dropped off my child at 2, today,
it was earlier than usual, this sunday,
kneeled on broken glass,
   so i could give him a hug.

look at me, i'm proud of you babe
he wiped the tear, dribblin' down my face,
saved that salt,
   from its fall to grace.

the new man shook my hand with a smug
grasped it tighter, than a drug,
feared the pain in my eyes,
   better hope he'll never feel.

released, my hand with a shrug,
i winked at him, and said good luck,
if you **** with my heart,
   be bound in a rug, ya will.  

limped away with, my head held high,
saw a perched raven, above my ride,
got back in the car,
   my new life, forevermore.

nothing i can do but wait a week or four,
i'm abolished,  from their door,
nail polish masks the smell of the rain,
  now beginning to pour.  

my son, i'll gladly take your pain,
i'll starve for you to eat again,
slit my wrists,
  so you'll never have to bleed.

What does this mean?
What does it mean to trend?
Do I make an impact?
Do I make a difference?

The empty poems
The ones that mean nothing
Trend

The passionate ones
The ones that mean everything
Trend

Why?
Why do they trend?
What makes them loved?
Do I make a difference?

Why do I inspire you?
Why do I move you?
I don't understand
I really don't understand

all i remember is that first sip,
the rest, of course, is a blur.
i don't remember tripping over thin air,
or being here but not being all there.
i tried to drink you away,
to forget the taste of your lips,
i craved more and more,
even though i wasn't supposed to be doing this.
i tried to dance you away,
to forget the weight of your bones,
i danced all night long,
it did nothing for me, though.
because i saw your face and heard your voice,
i thought of your body and thought of your noise.
we were perfectly imperfect,
and yet i took every drink,
every drug,
every song,
every opportunity,
to forget how much you mean to me.
i kissed a different set of lips,
and still tasted you,
i held a different body between my hips,
but still screamed like it was you.
i knew texting you was a bad idea but i still did it anyways,
and what you said next made everything in my body freeze.
"i'm sorry for everything,
i'm sorry i ever dated you.
i'm sorry for the bruises and broken bones,
i'm sorry i ever got attached to you."
that's when i finally craved the feeling,
of alcohol running in my veins.
it burned my throat a little,
but i relished in the pain.
i still remember the thought,
nothing that good could ever go bad,
the night was a blur,
and everyone around me was constantly sad.
i wondered why,
why do these things in life bring us all down,
i taught them of love,
and hoped you'd come around.
i told them our story,
and pretended i'd have you again,
i'm sorry for what we've been through,
but only sorry for everything at the end.
because the beginning was great,
i'm not a saint,
but i believed in you, in us and everything we've been through,
i believed in love and lust and complete trust,
i've been places,
you have too,
next time just promise,
you'll take me with you.

Its relentless
The way the tension must be broken
Through these words
Hard to know
That splitting even
Will now never work
It was selfish and regrettable
Yet I thought
That things could change
Unknowing of the inevitable
Blind to the truth
Raging in my head
Never was there a chance
It was always meant to be
An untouched polaroid picture
Lost in a unmarked box
That will never be obtained
Its difficult to acknowledge
After searching for the blame
As words have gone unspoken
Years have made a change
We can lavish in our castles
On the thrones of our successes
That make it seem
Like it was a dream
That never really happened
It wasn’t make believe
But was it real?
The seasons haven’t tarnished
The way it has all kept
It’s the silent burden of baggage
And all that is left unsaid
Its accepting that I can never drink
Another glass of that vintage red
And all that has been left
Is whiskey burning in my head

Sometimes I just wish I could hug you.
Like a sweet little novel I've been dying to read, I wish to read you, all over, front and back, spine to paper.
And yes, often times, I just wish I could wrap you up in a roll of oozing vanilla and breathe the moment in.
I wish I could tell you that you're worth more than the girl who left you standing on you front porch with a lingering love.
Sometimes, I wish that your eyes would softly rest upon mine and feel peace in knowing your life is not complete with her, but rather complemented, perhaps, with me.
Someday I wish you look at life's disappointments as a step towards greater and not a stand still of why's and why-not's.
And if you're willing, I would hope you sit and wish the same for me.

- Julia Aubrey Rhodes -

And i see you
as you walk
with your head held high
amongst them
shining of a light
that's all yours.
And i fall
even more
in love
cause you smile at me
as if you were a child
and i was made
of cotton candy.
You taste
and destroy me
with your endless sweetness
and intergalactic mouth
that makes us shine.
As you give up
the light
that was once yours
but that it's now
all ours.