I emerge like the moon
on a sleep deprived  sky
I float through the  night
only to land on your hostile ground
The evenings a salute
to   it´s failures
There are episodes
of you in my life
which  have  no ending.
I  dot the bullets, as I lay
my head on a pillow
filled  with your words
I  crave  tomorrow
but as  the  sun rips through my
heavy curtains
Every strenght I managed to save
for this  day
Was I robbed of  yesterday.
Tomorrow comes and I
go back to sleep

Please don't be lonely when I'm gone
I've been sad for far to long
And now I've become so numb inside.
I want to slowly slip away
Into the darkness I will fade.

Please don't cry when I'm gone,
I haven't been myself for a while
And now I'm lost inside my mind.
I am tortured by these voices in my head
Telling me I'm better off dead.

Please don't be lonely when I'm gone,
I've been sad for far to long

I am stuck in a long hallway
Of mirrors
Each one shows something new
And unfamiliar
I can't even tell
Which one is me
Because I have expectations
But I can't see reality
I wish I could just perform
A vanishing act
Because I can't stand
The image that reflects
I am done with seeing
Elongated arms and chubby legs
And that twisted symphony
Repeating in my head
The number on the scale
Can never get too small    
Cause the mirror looks the same
When I leave the bathroom stall
Always something different
I just wish there was consistency
Because these carnival mirrors
Have got me hating all of me

He was once a handsome fellow
filled with dreams and hope
now his eyes are hollow
struggling so hard to cope

Did you know he was once married
and held a good position?
but then he turned worried
calling life an illusion

Somewhere along the way
something went terribly wrong
his mind began to stray
wondering where he belonged

No one knows why life turned bad
and perhaps no one can be blamed
But it was just so sad
His body was never claimed

For hours, I tried to sleep.
The rain drums down on the tin roof;
the demons are knocking.
I see their tears stream down the window;
a cleverly designed artifice to distract
from their true intent.
I ignore their subtle attacks, but they always
find a way back in.
I watch their shadows drift in through
the windows;
morphing from one shape into another,
hovering around me,
their whispered breaths cloud the air –
there is barely a space unfilled by their presence.
I can’t seem to chase them away, and I’m
wrapped up into their world.
Empty, cold and alone,
my reality remains stranger than any dream.

© Sia Jane

She
didn't cry
& yet
I was wet,
water
teased from
evaporated
steam
stirring in
deep wells
of stoic
eyes
dreaming
of a
sunrise,
just one day
she thinks
when she
will not wake
with the salt
of the sea
lapping
against
her lids.

I am full of the perpetual water,
A thin mist forms around me:

Immense feelings hover here,
Joy on sadness,
Sadness on joy,
The manifestation of my
Drained consciousness.
    
    I am a living wound.

My wings splintered
Among the ruins,
Contained in this paradoxical shadow;
Nevertheless I further myself
Into this fading.

It is real the light,
I can see in from the shadows.

The delicate lips of time
Kiss my forehead diffusing
My ticking bomb,
Alas I am too far
From the clarity of happiness.

Life is a timeless matter
Where only the mist is real.

miserable
it’s a common word
used in our life
you cannot eliminate
miserable from our life
coz
miserable is Life

Cave man lived miserable life
his survival was miserable
hunting was miserable
he stand naked before nature
that's too was miserable

to move out miserable
he found civilization
schooling is miserable
job is miserable
marriage is miserable
running family is miserable
old age is miserable

then,
what we have understood??
the term miserable
is nothing
but the life
another name of life..

If you want to escape from miserable
Death is the only exit….

When I'm with friends
I am supposed to be happy
I am supposed to laugh at their jokes
I am supposed to have intellectual discussion
I am supposed to talk about love, lust and life
I do these things but I don't feel them like I should

Warm and fuzzy feelings
A sense of accomplishment for the things I do
All of which is not there
Instead replaced with a sense of numbness
A numbness that spreads from the tips of my toes to my watery eyes
All of which is directed by my unmanned control panel

Sure there are some days that I want to cry
But I'm not sad because of anything
I'm sad because of indifference
Indifference to the pleasure and pain in my life
Indifference toward whether or not the people around me love me
It seems that the only indifference I don't have is indifference to myself

I hate myself for being this way
Looking into the past like a pool of water
Convinced that I can even do anything besides splash it
And when I turn around to look to the future
Finding that I am surrounded by a jail cell with bars and no keys
Trapped forever in a state of perpetual limbo of pathetic self-pity

I find it hard to express myself because when I do
I am told repeatedly that I need to put it aside
Like it's okay that I am feeling it alone
Like it's okay that I feel there are only ever two types of days
Bad days or worse days
Like it's okay that I pray every day that today won't be a worse day

Maybe if I had control it would be okay
Maybe if I treated my failures like no big deal it would be okay
Maybe if I had a motivation or a sense of purpose it would be okay
But I have none of those things
So it's not okay
Nothing is okay and I will never be okay