punishment, not fit

for a velvet plaything

treated like lobotomized dogs

vast vivid wilderness of pain

will you ever see through the fog


the wretchedness I adore

in my head, eternal hell

taken for granted our prizes are mounted

the hypocrisy we deplore


punishment not fit for a mangled heart

blisters these hands twitch

to be found, all is lost to start

feel the nervous itch

dance around things you don't mean, like a drunken prideful nomad. I represent everything I am missing. yes I, what do I mean

the static quo must go
nothing beneath, or behind the sounds
deaf tones bones strewn all around

long words, all cheap
dumb lines, all neat

coughed-up cadence and routine cream
cartoon choruses and tricked-out seams

hooky fakes and bookend breaks
easy gaits
minimum stakes

no sharp edge, no hidden fold
no golden age spirit, no new age soul
no color streaks, or manic peaks
no blind side streets, or bipolar beats

disconnect my wires, or else cut it off
put out my fire, or else cut it off

nothing sticks
nothing clicks
**** me quick

There's not much out here.*
I only invite people who
Say just that

With a slight
Gasp of
Relief.

The last specks of snow on the
Fields disappeared with the parting
Of the clouds.

Now blue, the skies smile
Upon everything.
I spoke to a friend today.

The birds keep picking at the
Sunflower seeds I put out by
My window.

I spoke to a friend today.
Now my windows are eyes to my
Soul as I watch mud and dead

Grass kiss the sun back with nothing
But themselves. This spring, as every.
We are not beautiful yet.

But we love you for making us
That; green and alive. Spring is
Spring to everything.

Spring to everything, and not only  
The words of my friend's
Linger, but the feeling does too; that

When all is as beautiful as this,
I'm not the only one
Seeing it.

Blue is the boulder overlooking the bay
Loosely pocked by weather-worn stains
Unwavering guardian of all that lay
Enigmatic yet silently screaming its pains

Blue is the reflection dancing playfully
Laid generously by the twilight moon
Upon the vast canvas of the darkened sea
Elated ripples readily accepting such a boon

Blue is the halo encircling the moon
Lavish circlet gifted by the sun
Unnoticed by eyes that slumbered too soon
Evading the sands of time that run

Blue is the silhouette of a lone sailboat
Lurching and bobbing by will of the waves
Unknowingly catching the zephyrs that float
Eluding the fingers from watery graves

Blue is the man; perched upon the boulder
Lapping up the stars mirrored upon the sea
Usurped heart of his had never sung drearier
Ensnared by woeful wonderment...
                                           **that man is me...

for him:
he greets me goodnight and goodmorning everyday. he doesn't forget telling me to eat properly. he helps me to figure out what to wear. he doesn't let me wear revealing clothes even when it's really hot outside. he insists on walking me back to my house even though it's afternoon and there are many people outside. he always texts back. he met almost everyone i know in my life. he loves me. he told me that one day when he bought me ice cream. he knew my favorite ice cream flavor. he loves me. but i never wanted him.

for you:**
it's different. you might not always text back because i know you're busy. you might not talk to me when you're online but i understand. you might get jealous a little bit for what he's doing for me but i know you wanted to do that for me too, you're just a miles away. but i'm sure for what i'm feeling. you might not talk to me for one day and i could still wait for you until you do. i'd do that. because my feelings for you are far more different than i have ever felt in my entire life.

Thanks to all who read
my work, who shared and followed.
Made an old heart glad.