I wasn't there with my body
when you were happy,
or walking in an evening rain,
I wasn't there with my eyes
to see the tears you shed
I wasn't there to feel your skin,
to see your eyes bloom at night.
I wasn't.

I wasn't there with the body
that would keep your feelings warm,
I wasn't with the arms
that would make your pain go.

I thought i was there in your soul,
a shade of sea,
a morning in the spring,
my words, I thought,
they'd make you feel
the same sunrise that's in my smile
whenever your voice speaks to me.

I hoped I was at least a dream,
a thought of yours at night,
a traveller in your mind,
a phrase,
a nonsense,
I hoped
I was one of your cigars,
your cup of tea,
your rest.

I thought
I hoped
In silence now I know
I wasn't with you
at all.

you are the voice
of my most cruel thoughts
remind me of all the
tears, and nightmare i have fought

you tear me down each day
haven't seen you in years
but you're still here
one of my greatest fears

tortured by the memories
you've cursed me with
ask me if i miss you
i plead the fifth

please get out stay out
stop living in my head
stop making me scared
to live for myself instead

i can't be haunted anymore
but you linger here
never fading out
i need you to dissapear

I lived in greatest of expectation
Wished I'd find one to share my grief
Someone to understand my situation
And I ultimately found her,to my relief

I was you
So obsessed with the pleasure I found
To her control where I was bound
So cultured to having her around
Lost in conversation, love as common ground

I was you
I trusted without asking
Yes,it was really tasking
loved like there's no hurting
Held on like we was never parting
Kissed deeply and memorably
Embraced tightly and inevitably
Lost it all,as I vividly recall

I was you
When the love became history
yet I couldn't solve the mystery
when all I tried to say only irritated
and the warmth of her evaporated

I was you
when my tears flowed like a stream
and I just couldn't bear the steam
when scary was every dream
I wouldn't survive an hour it'd seem

I was you
I watched blindly as days went by
Even my tears said goodbye
my eyes bloodshot and dry
like I was doing **** and sky high

I was you
when aches became my pleasure
And with loneliness I spent my leisure
When mistakes cost me my treasure
was told for memories time's the only eraser

I was you
when I was axed and "vexed"
and no one else worked
for my moods were a pendulum
and moving on an extra curriculum
when I wanted to see her in the next
and I would still call her and text

I was you
I was empty for I had lost a universe
she was in every song and every verse
threw away chances,missed every pass
ignored the glances,a man under a curse

I was you
but one day I started to rebuild
I was tired of looking back
and needed to get back on track
I started to count my blessings and luck
To see the much I have over the little I lack

I was you
But self actualisation came with time
a long time of wandering lost
years of being dead to life and living a ghost
of thinking letting go was a crime
when I gave up forever and ceased to be blind
placed pieces of my heart in a bag and let reign my mind

I was you
when I wouldn't live without her
and I reopened every healed scar
when I felt that if it wasn't her it wasn't love
until I realised we only lose what we don't deserve

I was you
Till I believed I could find myself again
that if I couldn't overcome I could live with the pain
when I forgot the innocence and embraced the stain
and instead of crying I started dancing in the rain
I was you

I should be touching the stars still
Because I have you, holding me in your arms
But I'm slowly falling again
About to hit the ocean's roaring surface
About to shatter, then sink
So hold me close, and never let go,
promise me
If I break, you'll piece me back together
Promise me
If I wander away, you'll follow me
You'll find me and bring me home
Promise me,
promise me,
promise me
You'll only ever tighten your grip
but don't smother me, no
Help me breathe
Just promise you won't give up on me
When I am falling, you'll catch me
promise me,
promise me,
oh, please, promise me
you won't leave me to fade away
alone.