You won't understand it
Until it happens to you.
The day when your stomach drops.
It's the day your eyes become a void.
You want to cry but you can't.
When everything becomes clear.
And it's okay
To hate the world.
To want to die.
To hate all the people you once loved.
It's okay.
You'll get through it.
I promise.
But I can also promise this.
You will never be the same again.

My life is in tatters,
in shambles
in shreds.

None of this matters,
these gambles,
this dread.

I can’t help but wonder,
and worry
and stress

My action are blunders,
a flurry,
a mess.

My world is spinning,
is twisting,
is falling.

The paranoia’s winning,
it’s persisting,
it’s calling.

My control is waning,
it’s dying,
it’s paling.

This smile I’m feigning,
I’m crying,
I’m failing.

My days are numbered,
are checked,
are few.

And I feel so encumbered,
I can’t connect
with you.

I wrote your name in the sand the water washed it away
I wrote you name in the sky the wind blew it away
I wrote your name in my heart it stayed there forever

I have always
Had a knack
For losing things
It's no wonder
You're gone.

You deserve my life
You deserve even more
You deserve my soul
You can own my own

Dealing with depression
Feels like you're trapped
You always feel like you're in the dark
Doing everything wrong

Dealing with depression
Is like being trapped in a glass box
The world moves on around you
You see other people fall in love and achieve their life goals
But you're trapped
Unable to get out

Dealing with depression
Makes everything happy
Seem scary
You're so use to feeling low
That feeling anything else feels unnatural
But somehow
No one can understand that part

Dealing with depression
Is like constantly having a thorn in your side
Reminding you that life is terrible
And the sun with never come out

o.g.

That's the powerful thing about writing, words are immortal.. This exact moment? These feelings? They'll be here forever.

Why do you write
With brokenness hidden beneath your words
Sadness shadows your sentences?

She whispered softly without hesitation
"Cause the one person I ever loved
Broke my precious, innocent heart
And now I can't seem to get back up."
Tear streamed down her eyes as she looked down

I looked at her: broken, feeling unworthy
But I gazed at her with feelings
It was during her worst that I fell in love for the first time.