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Jan 23 · 64
Reach Out
I reach out to nothing,
Expecting something,
Something deep and beautiful,
Complex, hard to follow.

I reach out to nothing,
With a broken hand, weakened heart, and shattered soul,
Picking up the pieces as I go.

I reach out to nothing,
While it never reaches back.
Yet I keep on reaching.
I am hopeless like that.
Jan 23 · 18
Electric Shock
Your electricity stretches from the heavens,
All the way down, down, deep into my core,
Penetrating all emptiness.
My heart stops and starts again.
A short-lived force of nature.
Aug 2018 · 287
What It Is
Colette Williams Aug 2018
It is not greed,
The thirst for riches.
It is not ****,
The hunger for skin.
It is not wrath,
The delight in spilled blood.
It is not sloth, jealousy, gluttony, or pride.
It is simply evil,
Devoid of complexity,
Absent and empty.
It is all-encompassing, surrounding you, surrounding me,
In a cloud of poison, toxicity.
Jun 2018 · 186
I am not Alive
Colette Williams Jun 2018
I am not alive;
There is death in my eyes.
There is no meaning in each step.
There is no soul in my breath.
Jun 2018 · 63
Why I Write
Colette Williams Jun 2018
I do not write solely for expression.
I write to be known and heard.
I write to be felt and feared.
I pour truth out like water and ask you to take a sip.
There is no shame.
Jun 2018 · 51
Colette Williams Jun 2018
There is death now, inside of me,
Silence and tranquility.

Tonight the life inside of me speaks,
Screams, cries, and tells a story.

A story of abuse and neglect,
Loneliness and lack of friendship.
Many questions, such as,

So many questions left unanswered.
So many feelings left unattended.
A child is left to wonder and to hurt.
The adults are left to regret.
The criminals are left alone.

Self-esteem is ruined.
Life turns to death.
Death turns to freedom.
Jun 2018 · 95
A Single Place
Colette Williams Jun 2018
I shut you out,
With a false smile on my mouth.
I let you in,
Only enough to graze my skin.
I open the door,
Only to lay still upon the floor.
I wake up in my bed,
Only to gaze at the ceiling overhead.
Jan 2018 · 115
Colette Williams Jan 2018
It starts off small.
A nag, here or there.
Did you forget to do this,
Did you remember to do that?
It grazes the line.
Did you check and re-check?
Did you re-check again?
It grows larger.
How many times did you check?
Could you check once more?
Larger than you.
Did you double, triple, and quadruple check?
Did you do everything you could do?
Jan 2018 · 95
Colette Williams Jan 2018
Peace is a distant friend
That rarely calls
Never drops by for a coffee
Or a casual conversation.
Has Peace moved on,
Found a better friend?
While I sit here, bitter,
Peace, what can I do to bring you back?
Oct 2017 · 129
The Ungrateful
Colette Williams Oct 2017
Oh the ungrateful...
The lack of perspective,
Commitment to complaining,
Lack of compassion,
Allergic to compromise,
Unaware of their fortune,
Shining in a self-crafted crown.
Jul 2017 · 166
Our Illusions
Colette Williams Jul 2017
Sensitive, soft,
Sweet, kind, giving,
Adorable, petite,
Young, naive, innocent.
That's what you see.
Your eyes create many illusions.
Jul 2017 · 144
Ordinary Day
Colette Williams Jul 2017
Your ordinary day is very different from mine
It is the kind of day that breaks into song
That smoothly blends from one scene to the next
With little complication or care to details
It is a day I could only dream of.
Though I rarely dream with this disease
This illness running through every vein
Turning my smiles into forced grins
The light in my eyes dulling
My hair and skin is tainted, touched by this sickness.
I wake up every morning, toxins flowing through me.
I wonder what it is like to have an ordinary day.
Jun 2017 · 1.1k
One More Night
Colette Williams Jun 2017
I crawl into bed, *****,
Leaving no excuse to leave.
My body melts into the sheets,
Every limb relaxing,
Every part of me letting go,
Except for my mind.
It races and demands my attention,
Like a child incessantly tugging at my sleeve.
I turn over and pull the blanket up.
Warmth envelopes my fears,
Engulfes my cares.
Still, my stubborn brain carries on.
I fight back with vivid fantasies of closing my heavy eyes.
A fight that I win, at least for tonight.
Goodnight body, goodnight mind.
Tomorrow is another day.
Jun 2017 · 166
Colette Williams Jun 2017
Life breathed into me
Its last breath
Leaving me empty and sullen
Unforgiving and cold
A murderous mind
Calculated moves
Dead, dark eyes.
May 2017 · 153
It's Back
Colette Williams May 2017
I feel my dignity fall all around me
A light melody
Playing carelessly in my head
A chorus of voices,
In confusing, imperfect unison.
They are here to stay, at least for today.
It's the psychosis again. Sinking in.
May 2017 · 165
Colette Williams May 2017
The world may be dark and cold
But I am no stranger
Treated like an innocent,
When I am everything but.
I know how evil people can be,
Though I have seen acts of great good.
We have no way to predict
And must let go of this desire
To know and judge strangers.
May 2017 · 347
Fallen Ego
Colette Williams May 2017
Hold on to your pride.
Clutch it like a mask
On a diving, burning plane.
Only let go when you're alone,
Screaming as the altitude drops,
Cold reality seeping in around you.
Everything is falling, and you are mortal.
You will finish in the same place
As everyone else.
You will breathe your last breath
As everyone else.
You will have regrets and questions
As everyone else.
Get ready to come down here
With everyone else.
May 2017 · 132
Colette Williams May 2017
Sometimes I wish I could just hide from you,
You, who feels only the cold touch of fear,
You, who breathes in uncertainty.
You, who sees treachery, everywhere.
Cannot suspend belief, cannot find relief.
You, who is too adult to bear.
My patience for you is nowhere
To be found.
May 2017 · 126
A Vision
Colette Williams May 2017
I dreamed it all okay,
That the cruel ones went away,
That kindness took the wheel,
Driving us to heal.

I sunk the darkness with my mind,
Left the monsters far behind.
With smiles and love leading the way -
A whole new world, a whole new day.
May 2017 · 92
Colette Williams May 2017
Diamonds drip
Drip drip blood
Soaks the soles of your feet
Soul empty, silent defeat
Gold gleaming
As the shining star that you are.
May 2017 · 131
Colette Williams May 2017
My world was a gray place
An expressionless face
Where black and white people celebrate
Sameness and predictability
Void of creativity.
May 2017 · 126
Colette Williams May 2017
What do I need
But a beautiful day
A tree that breathes, heavy and deep,
The water under its feet.
Sunflowers tilt their hats as I walk by
I hear a baby bird cry.
Its mother nudges it towards the ledge;
I watch it fall then fly.
It touches the sky.
Is this all real?
I am beginning to feel,
May 2017 · 203
Colette Williams May 2017
Ah the snowflake
Shiver and shake
Quietly as an earthquake
As it falls on my tongue
The cold makes me numb
As the white envelopes my black,
Is there no turning back?
The snowflake is a savior
A product of our nature
It dances with my despair
It weaves hope into my hair
Yet with every passing year
The hope seems to disappear
The smiles begin to fade
The dullness won't go away
Snowflake, you have pacified me.
Falsely, I believed I was safe.
So I must say goodbye forever
Can no longer be tethered
To your touch.
Feb 2017 · 169
Just A Dream
Colette Williams Feb 2017
Sometimes it's easier
To believe
That it's all a dream
Not real, can't hurt you.
Feb 2017 · 183
Failed Catalyst
Colette Williams Feb 2017
What am I
But a failed catalyst?
A spark of fire in water
Lightning in an empty field
Suspended belief in a fantasy
No real action
No real progress
No reactions.
Dec 2016 · 241
Coming Down
Colette Williams Dec 2016
I touch the sky
Trace the stars with my fingers
Wonder why am I alive
As I drift like the icy snow
From the clouds to the ground
Blowing over everything
Blowing you off
When you say I will be okay,
That it will be alright.
Jul 2016 · 250
(Im)perfect World
Colette Williams Jul 2016
Dried tears
Numbed eyes
Here is my perfect world
Watch it as it falls
All around me
I no longer feel the pain
I just feel bliss
Jun 2016 · 339
Your Superior
Colette Williams Jun 2016
She has been molded carefully,
As she shuns all equality.
Her arrogant smirk,
That loud, interrupting voice
Seeping with sarcasm,
She looks at the world
Through superior lenses.
You are her next victim,
Then it's on to another contender.
Jun 2016 · 205
Colette Williams Jun 2016
Sometimes I open a book
Get lost in the pages, in a safe dream
Sometimes I imagine a world
Where everything is purple and beautiful
My imagination is limitless, fearless
As clumsy reality makes a new mess.
Jun 2016 · 164
Anyone but Me
Colette Williams Jun 2016
As I bury myself underneath your skin,
All of the icy hesitation
Melts away as I am no longer me.
I can live, I am loved, I am free.
Jun 2016 · 302
Spotlights and Shadows
Colette Williams Jun 2016
You made me feel like I couldn't do anything
Like I was small, meaningless
Like I was ****.
You made me feel like a little speck of dust
On an otherwise beautiful painting.
You made me feel like the my world was ending.
Holding your external success - charm and prettiness.
I sat in the shadows of the storm clouds you summoned
With the rain pounding on my bare skin
Dripping cold and wet, a ***** mess.
You disposed of me quickly, efficiently,
Leaving nothing but a hollow body.
Jun 2016 · 442
Colette Williams Jun 2016
I have something I love to do
Something that gets me up
Every morning
That I love, that I care for

It brings me life, reminds me why
I smile even when it's hard.
Jun 2016 · 455
At the bottom
Colette Williams Jun 2016
Sometimes we think we can escape
With a pill, or a drink.
Sometimes we perfect pulling the wool
Over our own eyes.

I lay down now,
The world melting around me.
My blood pressure dropping infinitely.
I breathe in, let a sigh out
As the world spins recklessly about.
May 2016 · 637
A Love Lullaby
Colette Williams May 2016
My arms wrap around you
Until everything disappears
It's just us, lying peacefully here
Finally, I can breathe
Hum quietly in your ear
The night slides by easily
Whenever you are near.
Apr 2016 · 191
The Missing Piece
Colette Williams Apr 2016
I dream of him
His smile, his beautiful brown eyes
His heart, purified.
No one has ever loved me this much
I die with his gentle touch.
Apr 2016 · 226
One Eye
Colette Williams Apr 2016
He sees with one eye
A single, solitary vision
Of an evil person
His black and white picture
Cannot be any clearer.
Apr 2016 · 174
The Very Bottom
Colette Williams Apr 2016
Can someone please
Please take me out of this place
Where I feel everything and nothing
All at once
Never did I ask to be this way
Yet I am shunned and chastised every day
Can anyone make this pain go away
Can anyone give me a reason to stay?
Apr 2016 · 251
Colette Williams Apr 2016
She breathes underneath my skin
Cannot hide her, she screams from within
Her ugliness radiates throughout me
She lacks all morals, all dignity
Crawling on top of you, covered in poison
She burns you alive with her acidity
With her jaded touch
I cannot love her, I resent her too much.
Apr 2016 · 255
Colette Williams Apr 2016
I never asked him to take it
But then again, he never gave.
He stole, he hurt, always betrayed.
I never really wanted to lose it
It slipped right out of my grasp
Just imagine that,
Right out of my grasp,
Like a piece of yourself you can never get back.
Apr 2016 · 185
Evil is Alive
Colette Williams Apr 2016
Devious, dark
Smoky figure
All around me
As I fade away
Becoming that dark person
That diabolical girl
Who hides and stalks and preys
On all.
Apr 2016 · 222
Colette Williams Apr 2016
It's 2 AM, and this is the time
That I have to accept
Beautiful people
They die sometimes
For no good reason
Other than a poor, sad excuse
That no one could help them.
Feb 2016 · 165
A Second's Grace
Colette Williams Feb 2016
It's like that terrible second when you're waiting on the pain.
When the nerve has yet to tell your brain.
Feb 2016 · 147
Stronger, Less Afraid
Colette Williams Feb 2016
I refuse to let these tears fall.
I refuse to let you get to me.
I have been strong for so long.
I have broken down, shamelessly.
I am human even when I don't want to be.
Here I stand, looking you right in the eye.
Give me your worst.
I'm at my best.
Feb 2016 · 179
Facing It
Colette Williams Feb 2016
And so I let it all just melt away.
The hurt, the rejection. The uncertainty.
All of it.

In its place, a fire grew.
Fueled by endless years of beating myself up,
Of hurting the person I should love first.

Suddenly their words felt far away.
The criticism, the pain.
It all melted away. It was harmless.
Dec 2015 · 284
No Regrets
Colette Williams Dec 2015
If we could all hit a button to obtain love, happiness, and success, we probably would.
Then regret would flood through us as we realized that effort and hard work make us complete,
Make us alive.
We would sit there with everything handed to us,
And nothing to show for it.
Sep 2015 · 197
Hardest on Ourselves
Colette Williams Sep 2015
Stick a pin,
Right under your skin.
Leave it there, remember where.
Push it farther and farther in,
Everytime you fail to win.
Sep 2015 · 710
It's Your Move.
Colette Williams Sep 2015
You make the choice.
You can either carry on, or give up.
You can laugh about it or you can cry.
You can keep quiet or speak your mind.
You can cling to your independence with all your might,
Or learn how to ask for and accept help.

...You can go for it, or you can just get out.
Sep 2015 · 233
The Bully
Colette Williams Sep 2015
I'm sitting here, sick.
The poison of your words, it sticks.
I take in a breath, try to calm down.
I'm confronted with that nasty sound.
The voice that always has something cruel to say.
No matter how pointless, it is here to stay.
Sep 2015 · 248
Colette Williams Sep 2015
Her self-worth is so fragile in your hands.
You could crush it anytime, like a velvety butterfly wing.
She stares up at you, powerless,
Dreading your next move...
It's all up to you.
Aug 2015 · 385
Colette Williams Aug 2015
I've been living on...
Fake smiles,
False promises,
Long days,
Lonely nights,
Fairweather friends,
And strong stimulants.

Somehow I'm still hungry.
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