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 Jan 2020
sage
Red and Blue sit down
on a pier at the end of time,
to watch the fires.

Together they wait,
as their lives drip back like water
through a leaky roof.

Red's shoulder is burnt,
a scar that never truly fades,
'Was that me?', Blue asks.

Their eyes do not meet.
And the silence that hangs still
is answer enough.

'Do you think,' Red starts,
'there has ever been a time,
that this was simple?'

Blue takes a minute
to roll the question around
before she begins.

'I think you and I;
we weren't meant to be simple.
That's the way things are.'

'After all,' she grinned,
unashamedly staring
at the other girl,

'What would be the point,
if everything were easy?'
and Red cannot say.

It doesn't matter.
Everything is ending now.
Soon it will be dark.

When Red looked at Blue,
she saw a thousand faces
the other had held;

but Blue stared ahead
into the glow of rapture
they lived outside of.

'What happens to us?'
Red did not understand her.
'Do you hate me now?'

'I didn't hate you.'
'You did, once. You must have done.'
'Does it matter now?'

Quietly, Red knows
that every single lifetime
she waited for Blue.

'If something comes next
I don't want to hold you back.
And no, it doesn't'

How could she think that?
Each incarnation was just
time to spend with her.

'You drove me insane
but you never held me back.
It's always been you'

'Even when it hurt?'
And Red feels her shoulder burn.
'Especially then.'

If anything comes
after the fire burns out
they'll be together.

So Red and Blue sit,
content with all their attempts
to find each other.
 Nov 2019
nsp
Fill in the blanks:

1. After months of sleeping next to you, today I woke up, rolled over to see your face, and was (      ).
a) in love
b) complete
c) nervous
d) alone
e) all of the above

2. I (      ) you because I (      ) you.
a) ****, love
b) love, ****

3. I (      ) you because I (      ) you.
a) lost, hurt
b) hurt, lost

4. Towards the end it was clear things weren't working out, but when I  (      ) you I still felt like (      ).
a) kissed, a school boy
b) resented, trying
c) came inside, a god
d) lost, ****
e) all of the above

5. It's devastating because I tried so hard (      ) I knew we were never going to work.
a) even though
b) until
c) after
d) because
e) to pretend

6. We had *** in (      ).
a) our apartments
b) our friends' apartments
c)  the Tonga Room
d) the workplace
e) misery

7. I was (      ), you were (      ), it was (      ).
a) in love, in love, amazing
b) trying, trying, trying
c) yours, yours, yours
d) trying, tired, over
e) real, real, real

8. You never let me (      ), you said it was private.
a) read your recipe book
b) see you ***
c) run with you
d) do yoga with you
e) get to know you

9. I wanted to (      ) you, you wanted to (      ) me.
a) love, love
b) ****, ****
c) possess, escape
d) marry, forget
e) all of the above

10.  When things were at their best we were always (      ).
a) laughing
b) together
c) *******
d) doomed
e) all of the above
 Sep 2019
sage
i wait for you on the altar
drenched in jasmine
stained fingertips coloured with incense

your ritual will
fill me clean me make me whole
in the flickering candlelight the moon is hung invisible
there are no stars to guide me

the angels of a religion yet to be written will say
do not be afraid
we love in a time now lost

somewhere, your altar lies broken in the seabed,
where the sands whisper our names
and when all is dead, the earth will keep her secrets hidden.

i have waited my entire life for you
and i would wait a thousand more
if our blood is born of stardust,
you and i must have shone as one before the fall

she stands like GOD at the first horizon
when beauty ran unpolluted,
stood screaming I AM UN-IN-KNOW-AB-LE


pull the veins from my body and there is her portrait
rip the beat from my heart and there is her name
steal the air from my lungs and there is her kiss

my throat is torn ragged with words i will never say aloud
we are the star drawn lovers only known by the sea
but i will find you again.

my love, i will wait on the bridge where all worlds collide,
one thousand lifetimes to go.
 Aug 2019
3
this feeling is not
symbiotic: you reduce
my core to nothing
at least i am something (ashes) and at least you are happy
i am molded symbiose!
m.b.d forever
 Aug 2019
jude rigor
it’s november when
the meds kick in, it’s
december when i feel
human again. (or maybe,
for the first time?)

i lack less.
found an appreciation
for something or another
dug up in the front yard
by a half-blind dog.
appreciation for
the living
and the
quiet
small
moments.

i used to know empathy,
used to take her hands
between mine in
cut scenes
but those were
   trembling eras
    of seconds,
    caught between
  an intensity i’ve since
        given     away.

an inferno.

of being
in love
with
wheat
grass bet-
ween
high
ways
and

last bit
of clouds
eating sun
like nectar
in the rearview:

or sweet talking
directly into his eyes
at midnight, hearing
a smile in the smoke
that separates our
houses.

cats with twigs
and dirt swimming
in their bellies.
ghosts in the
woods beyond
my car,
yowling at
the full moon
as if they
were born
to.

i now know
the silence and
warmth of
sleep.

i exist alongside
unfamiliar calm,
a quaint silence
that does not
burn at the
                 touch.





but

the world is
almost softer
            almost
                       lighter   --

my skin is
held to-
gether
with
some
thing
more
than
glue.

     (maybe
      stitches?)

i wonder
if i was
human
the whole
time.
re-wrote a poem i wrote half a year ago, i'm turning it in for a poetry class portfolio. honestly im gonna edit it again but this is the first edit for now. if i change anything major i'll probably put it here and edit it or maybe rework entirely.  who knows~~~
 Aug 2019
sage
Orpheus crawled from the ground upon his hands and knees,
His days he faced in bitterness without Eurydice,
He wiped the bloodstains from his face, coughed up gravedirt and leaves,
And tore the music from his throat, resigned to silent be.

Surrendered to the quiet, he deprived the world of song,
Without her harmony, he thought, the melody was wrong,
Perverted echoes tried to sing but they were never strong.
When silent in a violent world, where then could he belong?

Returned then to their wedding bed, alone he lay and wept.
Moonlit air betwixt his wretched, ragged sobbing crept.
His weary lungs began to slow, and at birdsong he slept,
Dreaming, saw a horde of women, manic and godswept.

Her melancholy wails resonated throughout Hell.
Sat upon his throne there reigned the King that knew them well.
Under the crooked back of grief the riot could be quelled,
For dangerous is Orpheus and his melodic spell.

The maenads came for him as prophesied within his dream,
Tore his body limb from limb, a cloak ripped at its seam,
A mad and Bacchic frenzy blinded the infernal team,
From witnessing his dying smile, as if at last, redeemed

Two lovers’ outstretched hands reach now across the murky water,
Drowning out the souls who shout in mourning for their slaughter.
The bridge of years they passed apart was, in an instant, broken,
They did not trust themselves to sing, so ‘I love you’ was spoken.
the first poem i actually wrote with a set metre, so i  already know it's not great lol
 Aug 2019
touka
and with each step she takes, she shrinks

frighten her
feel her
from the edge of the web

from the trees spitting sap
into the hardest to wash places
of your psalm scribing nails

fall into the murmur
if it is the heart
"I am, I am, I am," as Plath put it
beep, beep, beep, goes the machine
like "you are, you are, you are"


you are

 Jul 2019
will19008
True friends trust and love indeed
while lovers think too much and bleed
Their love ends in a graceless Hell
spoiled by thinking none too well
Fooling around with the idea that love ends when it begins to be governed by the head, rather than the heart, I wrote this corny little poem.  I'm not sure that I like it, but I guess I do.
 Jun 2019
Chris Saitta
You who have lifted up your sunburned face,
Long-told of peasant warmth and the forest tableaux.
Barefoot, you brought the book of hours upon dusty roads,
Ungoverned, little flower from Jeanne to Lourdes to Lisieux.
Our Lady, osculum pacis, the kiss of peace in wood and stone.

Burned out to those dusty eyes,
Now-empty look of rosework from the forest-fall of sunlight.
Medieval prayer, earthly-dim to its rafters of oak,
Come un-cinctured in ashen cloud of amice and alb,
And the murine blackness of plague-like smoke.

Birds that sit blinking at the winged fossil of intrados,
Pipe air through your own ribbed vaults, organum pulse.
Let the city rise in your vining voices—and hold the note.
The great ***** intones from the runs and pedal stops,
Along the turbid streets of the rue de la Cité to the empire of catacombs.

Beside his candle, the monk in sadness knows
All loveliness of heaven except his own.
Our Lady, every sunset is your faded candle hour of peace, for us to know.
Holy Father, so passes worldly glory,
Over the roofs of Paris like fire-scorned and leaden wings.
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