Cherisse May

Dec 2018

Ashari Ty

plot twist

the only plot twist
that i need in my life
is us

#plot #twist #line

Cherisse May Nov 2018

black noise from the back of my mind.

if I wrote you a suicide note,
will you care to read it?
will you leave me on "seen"
or will you leave me hanging?

What if I sent you a suicide note on a messaging app?

Because it might happen soon enough.

#sad #suicide #lonely #depression #note #letter #hanging

Cherisse May Nov 2018

write more.

I’ve never really felt
The need to write, more and more,
Until suicide notes and love letters all felt the same way.

Write more. More. Because suicide notes have started to become love letters of the ******

#sad #suicide #lonely #letters #writing

Cherisse May Oct 2018

closed spaces

when the wind blows,
ever so strong, the trees shaking in their roots,
the little grasses holding on to dear life,
i simply shut the door.

but eventually, i've learned
to embrace the wind, the rain;
i've learned to flow along with the wind,
and cry under the rain.

but now, i guess
it's time to stop trusting the wind and the rain;
it's time to shut my heart out once again,
and hide in my own closed space.

i've learned to open up and invest so much into a person.

by the end of the day i should have known better; i shouldn't assume they're my friends. don't want to end up disappointed, and disappoint people.

time to protect myself from trusting anyone ever again.

it's my fault.

#closed #space #wind #rain #sad #lonely

Cherisse May Oct 2018

one less.

one less spoonful.
i repeat, and eat less.
one less kilogram.
i repeat, and eat less.

as i look at my own reflection in the mirror,
as if to mock me,
it's all the same;
i am still not enough.

one less craving.
i say, as my stomach grumbles.
one less meal.
i say, as the bile comes rushing in, forcing its way out.

one less spoonful.
i say, as i head to the comfort room after a meal.
one less kilogram.
i say, as i force my fingers into my mouth, expelling the contents of my own stomach.

i need help.

#food #meal #weight #fear #less #hunger #force

Cherisse May Oct 2018

talking to;

anxiety talks to me,
her velvet, silk voice, trembling, yet wrapped around me,
choking my insides, stomach twisting,
all reason gone; blinded and paralyzed by fear.

depression talks to me,
as he leans close into my ear,
as he releases a ***** sigh, an exhale of various colors,
as he feels the weight of the blade on my skin.

no voice deserves to be left to dust;
yet these voices turn me into dust.

#sad #lonely #anxiety #depression #talk

Cherisse May Oct 2018

detachment and depression.

loneliness is emptiness
filled to the brim with nothingness,
a lack of sufficient funding
to pay for my actual thinking.

breathing is a waste of time,
when nothing will ever go right;
a cacophony of everything,
and nothing, all at once.

i can't pay for mental therapy sessions, so i ended up on this site.

making poems, a band-aid solution to a gaping hole depression caused, instead of finding a better option.

i really can't pay for a visit to the doctor.

besides, i can't even open up to you; you hate inconveniences and my depression is one of the many inconveniences you encounter.

and besides, you don't owe me anything; it's just right that you've always been detached from our friendship since day one.

#sad #lonely #friend #breathing #empty