Have you not been what you should be,
   as a husband, father and dad?
Have you not been any leader
   failing My God, oh so bad?

Have you said you will on one day,
   then the next you really won't?
Have you hurt the ones who love you,
   hanging with the ones who don't?

Have you pushed away your family
   with the hateful words you said?
Have you spoken words in anger,
   then run out the door and fled?

Have you seen the hurt you've caused them,
   had a son who wished you're there?
Have you once had to console her,
   when your daughter cried those tears?

Have you held her tight in loving arms,
   when wife had one bad day?
Have you crushed her heart again,
   'cause she knew you wouldn't stay?

Have you failed your son and daughter,
   with the sinful life you live?
Have you ever thought about just
   what your wife has had to give?

Have you opened up your eyes now,
   put your self aside to pause?
Have you felt their broken hearts from
   all the hurt and pain you caused?

Have you reached the very end now,
   of the sinful life you trod?
Have you seen your family needs you;
   not to late, just turn to God!

Have you asked My God forgiveness?
   Yes, the broken hearts He'll ease.
Have you shown them what He's done now,
   filled you full of joy and peace?

Have you gotten back your family,
   fought so hard for ones who care?
Have you prayed to God above you,
   for His love with them to share?

Have you called on Him to help you,
   your relationship repair?
Have you now seen it's important
   to your family if your there?

my subject, mrs. ((brown?))
for this speech is
going to be: obesity. ish.

you see I remember
the article you handed out to us,
loos-leafed,
fresh-pressed,
a dry white piece that told,
in simplest terms,
the most inarguable & bland facts
about !healthy eating & !weight loss!

but mrs ((whatever)), I want
to tell n and the entire
******* crisp class,
that obesity is a load
of steaming ****
from someone who’s really fucki
ng sick (you know how much
better it stinks then)

that obesity
was made to be glorified,
I don’t tell you this—
I ****** jiggle it to you,
grab my santa clause puch and
shove it at you--

tick tock
we wait for the clock
to tell us what
s to come,
except it makes us guess

--see this:
a mid-age woman, mother,
fat & previously fat,
goes in for stabbing pain in the chest, or
chronic diarrhea,
seeing stars & no energy left.
((this happens))
the doctor says,

well let’s weigh you n see
if you’ve lost
the weight I told you to lose before
remember Sharol

now Sharol..,,,, sweety…..
you weigh 55.62 lbs over the
state-set “healthy limit”k,
so we’re just gonna give u these
diet pills & I promise they work,.
all nach-yer-awl u see, none of that
waterweight ******* [! excuse my language]

and in about 3 months you’ll lose
half that overweight,
and I promise the starsll go away and you’ll
feel right tip top okay now that’ll be
$60 & come bac k in a month to tell me
how much you’ve lost okay

haha but that’s alrightright?
she was unhealthy
&
doctors make you healthy

only her brain cancer maybe, or like, colon
cancer or literally anything other obesity

kills her in about 3 months
bc the **** doctor would only
pretend that she cared
what
was
wrong with Sharol, sweety…,,,

im sharol and so are you and
so is your uncle & so is
your mother, probably
because most of us are “obese”

& the only cure for obesity
is the cure for the term
“obesity” you see

There lies a picture on the mantle
of my grandfather, my step-father's
father, clad in U.S. Navy fatigues
and grinning slightly, almost a
smirk. The year is 1960-something
as he enlists for Vietnam and is
shipped overseas on the USS
Corral Sea to load sidewinders
into fighter planes that ignite and
****. It happens so fast.

It happened so fast. Two months
of time reduced to blinks and
minute-long visits. This house could
be cold as Mt. Meru's peak and I
would hardly notice. The brain has
ways of placing things on autopilot.

His life has come to pass and I am
left to wonder. I am not sure I ever
truly knew the man. I heard stories,
his helicopter shot down in Vietnam,
his E&E; north of the ** Chi Minh and
how he owned a gun shop on Main
St. in the town I came to call home
before it was my home. I cannot hear
his whispering, small wind of existence
sidewinding away from me and my
youthfulness. In small time I've come
to find life is meaningful if you take time
to make it so.

The day of his funeral is beautiful,
sunny and mild and full of breeze.
The gas tank of my mother's car is
close to empty and I am worried of
worldly things, will we make it and
when can we fill up again. 21 guns
gives my heart a needed beating.

I once slept knowing you loved me
I could breathe and you would notice
While my chest rose with a full heart
You touched my hair without malice

Now time passes without a hint of promise
We spoke the other nightbut then you left
The way it was is like a movie to me now
I started to watch but I already know the rest

Knowing how you love is not a sad story
It's just life and everybody lives like that
I thought maybe something was still there
But those mountains roads are now flat

I walked the streets of a strange town
It's me now who makes them walk away
Mourning love covers me like a veil
Morning suns shine hope for another day

i'm writing this because i would like to have a
better answer when i'm asked,
"why did you do that to yourself?"

because i was learning, because i was small
because i tried to do too much on my own.
i didn't know what a mistake was,
and i didn't know they were okay

i did that to myself because i wasn't sure who i was,
but i didn't like her.
(do you like to hurt, i do, i do, hurt me)
i did that to myself because i was cold and hurting,
i wanted love but i was empty--
i broke myself down into a shell, battered and lonely
and waiting for someone who would never come back

i prayed for poison oak, stitches and drug overdoses
i wanted to die from the inside out, i wanted to
do it myself
and maybe someone would realize how sorry i was

Once thin skinned like orchid petals all
frustration was mistaken for tears.
Then resilience took over so to cry
only having the feeling of no amend.

So far bones resounded metal cold,
lack of nearness is not about fears
but to save weeping for better times,
trying to roll over any sign of dead-end.

Whether eyes or not drops come from
They're salty stories and may reveal
promises made to oneself but unkept in life
like the notion tears fall not at our command.

Abandon.

Such a beautiful thing is a shell,
floating it sings 'tho half-empty,
sculptured for strength in excess
of accents or patterns an ecstasy
with wave-lovers has undressed
its close-partnered togetherness.

Oh shell of beauty, gone forever
your wholeness but in a sea-bed
still white your glisten measures
pace with the breakers in restless
dance of sheer abandon even yet.

Some take cover from the rain,
But I know better.
I let it cleanse my
Grime-encrusted skin,
Layers upon layers of sin.  
I’ve tried to occult my faults,
But the rain knows better,
For it penetrates my guise with
Surprising ease, disarming me.
Bare skin exposed and I quiver
As eyes examine every sliver
Of who I am.
Soaked body with nature’s balm
Glistens when a ray of sunlight
Splits the gray clouds, as if
Assuring me redemption.
Some retreat when gray clouds approach,
But I know better.
My character, tempest-tossed,
Scintillates when the sun comes out.