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  Feb 2017 Caitlyn Emilie
Ma Cherie
clouds of linen stretch her skies,
changing depths of blue,
lovely is this -
her Earthrise,
she's something,
from my view,

I look at her
my lovely Earth,
and I,
her soulmate - Moon,
if she shall perish,
so will I,
I hope tho not too soon,

I wonder what inhabits her,
of what's alive out there,
I wonder what she thinks of them,
or if no time to care,

she was designed just perfectly,
a gift in her to give,
sadly took for granted she,
in ignorance can't live,

I wonder if her people know,
the sacred of her planet,
or if destruction comes in flames,
to fight it or to fan it,

they must know
somewhere within,
she's beautiful but dying,
I hope this not the last Earthrise
I hear her gently sighing,
then a thunder roars within,
on knees -
alone,
she's crying,

Hear my voice my sacred people
I'm wounded, I cannot fight
will you hear my final call
before the last goodnight ?

Ma Cherie © 2017
Started writing this about the Earthrise photo and then just became that vantage point. It made me cry ;/ love you guys ❤
Caitlyn Emilie Jan 2017
I feel so broken and so paper thin.

I wish I had the mentality to feel even a tiny sting.

These blades they lie and shout evil things.

I want to run away to you but I lost my wings.

Now the devil hangs on my shoulder and tells me to do evil things.

Darkness and despair infiltrate my blood and cloud my mind.

I realize now they brought me something I didn't know I was trying to find.
2 weeks clean now
Caitlyn Emilie Jan 2017
So sleep deprived, yet I still can't seem to sleep.

Thoughts about you and I course through my veins and wash over me.

Memories flood my eyes, provoking tears to stain my cheeks.

This distance.

This heartache.

Plummeting me into the ground.

Stabbing at my heart with vicious intentions.
Been a while since I put words on paper. Played with this concept tonight.
Caitlyn Emilie Jan 2017
I think I loved him before we even met.

I think I knew him before our eyes spotted each other.

In another lifetime possibly or perhaps just destiny bringing us happiness at last.



I think we are soulmates.

I think we were brought together for a reason.

In this lifetime, perhaps it might not be long enough, for no time with you could ever be enough.
Caitlyn Emilie Dec 2016
All of his things still sit where he left them the day that he left.

His button down shirt neatly folded on the top of my dresser.

I can never get myself to wear it because it smells like him and I'm afraid it'll lose its scent.

I can't use his shower gel anymore because what once was a happy smell now makes me cry.

I miss him every single day and every single night has ended with me crying.

I need him to come back.

Life is harder without him.
Life is tough right now guys 8,(((( hopefully 2017 is a far better year.
Caitlyn Emilie Dec 2016
He awoke to find her missing from the left side of the bed, worry taking over him as he quickly got up. his head spinning because he was half asleep.

He saw the bright light emitting from beneath the bathroom door then heard loud clanking before quiet tears began to fill the sound of the hall.

His brows knit in stress, anxiously gripping the door **** and fiercely twisting it with hopes it would open, but to his dismay it was locked.

His fists had a mind of their own as they began to pound on the bathroom door, tears streaming down his face because this was a night he had lived a couple times before.

His voice raspy from all his tears and lack of breath screamed out for her to let him in, to stop what she was doing, and listen to him.

She sat naked on the floor of the bathroom thinking about everything like she always did, thoughts racing through her mind so fast, even coursing through her blood.

Looking down at every single insecurity, every single thing she hated about herself and her body, wanting so badly to see what he loved about her and these things.

She held the scissors to her thigh, the ones she had managed to find, the ones that he had hid on her after all the other times.

Tears streaming down her face hearing him outside, her hands shaking from how hurt and betrayed his screams sounded, how loud his fists were pounding.

She took the first sharp slit across her skin then took another two, tears continuing to well in her eyes as the blood began to seep down along her knee.

She filled the bath tub with cold water and shook as she got into it, bringing her knees to her chest and hugging them as she cried.

The freezing water was a way to punish herself for what she had done to herself, but mostly for what she had done to him once again after she promised last time was it.

He kept pounding at the door, getting angrier and angrier at the uncertainty of what she was doing to herself, if he was going to lose her once more.

He kicked at it hard with his bare foot, wincing in pain as he punched at the same time, the door soon giving way from all the force and falling loose from its frame.

Relief filled his whole body as he quickly pushed through, nearly stepping on the bloodied scissors lying on the floor.

His eyes still tear filled saw her shaking in the bath tub, running to her before engulfing his arms around her freezing cold body and grabbing a towel to get some blood flow back to her body.

Her lips were purple, her skin covered in goosebumps, her arms wrapped around his neck as she cried into his chest.

His breathing quickened when he saw the fresh cuts on her thighs, still red with blood.

He sat down on the floor where she had sat a couple minutes before and rocked her in his arms, protectively holding her and keeping her warm.

He kissed her all over her face before running his finger over the skin of her thigh, putting bandaids over her cuts before telling her how much he loved her and how worried he had been.

He told her how he couldn't lose her and that he loved everything she couldn't see, then carried her back to bed where she would be safe and warm in his embrace.

Another night he had saved her.

Another night he had almost lost her.

Another night he'd be up worrying and wondering what he would ever do without her and why he couldn't help her.
Something I thought about after I showered so I pieced together a semi poem/story. Other than the self harm with scissors, none of these events have happened before. They are just fiction.
Caitlyn Emilie Dec 2016
Please come here, come back to me, and lay with me beneath these sheets.

Soothe me from these scary thoughts and bring peace to my sanity.

You feel even further away from me and I need you to help me breathe.

You are my home and I'm homesick because you're a thousand miles away.

Praying that Santa has you sat in the back of his sleigh to bring me joy on Christmas Day.

All I want this year is you.

For you are the only thing I have in my life that is true.
in bed anxiously awaiting Santa! So excited for Christmas, but however I really miss my love. Holidays without him really ****.
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