Why won't my eyes close
Why can't I sleep
Why am I ****** to counting countless sheep
At this funny farm I'm awake *** there's no rest for the wicked
While I lay on this bed so cold and so rigid
I can't even blink
All I do is stare
At the blank walls so empty and bare
I pace all night long without a rational thought
Tying my mind into a perfect slip knot
I hear my neighbors screaming
"Oh please let me die!"
I want to help them but instead I just sigh
All night long there was nothing but noise
Screaming and banging from all the lost boys
Even the voices don't make this much racket
I can hear them through the vents so I covered it with my jacket
It had muffled the noise to a small degree
But silence invites demons
Now they're coming for me
I thought I had left you all back home
I thought in this box I'd be all alone
"Oh quite opposite I do declare. The nurses gave us this room to share."
As the night passes on and I'm crying on the floor, I realize that there's no time to sleep anymore
A nurse walks in "time to get your vitals"
Oh the joy of being suicidal
"You don't have to look" as she sticks the needle in me
"Actually I prefer to watch myself bleed." As I looked contently
The blood filled the tube faster than a rocket and when she was done she put the vile in her pocket. She walked away to the next patient's room "vitals please." Then I finally collapsed on my bed. I was finally at peace.

Death a cruel mistress
Really such a tease
My life is such a mess
I'm shaking at the knees
Will you let me rest?
Let me rest in piece?
We've met once before after my distress
And my soul you did not release
Did you consider it an act of jest
When I got my heart to cease
Its beating in my chest
Is that why you did not feast?
I don't understand but I digress
Out of all the lost souls, you desired mine the least
To Death I'm a reject. A reject at best.
Even in death I can't seem to please

Today is the day,
where if I'd known nothing
of death and hell,
this day would be my last.

Today would be a good day,
to send away goodbyes in the mail,
and dig DEEP to find my soul,
and let it go.

Today would be good,
but tomorrow brings a better day,
full of hope.
Opportunities.

Today could be the end,
the end of it all.
Tomorrow could be the start
of a new way of life.

Today could,
but tomorrow can.

My mind is shattered
My life is battered
My friends are scattered
This isnt to be desired

I couldnt come to look at you
I couldnt bear the icy blue
I know you doubt what i say is true
But I really do need you

My closest friend
to the end
A friendship too strong to bend
But now I just want to mend

I shut down
Taking all I have to not frown
I must seem like such a clown
All I want to do is drown

My life should be over
Call for the Undertaker
I never have been such a crier
Is there nothing that can make this better?

Little Red
Red Head
I want you to know what I have said
I need you to get off the death bed

My silent screams
The return of dreams
It almost feels like we are on separate teams
I shouldn't have believed the way things seem

I just need you to forgive
I need you to help me live
I never should have been so assumptive
Me out of your life is easily conclusive

I shut down
I change myself
I **** my soul
Never cared for, I never knew

I didnt ever want you hurt
I had no clue that I mattered
I didnt want to lose you
So I threw you away

I shut you out
I shut down
I shut...
I...
...

Her sky blue
His dull hazel
My demon green
Every pair a mere reflection
Or window to the pain

Her eyes show her death wish
Avoiding my gaze with quick swish
of her hair.  Those blue eyes
They tell us no lies

His eyes show the hidden dejection
They show a fear of rejection
Those hazels dulled now
Always forcing mine to bow

My eyes the demonic curse
I couldnt think of anything worse
They twist the world
To an image i could behold

We three friends
Three pairs of eyes
Three types of pain
Three prisoners who want to be free

Only the night
Lets me to go fight
Lets her go to the knife
and will let him have a life

These dying eyes
We each despise
They give us away
They always betray

The false glee
Revealing the desire to be free

Let the pain rain down on me
Let it hurt like falling from the tree
that we would talk from while we hunted
You were my idol but now im scared
You were my father but now your gone
Your a faded image
A miserable mirage

You arent the man i was born too
All you ever do
is make me want to hurt
You call me failure
You call me mistake
You call me all the things i already know

I tried to be positive
I tried to set an example
I tried, I tried, I tried,
But I always come up short
I always made an error

I was once bound to thinking you perfect
But now I am Free

An apple a day keeps the doctors away
Alone in the dark keeps the monsters at bay
I can't hear what the voices say
Through the music that plays
I'm feeling sane on this lonesome day

Night grows near and I am content
I went a whole day without my mind getting bent
I wonder where all my demons went
As I feel sane on this lonesome day

Will they ever return?
Will my soul ever again burn?
The pain I grew to learn?
That pain I've grown to yearn?
I wonder as I feel sane on this lonesome day

I crave their pain
But nothing's wrong with my brain
Bang my head till I go insane
Just to hear their voices again
I've lost my mind  on this lonesome day
And I wouldn't have it any other way...

I sit in my little box
So dark and empty
twiddling my life away
sharpened my blade plenty
On my death bed I lay
My heart beats gently
As my mind slowly decays
Alone I am contently
Happy to say
You resented me
So be without me for the rest of your days

Now I'm laying in my little box
So dark and empty
While people cry and people talk
But don't shed a tear
No, cry three cheers
Because for once I am happy
In my little black box
Built just for me

Here's a lovely story for the boys back home
About a crying little boy in a room all alone
He's sitting and he's screaming just to breath
While the love of us life decided to pack her bags and leave
So now here he stands banging his poor little head
Because his loving parents didn't want him dead
So they hid all the pills and they locked him away
Where he'd never see his friends or the light of day
While now his love and his muse is off with another man
He sits and conjures up a nice little plan
He sits and he lies with a smile on his face
So he may soon reclaim his love and his rightful place
"The voices are gone!" He began to explain
"I feel so much better now. I swear that I'm sane!"
So instead of a month he left within the week
Because of that silver tongue of his so sharp and so sleek
He packed his bags and was on his way
And he left VCU the very next Sunday
Well he got home and realized no one had called
"What of my love? had she missed me at all?"
"Sorry honey but you were truly a monster."
The first text he received; He knew he surely had lost her
"Baby please I assure you. I'm better now see. My scars, they are faded. They no longer bleed."
"I can't have you bring me down. I cannot support you."
"How could you abandon me? You know that I loved you!"
"I'm sorry but it's over. I love someone else. Someone who's confident. Someone who loves himself."
"I never mistreated you. I gave you my heart. Now swallow all the pieces and choke on these shards! I fought the war and you weren't by my side. Drank too much that one night and that night I died. Woke up the next day soulless and cold. Sick of the feeling of expressing as I'm told. I can't hold it in. This darkness I posses. This darkness that doesn't ever let me rest.
The things that I see.
The wounds that I bleed.
The voices I hear
Oh how they deceive
They pushed me everyday as you sat idly by
Now that I look at it maybe it is time to say goodbye.
You've done me a favor and for that I must thank you.
I'm finally free and now I must bid you adieu."
He may have turned off his phone but this was not the end of this tale
For sometimes evil truly does prevail
Very manipulative and cunning at best
This harlot was going to put his heart to the test
The man of her dreams didn't show interest
No he didn't give her jack
So in fear of being alone she took that poor sucker back
"Oh baby I don't care about your illness. I love you all the same. I could never love another man. I know you're not to blame. You gave me everything I wanted. From *** to back massages and even your lovely art collages. You brought me breakfast every morning and rubbed my aching feet. You'd write me lovely letters oh baby your love can't be beat. I need you oh so badly. Please don't let me be alone. I miss your soothing voice when we talked all night on the telephone."
"Oh honey how I missed you. I love you oh so much. From the way that you smile to the way that we touched. I need you back in my arms    please don't leave me again. I don't think I could handle seeing you with another boyfriend. I can only blame myself for how I mistreated me. I know it only hurt you but baby can't you see? I'm finally better and I'm as happy as can be! I don't have those voices telling me what to say or do. I really think that we can put the past aside and really start a new."
"I want that more than anything I really really do. If you ever decide to leave me in the end just know that I will always love you."
Well it wasn't too long that he saw the error in her ways and with some help from his friends he decided not to stay.
"Baby please we had a future together. We're practically the same person. Two birds of a feather."
"You sound like a broken tape recorder. You've put me in the hospital more times than the person responsible for my post traumatic stress disorder. I'm sorry but I can't stay. What kind of person claims to be my friend and throws me away. You abandoned me in my time of need. And now watch from a distance as these open wounds in my heart begin to bleed."
"I feel so awful. What have I done? Should I end it now with these pills or this gun?"
"Don't even think about it just live your life. Own up to your mistakes and throw away that knife. Be the better person and don't do it again. I won't be your lover but I'll try to be your friend."
"Oh thank you I lov- oh sorry I forgot.
Being without you is going to be harder than I thought..."
"I'm sorry but it's the way it's gotta be. You're gonna have to grow old with someone besides me."
So now as this story is coming to an end
It appears that out of fear he had to be her friend
He couldn't deal with her blood on his hands
So now till the bitter end this is where he stands

If only the story were over
Never a moments rest
That girl started having heart palpitations in her chest
Her anxiety got so high
All she wanted was to die
She said if she can't have me she'd surely ******* try
I told her that she needed to own up to her mistakes
To which she replied "how much Prozac should I take?"
Of course her parents overheard and they got her in the car
And before you knew it she was in the ER
I feel like a monster... I don't know what to do...
They ended up locking her up in good ol' VCU