is dying.
I am tired of failing yet constantly trying.
It is not just self-realization anymore,
but a friend's comment, in half my confidence tore.
She said she never imagined I would end up this way,
little does she know I am begging my sanity and health to stay,
Instead, life is having its own way,
Me fighting for normalcy, yet my already stamped fate almost does not sway.
Take the painfully sweet escape and jump into the sea
And extinguish the light within me

Black and white,
Try as you might,
Entwined,
The heart, body, soul and mind,
A humble boy and a sharp tongued girl albeit with a warm heart,
Their personalities were a world apart,
Found balance for over two and a half years,
A love so pure and true despite the occasionally shed tears,
Walking precariously along a tight rope,
filled with dreams and hope,
Alas!
Her sharp tongue was what finally snapped the rope in half!
Filled with regret and undying love
They'll forever carry those sweet memories and always pray for each others well-being to the one above.

In a world where I need love,
Almost every person hides behind these elusive clouds,
And so every cigarette puff calms me down - temporarily,
Every drink drowns my sorrows - temporarily,
Every drag of a joint helps me escape - temporarily,
Every snort of ******* gives me a rush - temporarily,
My compulsive need to meet people to not feel so lonely - temporarily,
Almost every ****** encounter a vain attempt to fill a void,
All these medications failing to shut out these voices,
Don't you see I wasn't meant to be this way?
I look strong, unaffected by anything, such a rebel,
But it has been everyone of you that stripped down the confidence off me,
I'm slipping and people can see,
Yet there's no one willing to save me.
At the crossroads of death and insanity,
Hopefully, temporarily?

You pop up in my mind in almost every song I hear,
Yearning for you to be near,
or replaying the best memories of us that lay in the past,
Somehow, our love was not destined to last.

Was it really love I ask,
or was it just heartbreak that had cleverly put on a mask?
Because every time I reach out to you,
You slip amidst the shadows of your new life cut off from our love that I thought to be true,
But am I or you to blame?
Maybe it was me, because I finally put an end to our back and forth game.

I've treated my body like nothing but just flesh
When really, it has of its own a mind and a soul so warm
Bruised, torn apart, self abused, cut and treated like trash
Pleasure for some or me in need of some self-harm,
I trace each scar along my body over and over
So deserving of this torture
I can feel the agonising pain
All this blood is beginning to leave a huge red stain

My feelings for you resonate in the rainy skies today,
A storm of emotions that threaten an outburst beyond my control,
And like every rain that falls upon this earth,
I let out my deep anguished cries but for a while,
Until its time to stop and let the sun shine and pretend to the world I'm fine instead.

People perceive wounded and hurt only if it is something they can see
Vision fails them when you approach them with sickness of the mind
All I need is your love and understanding before I ensure it is the end of me
Exhausted from deviating myself from the path of self destruction
Oh that euphoric feeling! It just lingers around to consume me
I am my own victim I am told
But from where I stand, don’t you see that that’s what you made me to be?

When will I be able to put them to rest,
These monsters in my head.
Why can't I stop my mind from tormenting me and let it go,
Just as easily as people tell me so.

If maybe I could somehow stop my thinking,
I could save myself from sinking,
My life feels like a futile struggle in quick sand,
Oh how I wish my feet could feel some solid land!
All these breakdowns and self harm is my heart crying in despair,
I'm afraid my life is beyond repair.
In need of help but your attention I cannot steer,
How do I make myself disappear?

He lit up her world,
And then left leaving a little bit of his light with her,
She fuels it with their memories or imaginations,
He visits her time and again to gift her that one more memory,
To keep that light burning forever?