Lets **** again
this fair land, ***** so many times before.
She cannot cry out in pain
as we steal her innocence.
Take it...take what she has to offer,
care not for the ravaged earth you leave behind
while you earn another dollar.
Yeah, she can recover
but not in your lifetime or mine.
But why should I be bothered?
After all she was put here to provide

I once read
That in 7.6 billion years
The sun
Having reached its maximum size
Will shine 3,000 times brighter
Than it does now
I have always wondered
How it is possible
To know such a thing
When 100 years
Is beyond a lifetime
How we could possibly
Look so far into the future
When now seems like an eternity
And tomorrow is miles away
How can we embrace the moment
When we are constantly being told to plan ahead
And what's the point
Of waiting 7.6 billion years
When the sun is already
Shining
And the moon
Already loves her?

He seems to take my hurt
my tears
my mistakes.
Use them with his tongue
say failure without a slight change
in his voice
his posture.
I feel smaller than krill
in his vast ocean,
in the dark he keeps me
from reaching the light
from being me.
I've lost the smile in  my eyes
months of crying have darken them.
Secretly i wish he would go away
but how would i exist if he was gone.
I hate him but i am desperately
horribly, sickening in love
with him.
I doubt he knows this
for i keep everything in.
A big ship of secrets that he knows
while inside a trap door are more.
He promised to leave me if i said more
than the ones he knows.
So I'm keeping them hidden
until he goes away
But how can i exist
if he was to go away.

try to explain
getting nowhere
all this journey
just to get to nowhere

i see you hiding
not even sad anymore
silly emotion scabbed over
healing is a process for...

...something barely understood
that time is not your enemy
she is your friend
keeps you safe when you're scared


she smiles in her own slight way
as she casts down her smile
she will make those who have sought
to destroy you find her true ways

And if the piano breaks it's because each time you kiss me it feels like I've taken a bullet to the brain.
Today, I looked into your eyes and saw nothing but forever.
I think that maybe, if you took my hand, we could fight infinity.

I've never believed in God, but ****, I think you're my religious awakening; THIS is a baptismal revival.
I think I was dead until the day we met- you give me life.
Whispers: "safe, safe, safe."
She strikes a key to play me out of tune.

What does she look like in the dark?
What do you wear when you're alone? (I wear the black pendulum)
Seastar, starfish, lover, oh how I'm suffocating on my anguish.
Convince me to forgive him, and then I will try and forgive myself for all that he has broken.
For the ***** nights, the rancid sheets, ten years of filth- it would take an eternity to scrub out my stains- ugly.
Whispers: "****, ****, ****."
Screams: "daddy please, daddy no, daddy no, stop it!"
It's hushed up by the sounds of the broken piano- the unforgiving black sacrament.

Steel and skin, forgiveness and pain.
You can only hide for so long; sleepmonger, deathmonger, counting sheep. When will these childhood nightmares end?! Oh.

So, 1, 2, 3, 4, who's that looming at my door?
5, 6, 7, 8, he calls it love, she calls it ****.
9, 10, 11, 12, he put her though ten years of hell.
13, 14, 15, 16, who could love her scars- so distinct?
17, 18, 19, 20, fall for me; so sick of running.

(a.m.) 05/05/14

She stopped breaking laws when she
started breaking hearts

Bottled tears in the vial around her neck
She lays in bed like a spider in their web

They say curiosity killed the cat but in this story
Curiosity killed you

And you love kissing her because she is not like the others
She does not pull away out of shame

She kisses hard like brick on brick on window pane
no face aflame

And you love ******* her because she does not hide away
Begs you more more more

She stopped breaking laws when she
Started breaking hearts

Summer raining on the Eastern seaboard
I liked you better before November, personally

There are metal shards floating in this bathwater
Their own tiny islands of pain
A mirror in shards face up on the floor
Guess that is just another 7 years of bad luck

Pennies are dropping into the bathtub
Copper going plink plink plink
Tiny rivulets running their paths

That's just the sound of my lifeline going down the drain, again
Smells like metal and tastes like pain
Red river gushing from my veins

Locked door trying to staunch the flow of secrets
Head swimming to the tile floor
clink clink clink

Scars these days open so easily
Like the Raven said, Nevermore

Tomorrow, two days after my
Father's birthday,
It is the funeral of
My girlfriend's
Old man.

To feel the kiss of celebration on
One cheek, and the jab of the
Opposite on the other
In a one-two-combination
Leaves even hardened boxers
Rocked.

The world is a spinning
Record.
We all dance
Until we drop.
Until the music stops.

My mind heart and soul are all a prison to me now,
because they all belong to you,
but you won't take them.
And now I'm trapped
by my feelings.

words are better on paper and candlelight
the smell of ink and crisp turns of pages white
the binding creaks and soul writ in
this screen is not the same thing friend
it's maddening for this phone to change my words
ah, how often it does so
as if it knows
as if it grows
what could it show
when has itself,
alone so rowed
of feelings felt
or horrors shown
or magick felt
or fury spoke
or walked along a razors edge
hanging on by just a thread
or strained beyond all known thought
or had a thought that wasn't taught
or quenched a lust
so fervent wrought
or plagued its mind
with glory sought
or told a tale
that others'd not
what a soul
that this thing's got