Look into her eyes,
what do you see?
happiness or tragedy?

If you look a little closer...
then you'll see,
that she portrays both of those things.

I paint for you..
Everything in my soul..
But i suppose i didnt use enough colors
For you to notice at all..

Last week

seven of my

children were

all together for

the first time

in a long time.


and as each one

came into the room

to greet me.

I felt my roots

grow

deeper and

deeper to

the center

of the universe.


and in their smile

I saw the smile of

my father,

the smile

of my mother.,


and as I drank

in their laughter

I became

drunk with

life.


and when night

fell

I looked up to

the heavens

took a deep

breath into

my soul.


then I

memorized

the exact place

of every star

and shimmer.


and I knew

I had finally

found my

place in

the universe.

Time doesn't heal.
And the wound knows it.
Layers gather on the ****
but the damage remains,
hiding itself deep inside
the secret scar

Pathetic.
That’s what I’d call you.
Just plain miserable
and manipulative.
You tricked me into giving you the world .
Deceived me into believing that you’d never do me *****
You blinded me by your lies
“Forget about them , you have me.”
But , I didn’t really have you ..
Did I ?
You took what you wanted .
You let me put you before myself .
But ?
I don’t even blame you .
Maybe if I would’ve been in your position ,
Being offered the world
And only being asked for friendship in return ..
Maybe then I would’ve robbed you of your trust .
And your love .

You were my best friend .
My ace ,
My platonic soulmate .
And I treated you as much .
But, what was I ?
To you ,
What was I ?
A personal tutor ?
Remember those last two essays that you just couldn’t get done ?
Who helped you ?
Who stayed up after an exhausting day at work ,
After having to bike home in the cold and rain ?
Just so you could pass and not worry.
Maybe , I was just a free ride .
Always taking you places ,
Always giving you the keys and letting you do whatever.
You filled the tank maybe twice
within a nine month period .
And I never once said anything .
Oh I got it , I was your ATM.
Whenever you needed money ,
I was glad to help .
Whether it was for an Uber so you could go to your volleyball tournament
Since your own “mother” couldn’t take you
Or whether it was for a Plan B because
YIKES
Your boyfriend didn’t know how to pull out .
Hm , I guess I was also a personal shopper .
Buying you clothes when I bought me some .
You didn’t wanna spend your money ?
That was fine .
I would spend mine
And you didn’t even have to ask.
I was everything except your friend
and that’s all I wanted to be .

I should’ve seen this coming .
I should have KNOWN .
Looking back
All I can see are the signs ,
Foreshadowing what was to come .
You started to change right in front of my own eyes
but I didn’t want to believe it .
Didn’t want to believe what I could clearly see .
You started to ignore me .
For days on end .
Living in the same house became something like a
Silent war .
Everyone against me .
Including you .
You started to disappear into your room .
There were no more lifetime movie marathons together .
No more staying up and goofing around together .
No more talking about any and everything together .
I lost you way before I knew I lost you
and that makes my heart ache
like a pre-existing bruise
getting hit over and over again .

There's a  time for everything,

a future where this passing moment will seem like nothing.

There's a song for every dream,

where dark and bright will be a theme.

Where negativity will die with no esteem,

where happiness will **** negativity scream,

hope and faith will make a strong team.

Making every existence of life supreme,

only positivity will reside in our bloodstream.

No one will whisper but speak,

optimism in every beat making no heart a weak,

outlook on life will never be bleak,

where time will be at it's highest peak,

each soul will be unique.