I'm running out of breathe
My limbs are feeling weak
My heart begins to throb
An aching in my feet

My head it starts to spin
My eyes are slow to blink
A pounding in my temples
It's getting hard to think

My legs are cramping up
My arms are feeling sore
Tears are running hot
I'm falling on the floor

Pretending perfection
It's draining me quickly
Hard to recognize myself
I'm looking rather sickly

The energy it takes
to keep this smile in place
To hide my depression
I'll die at this pace

Your love is a cigarette,
burning with passion.
I breathe you in deeply,
watch white turn to ashen.

My stress disappears,
a temporary buzz.
You make me feel better,
your smile always does.

My lungs draw you in,
inhaling your air,
while telling myself
that you must really care.

I know I should quit.
You're bad for my health.
Your love's filled with toxins
that sneak up with stealth.

As soon as you're gone,
I'll crave you again.
Headaches and heartaches,
I need you again.

So light up another,
Until I get smarter,
old habits die hard,
bad habits die harder.

Last time I promise,
I can't keep this up.
You're killing my insides,
your love is corrupt

The longer I love you,
the more toxic you get.
I'm addicted to you
like my first cigarette.

This love is
crippling
I am nothing
Without you
Disabled
Missing a vital *****
My heart
Still beating
Ripped from my chest
Leave a wound
Leave a scar
For the world to see
That I am yours
I give you everything I am
This love
Tortures me
Tears apart my insides
Takes away my breath
A love so strong it terrifies me

"Hi how are you?"

Well, it took everything I had this morning
to get up and leave my bed
Don't ask me if I showered
or even brushed my teeth
My reflection shamed me in the mirror
Told me I am ugly
I am fat
Couldn't stand her harsh words
Fled the bathroom after that
No makeup, unbrushed hair
Threw on a wrinkled shirt
Can't explain how hard it was to walk out the door
My anxiety is crippling.
Keep my eyes down on the floor
I stay out of strangers' way
Hoping I'll get lucky
Please no one talk to me today.
I slipped into the bathroom
Don't look into Medusa's eyes
Pushed my fingers down my throat
I didn't deserve those fries.
Anxiety, depression, an eating disorder too
I'm not doing my best
but that's not what I'll tell you.

"Fine, thank you for asking."

I am losing myself
Everything is
crumbling
shattering
snd scattering.

Masks are coming off
Truth is coming to light.
Fake ones start to claim their identity
and people are leaving,
the ones I thought wouldn’t leave.

The light escapes me
and dull colors swift past me.

I have lost my care
I have lost my love
Lost my innocence
And lost my guilt.
Everything that made me, me
Is now gone.

So tell me,
is it me who you’re looking for?
Because that girl is breathing no more.

...But at night

My head is a radio tower

The thoughts and information bouncing off the walls of my mind

Front to back

Voices from different frequencies

Endlessly bombarding me.

Never stopping

Never ending.

.
.
.
.


And for the first time in my life

.
.
.


I find myself begging for a place

.
.
.

Where I don't get cell service.