You want to breathe my shadow?
You want to feel my rage?
You want to see me howl and roar like phantom wolves inside a cage?


They throw my body in cell,
I bare my teeth and grin.
They leave me where I tripped and fell but I remember
every
sin...
My eyes,
they stare,
my face is calm...
But creatures stir inside my veins...

If I let go of all control,
the fire of hell would swallow me whole.

What's this...?

But you my dear...
you wish to see,
the darkest parts I hide in me...
I find it strange,
I can't explain,
you choose to never turn and run.
You touch my lips and gently kiss
what burns like violence from the sun...

Well if you insist...

Show me your anger. Show me your rage.
Open my body,
page by page...
Give me wounds inside this cage.

Roar with my fear,
moan in my ear,
scream with me,
perhaps we'll see...
why your demons play so well with me...

Planets above and fathoms below,
I ask on the Empty, "Where should I go?"
Do I trust my compass, shall I break my clock?
Are there ways of guidance we've yet to unlcok?

One giant leap forward, two giant leaps back.
One foot nursing wounds, one prepared for attack.
I knock and I knock at the great wooden door
but the Empty is silent and I wonder for more.

My questions give silence and no answers are found
except words of heaven that make not a sound.

The planets and fathoms, they answer me not,
but somewhere has answered this pondering thought.


You can search far and wide, you can struggle and bleed,
but the answers your seeking aren't the answers you need.

I wanted to fill the cracks of his mind, and breathe his very breath. Need consumed by deep desire, leaving me scared to death.

I hung a rope on that tree, where I used to kneel and pray. Struggling to keep my head up, waiting for something he refused to say.

I wanted to slip and fall into arms, eager to break my fall. Scattered hopes cast about, that are just shadow puppets on the wall.

I cupped my hands to catch his tears, but the favor was never repaid. Slip the rope around my neck, in hopes to repair the mess I made.

I wasted all my saved up wishes, just in the end to tie the knot. I finally took that step and hang myself, with all the promises he forgot.

I was falling.
I knew that somehow my feet had tumbled over some sort of cliff but could not recognize the scenery nor how or when I had reached this peculiar predicament.
Along with the always present weightlessness of falling through the air, there bubbled within me another feeling; one I did not expect.
Apathy.
The blissful faux virtue of anhedonia that coursed through my veins like a venom; pumping with my slow heartbeat....
I fell in slow motion, giving time to muse on such things while the skies around me changed drastically from clear to cloudy, from wistful clouds to a menacing overhead growling.
I closed my eyes and smiled.
In the back of my eyes though appeared a hooded figured shrouded in black with only a slight sneer appearing through the visage. This figured caused the blissful venom to tighten and turn sharply into a fear that made me unable to breathe.
I screamed as I started falling faster and mouthed words that couldn't be understood.
Tears poured and fell upward like rain from a tormented ghost.
Just before the ground embraced me and swallowed everything I ever was or ever would be, time stopped and there was silence.
I opened my eyes and to my surprise, the blurry sight of two figures appeared. One emmitted a faint glow with a softness about him; a calming aura...
while the other gave me the feeling of power and rage; a darkness about him like a creature bearing teeth against the night.
In unison they whispered five words.
The blurriness faded and I gasped. They were both distorted caricatures of me.
In the blink of an eyes, I was yanked upward with a speed so fierce that perhaps my body would not be able to handle it. Through the stormy and the calming skies...

I woke up out of breath to the sound of an alarm clock screaming beside my bed.
I blinked a few times and sighed, recovering my breath...

"Don't give up on me...", I whispered.