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 Apr 2014
Lover of the light
I find that I am often shoving smiles into heart shaped boxes
Void of velvet bliss
that I associate with love
Happiness shouldn't feel like
bated breath
Or warm feet
on a hard wood floor
Sadness shouldn't hang around
like an umbrella protecting you
from the rain
Jealousy shouldn't feel
like a forgotten song
or maybe one you never knew well
to begin with
Anger shouldn't be the only thing
I truly feel
caught in my throat
And filling my tears
Why is it that all I ever want to do is sleep
I think my heart broke a long time ago and I'm just now realizing it
Or maybe I never had one
And I am a broken record
 Apr 2014
Lover of the light
I could try to kiss the words from your lips
Coax them out with my tongue
Breath in the breath you’d use to voice them
Feel your mouth form the letters with my own
I could absorb these words without you saying them
But it’s nothing like having those words whispered in my ear
So that they travel through my head and down my spine
To settle somewhere deep in the pit of my stomach
So that it’s not a feeling
It’s a knowing
 Apr 2014
Lover of the light
I'll catch myself from falling
Any further for you
Or from you
On your pedestal in my eyes
I'll plug my ears
against your honey soaked words
For underneath that sweetness
Are soured promises
That taste of disappointment
And missed opportunities
And a little bit of want
thrown in for good taste
I can't focus with you staring at me
With your myriad mind
Your thoughts swirling
in the lakes of your eyes
Tears swirling in mine
And when they fall from my smile
into your hands of discontent
You will know how deep you stabbed
your hopeful knife into me
Just in time for my acidic blood
To burn resentment into your skin
And then I'll be gone
 Apr 2014
Marly
understanding the human mind just teaches us how to manipulate it better.
a reason why i don't like shrinks.
 Apr 2014
Naomi Erin
Realize,
The true lightning within your stormy eyes,
Awake.
 Apr 2014
Molly
When I was younger
my mom told me not to trust animals
And not to get too close
because no matter how nice they seemed
They might get scared
and bite me.

I don't know why she expects me
to trust people.
 Apr 2014
Molly
She loves every one of her victims.
From the bottom of her cold well of a heart,
she loves them.

She would never ****
an innocent creature;
they all deserve it.

She stalks her prey,
she gets in close,
they begin to whisper

their evil little secrets.
No one is blameless.
She knows this.

Dig deep enough,
find the truth.
It is soiled.

She slits their throats.
You are released
from your sins,


she ensures them.
Through hot blood,
they promise they love her, too.
 Apr 2014
Ian Cairns
I have these scars on my elbows
They're from a long time ago
And I never really appreciated their protrusion until now
Pretending to prefer unblemished skin
But when I was 10 and still believed in Superman
I had a tendency to ride my bike with stuntman speed
Forgetting about the frivolous concerns that consumed me
Hoping my kryptonite never crept up from underneath sidewalk bumps
Flipping my ambition over handlebars
Leaving the pieces of my reflections painted crimson along the asphalt
Scattered like hand-picked petals of an ill-advised ascetic
I am me, I am not, I am me, I am not
So I always wore my helmet as a precautionary measure
It contained my thoughts from running straight through my skull
And becoming neighbors with the pavement
But I never wore my elbow pads
They collected dust beside the waste bin
Replacing security for sincerity
I improved my flexibility while losing some skin
And that was a trade off I was willing to make at the time
I finally felt alive
I was invincible on my bicycle
The sidewalk my only bully
The summer breeze my only friend
And at the time I never realized what it meant to be vulnerable
But those bike rides were the closest I would get
I was fixated on fitting in around my classmates
Accumulating fake friends by
Ripping insincerities out of my esophagus
And stapling them to my forehead
I stole my own identity
Morphing my puzzle piece and jamming it into the jigsaw
Claiming to be the missing link everyone was searching for
But what am I searching for?

I was lost on my own yellow brick road
I had two left feet and no right way to go
I stopped dead in my tracks
Hoping the soles of my feet would soak in the golden stones while
Singing Dorothy's hymn like spoken sin
I just want to fit in
I just want to fit in
I just want to fit in

Wondering if that was loud enough for Oz to hear me
I didn't have any magic slippers
And this situation was twisting towards witchcraft
I'm not even sure Oz can help me
You see these requests were a tall order for a tiny man
Who wore masks just like me
Oz and I were anonymous
Oz and I were synonymous
Using smoke and mirror tactics to terrorize the innocent
When in reality we were only playing tricks on ourselves
Hiding behind perfectly sculpted ****** expressions
And make-believe manuscripts
Doing basic impressions of manufactured mannequins
Out in the real world
I really needed to speak with the Scarecrow
The Tinman, the Lion, and Dorothy too
And investigate their stresses with relentless pursuit

The Scarecrow would tell me
Wisdom is wasteful for those
Without a strong appetite for improvement
But sometimes common sense can lead
The most sensible person astray
The Tinman would tell me
Compassion is constructed for
Tender hands to hold
But sometimes empathy can leave
The most charitable person betrayed
The Lion would tell me
Courage can be critical in
Times of distress
But sometimes vulnerability can make
The most sensitive person brave
And Dorothy would tell me
Home is paradise
Wrapped in picket fences
But sometimes a terrifying trip can bring
The most wary person escape
And suddenly it would occur to me
That strengths are just solid scars
We have confidence to display on our sleeves
And perfection can only permeate the souls willing to recognize
That faults shine golden too
So from here on out I'm placing my masks alongside my elbow pads
Both collecting dust beside the waste bin
Replacing security for sincerity
Finally embracing the scars on my skin
Now that is a trade off I'm willing to make
Because I want to feel alive again
 Apr 2014
eunsung aka Silas
Hello me,

I'm you. I'm the older you after multiple suicide attempts, and lost in a haze of ***** and drugs.  I am also you who sought and searched for some meaning and belonging, only to find hypocrisy and pain.  But all that aside, I wanted to thank you for not giving up on life even though you wanted to.  Finally asking for help when you did, even though a part of you didn't care anymore.  Thank you for letting hope grow in you one day at a time.  Thank you for letting me love you, so I can love me today.  Life is pretty amazing today, and we would have missed out on this beautiful journey because we were so locked in our pain. Now, you and I can share our story of pain and suffering to help someone else.  We don't have to stay in a hopeless state of mind and body.  Thank you for having the courage to surrender and admit you couldn't do it alone anymore.  I love you very much.

Love,

I'm You
This is a reminder to myself that I am not alone, and a love letter to myself , to my friends, and strangers yet to be friends who are struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts.
 Apr 2014
Evelynn Hohenbrink
I walk along these cracked streets
Taking in every crevice, every patch
And cannot help but admire
its character throughout time.

By night, the rain fills in the openings between the asphalt
By day, the sun rises and the water fades away,
And I cannot help but understand
that this cracked street and I have a lot in common
as I look inward and consider
all of the cracks
in my own being.

Some nights, the tears flow, mingling betwixt the cracks
in my heart and soul
flowing without direction.
Most days, the sun rises
and by that point everything within has dried.
There's no real point in fixing me,
because like the road that I walk upon,
there are simply too many cracks for people to pave.

It's not a particularly bad thing,
I've just accepted it and continued on.
After all,
I admire this old street for its character,
and so too must others do for me.
 Apr 2014
Jazzelle Monae
Perhaps we have no control
of our destinies
that all our choices
are preconceived
and if we are to
make the wrong
indecisions
they all lead to
similar conclusions
and choice is merely
a delusion
© 2014 by Jazzelle Monae. All rights reserved.
 Apr 2014
Katelin Michelle
the night recedes and so enables the day

    push and pull: the struggle that creates the fabric
       the fabric that sifts through the liquid moments
          the moments that remain over time

               the people that change the mind
                the mind that changes the thoughts
               the thoughts that change the one

       the water roars toward the shore, swift and strong
    the water glides back to its mass, apologetic and sullen

the day recedes and so enables the night
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