I am a girl that calls herself a planet.

I do this because I look around and I see that I don't belong. I first thought it was the world that was different, but as I grow older I see that it is I that differs. The things I like are deemed weird. I speak with blunt force and honesty- but in this society that is looked down upon. I am not what beautiful is defined to be. In fact, I'm the exact opposite. So, I choose not to be seen.

Yet, I want to be wanted. Though being wanted is unattainable for a planet like me. I have a house, but not a home. I have parents and siblings, but not a family. I have people to talk to, but not friends. I am alone. It's not that I feel too small for this world, it is that I feel too big. I'm not good around people. So, I must be alone for the better of society. And I'm afraid, that I will be alone for the rest of my life.

That is the burden of being a planet; remaining untouchable.

Another day
spent
writing sad poetry
about
Y O U.

"I feel the beat of my own words as they tumble
A stutter, a jump in the waves of thought that crash
Down, encircling my head, shooting an emotional gun
A bang in bed, so hard it breaks. The love causes a concussion."  

I am thinking too much,
I can't just let thoughts fall from my lips,
I wish I could speak out about emotion;
The path they've led me down,
And have people think they're beautiful and heartfelt,
But I don't have that capability because lately my
Mind has been overcrowded and empty,
I contradict myself like a wasp that has no sting.
What's the point?
I am a poet that can't write or rhyme,
I am a performer with no character,
An artist without a clear muse and so
I scribble on a page hoping to find
Someone who will respect my patheticness.
I listen to music, wishing that I could sound like
The people who know what to do the next day,
Because I have no clue.
Thinking that far ahead leaves holes in my vision
Because something is missing,
But I cant see far enough to find it!

My entire life has been a magnifying glass,
Trying to find my way, the right way, and society's way,
But I can only follow one path and that one
May not even be paved yet.
And as a girl who hated wearing shoes as a child
And who looks to her childish heart for guidance,
That may be a problem.

Her perfume smelled of cheap Musk,
      tobacco and passion flowers,
the scent of betrayal lingered
         long after she had retreated

Morning comes early in the camp,
as we wake to another day.
Collecting water is what comes first,
so we can wash and cook before we play.

Our home is a tent,
among a thousand more.
Leaving our town and friends behind
in an effort to stay alive and nothing more.

Five days in the desert
we escaped a brutal land.
Crossing the border
to find a new peaceful land.

We have no money
or worldly goods.
But, with mother, father and sister too,
we are still a family with love.

Looking for a Home!

What can I say?
I am floating in a cove of pain,
Of forgotten memories and lost quotes,
The silent sobbing no one hears.
Alone in my bed, I am silent.
No one hears the way I weep,
For me, for all of them.
I can no longer remember,
The way laughter truly feels.
I miss laughing until I cried.
Now I just start crying and keep crying.
My face can hold a smile for hours,
Just waiting until its safe to remove it.

What do I do?
I am drifting away from everything, everyone.
I am shutting off my heart,
Closing down my head.
Letting myself fall into the void,
That is easier than feeling.

What could I do?
The numbness keeps me alive.
The feelings would **** me.
Loss,
Misery,
Loneliness,
Suffering,
Regret,
Chaos,
Destructi­on,
That is all I have.
The numbness takes it away.
Silents the swirl of anxiety.

What do I say?
When asked why I never called,
Never texted,
Never replied.
My mind is complacent.
My phone unimportant,
My life irrelevant.
My soul withered.