No one gets to come in
I am trapped inside my everflowing heart
The way it flows with my emotions it feels like I'm drowning
I'm drowning in envy,hate,and depression
My everflowing heart is drowning me in its boiling waves,snuffing out my every breath of relief
It pulls me down in its ever changing current
pushing and pulling my mind out of the equation
pulling me out from inside,I try to escape my everflowing heart
My heart traps me in these rushes of icey and lava showers and currents
And I can never swim away,it grabs hold of my arms and legs and pulls me down
It pulls me down till I'm almost crushed with its weight
The weight of all the pain and the hurt,the misery and the rush
My everflowing heart
Boils on the embers of my pain and weariness
And freezes on the ice of my fears and losses
The fears that crawl into my heart and creep into my mind
My everflowing heart freezes me in my fears, freezes me in my losses
Under its weight I'm frozen,it shifts its current and breaks me to pieces
My everflowing heart
it boils and freezes,
it pushes and pulls,
and breaks and shatters me apart
with its currents and an ever changing moon that controls it with a broken heart that once belonged to someone else

I want all of you
not just secret you
I want all of you
the good and the bad
and I'll give you all of me
Just me and just you
I want all of you
I want the parts you think are ugly but I think are beautiful because it's you
I want the beautiful parts of you even though you think they aren't that beautiful
I want the best of you
And I even want the worse of you
Because everything that's good and bad about you makes you you
And I love you
I don't want to be a secret anymore
I want all of you
So lets not be each others secret because we know exactly how we feel
And now I finally have all of you and you have all of me

He has a hold on it
It feels cold and hot with the intensity of it
My heart
it tricks me into thinking it's love, while he squeezes the life out of me
And then he lets me go
I feel nothing
I am nothing
I feel every pain I felt since I was born
I am the the pain I was given
It overmelms me
It crushes me, liquifies me
But this pain is nothing compared ot the broken heart he gave me
The hold he has on me is strong and unbearable
Tearing me apart while I try to pry his hold off of me
I feel it
Every rip and tear he makes on my soul, while I hear the horrible sound of my broke heart
Broken, torn, and ripped up
I fall
I fall into his arms of crushing betrayal
And I fall in love all over again
And his hold on me will never let go

I am a broken porcelain girl.
Not an angel,
a ghost.
And you will die like me;
*slowly.

Death's welcoming arms
his warm embrace
him closing in on your soul
giving you the illusion of peace and warmth
you feel your heart beat slowing down
you try to fight it but you can't
Death feels so good but you can still feel the pain of being alive
you feel the darkness in your eyes
and the chill down your spine
you strain your voice to say something
Something like: "Please...forgive me" or "I... love you" or sometimes nothing at all
You let out your last breath and the person leaning over you is screaming and crying out your name, and you can hear it fading away as Death calls you
His song loud and beautiful and his voice warms you
He carries you in his arms and you wrap your arms around his neck
you close your eyes and wait for the beginning of your end

Here I am, in this dream
Sitting beside this squeaky swing
Without you in it next to me
I feel this empty pit inside of me
It's deep, endless, and painfully excruciating
And you filled it with your love for me
You took away the pain for me
Without your love I'm completely empty
Empty like an eternal dreamless sleep
Empty with a dark void within me
And your love was the light within me
The only light that cared to shine for me
My purpose for life is alone and empty
I have nothing to dream of now that you don't love me
My broken heart is still shattered and it screams
Knowing that you don't love me
I'm swinging on this swing
The other one moving with the breeze
The familiar squeak mocking me
Cause when I look I see it's just the breeze

I'm not the same girl you met freshmen year
She caught emotional cancer when you first kissed her
That was her very first kiss
And it became very fatal when you took her virginity
And when you broke her heart she was too weak
She died, and I was the only one at the funeral to say "goodbye"
I never saw you there
Then I truly knew that you didn't love me the way I love you
And when you broke her heart
A new girl was given that heart
She was given that heart to ignore
And now she realizes that the broken heart she chose to ignore it still loves you
And whenever she's around you she knows that she'll never stop loving you
But she tries, she tries really hard to stop loving you
But she can't
She can't
She never thought she would fall in love with you and stay in love with you
She doesn't want to be in love with you anymore
But she is
It's amazing how you broke that girl's heart
And that other girl's who has her heart now still has that original girl's love for you
And no matter how broken my heart is, or how shattered it is
I'll always love you
I know I will

That laugh,
shakes like the demolition it's encasing.
Constantly used to hold back screams.
Used to reassure people shes fine.
A smile plastered on her face accompanied by
the laughter she practiced and mastered.
An artist of emotional controversy.
She is a mastermind of biting her tongue-
coming to terms that her silence is golden.
When you hear her, hold on tight to her words.
She will drill right into and past your heart
directly into your bones.
Her finely composed hostility will stay with you
forever.
That smile that could crack diamonds
never falters.

I feel myself being pulled in every direction.
I don't know what to do anymore.
The girl who has all the answers
is breaking under the microscope.
I realized the other day that I lie to myself
more than anyone else.
"Everything is fine.. I'm fine.. really don't
worry about me.. how are you?"
I'm lying.
Everything's not fine.
I'm not fine.
Worry about me.
I don't care how you are right now.
I'm ******* dying.

Standing before the masterpiece
she lamented it's incompleteness,
nothing ever gets completed in universe
thank homeostasis for the illusion