Embrace the madness watch what you become
A being of light radiant like the Sun
Witness empires fall..Kingdoms come
Tell the tales of humanity the wicked ones
No heaven can hold a heart so bold
Space I fold when tales are told
Chop it up..clean it..nicely rolled
Inhale..exhale..now I'm blowed
Witness the magic without the rabbit
You may not see it best believe I have it
Eat up Demons devour bad habits
Visions of violence taste the tragic
I have no limits I wear no chains
Not held back by illusion or mental strain
Pull plug on sorrow let it drain
Take every pain make it a gain
You see insanity has its perks
Mastering moments doesn't always work
Yet to try doesn't hurt
Possibilities are endless so I flirt
You see I can ramble on for days
Share Vibrations to get a raise
Combinations come in many ways
Tapped into a song that always plays
My soul is thirsty I need a drink
I look..I see what people think
Of course it's insanity I live on the brink
Only few get my Devils wink
So I sit writing lines
Dropping my thoughts like land mines
One exploded in the rhyme
Memories splattered throughout time
For once let the madness take control
Evolve pass boundaries of your soul
Embrace the obvious that makes you grow
Unlock hidden knowledge you already know..

The clown cries silent tears
Behind his painted on smile
Carrying a single red balloon
Trying to walk in big shoes

All the world is laughing
As he keeps on walking
No one sees his sadness
For he wants to belong

This is his curse and career
Always just a laughing stock
If only they saw his humanity
They would be all the same

The clown had no home
All his world is a circus
Putting on a show and watched
Isn't he a bit like all of us

Information is the key to success
So I traveled with my fellows to explore the world
Step by step they have gone towards unknown worlds
Step by step I had been walking
I had been walking through the dark and deep forests
I had been walking by the strange creatures
I had been observing beyond the east and west
I had been observing beyond the height of skies
I had been observing deep down the earth
I didn't ignore the galaxies
I didn't ignore the micro organisms
I was not fed up of the use of telescope
I was not fed up of having the taste of new and old eatables
At last I have explored a new world and
I have known one thing that I don’t know any thing
As everywhere You and I've find You!

If I wasn't gay would people care?
Would they actually let me breath the same air?
Could I actually go to school,
without people being so cruel?
Could I live in a world with no hate?
Maybe people would love me if I was straight.
It's not as easy as people think.
I can't just go to a shrink.
I didn't choose to be this way.
You really think I'd want to be gay?
I don't want attention,
I don't want fame.
This isn't some sort of game.
I am who I am and thats okay.
Most people don't see it that way.
I only wish I could be the same.
To have a wedding and it not be shamed.
I want to have kids and not be judged.
I don't want my reputation smudged.
But apparently I'm different now.
Sick in the head somehow.
Therapy and shock treatment for something that can't be fixed.
How did I get put into this mix?
Toxic and tragic,
that's my life.  
It's like I was stabbed in the back with a knife.
I'm gay,
what's wrong with that?
I get treated like some rat.
Using your holy books and your religion.
To fight against something that makes no difference.
I want to be a human not a punching bag.
Always getting called a ***.
Let that word have power and it gets to you.
But that words as good as whatever is stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I love being this way.
I don't care what you say.

You once wrote me,
"This might be a really bad idea or a brilliant one."
Isn't it funny how it turned out to be both?

A worst-case-scenario mentality
Breeds emotional nightmares of what-ifs
Methodically feeling the pain in each possibility
Preparing for Hell, knowing it is impractical, improbable, and unkind
Each reaction gauged
Smiles erupt in each better choice
A familiar road traveled often
Lead only by a history of pain
It ebbs and flows, bobs and weaves at will
This reality is organized, easy to understand

Random thought of an unlikely, unfathomable future
Vivid like a film
Unwavering, persistent
There is no controlling its outcome
Forced to watch the images forged in a broken mind
Tears burn flesh and a naked heart bleeds
Stop rolling, just...stop
No amount of pleading slows the images
The pain is overwhelming
Far beyond self-inflicted, torturous, methodical thoughts
Uncontrollable, inconsolable
True and real
So very real

There is but one way to stop that future
The one shown in visions of just deserts
The future that smolders through present joy
Preemptive pain is just not an option

I've seen the future my heart has built
The shards of a shattered soul
Offer no comfort

My worst-case-scenario was but a benign freckle on the elbow of a body invaded by metastatic melanoma

My
Insecurities
knowing their emptiness
drive the conversation.
Always pushing for one more
drunken night.
One more night to fake love.
One more night to let jealousy
envelop only
one of us.