The friend request. There it was.
The gods must have sent it.
Here I am, two weeks in the past,
Staring dreamily into a picture of you.
Those eyes, garnished with thick dark eyelashes,
Staring deeply into someone you’ve never met.
That jet black hair. Shadowy curtains,
Keeping your heart-shaped face safe.
But those lips. Painted with pure blood daily.
The most inviting fruit before my own eyes.
Yours is a beauty I have only seen in French cinema.
Like Audrey Tatou, ordering in a restaurant,
With a smile of pure inviting mischief.
And I imagine…oh I imagine…
Am I ready to break this wasteland?
The scorching desert that is alone?
I can almost smell her foreign perfume.
But she is merely pixels upon a screen.
You snap out of it, son.

And lo, the friend request.
My stomach leaps as I click ‘accept’.
She types. She compliments.
I compliment. We chat.
We exchange clips of Led Zeppelin.
She sends me gothic rock.
Moody and dark. The blackest of music.
I am never wearing colours again.
And I take the leap. I type some x’s and some o’s.
And she types them back.

Let us meet.
Where do we meet in this god-forsaken town?
Coffee. Easy. Neither formal nor gritty.
Just enough class, just enough mediocrity.
And she sways across the floor and greets me.
Her dress is of vintage design and flowing beauty.
Her glasses project her gaze into mine.
Ordering coffee, sitting with her chin resting on her hand.
Her smile is as warm as the sun.
Is she Mia Wallace? Is this Pulp Fiction?
My witty remark is quite crude and depicts violence.
A normal girl would shudder and frown.
She loves it. She loves that sort of thing.
This was lovely. Let us do it again sometime.

Next minute, we’re kissing passionately in amongst the bamboo.
She cares not for my bristles. In fact she likes it.
Her lipstick gets destroyed. She cares not.
So much drive for a ******.
We’re a secret. No one shall know.
She messages me. Tells me she is still drunk on me.
What we have is otherworldly.
Are we two aliens, a race from a far-off land?
Destined to be together? The last of our kind?

We touch, we caress. We burn CDs.
Trip hop, soul orchestras and shoegaze.
Hand-written burnt CD track listings.
The fact that she has written each word
Brings warmth. It creeps up from my stomach
And my arms can’t help but engulf her little frame.
She calls me a genius.
She loves every single note I play, every word I write.
I am a god to her. She adores me. And I her.
She watches me lovingly on the stage.
And before she boards the train home
I tell her. Three words.
I love you.
It’s the truth. And she loves me back.
Was it too early to tell her this? No, surely not.

Our love creeps and crawls up the stone wall.
An overgrown vine of pleasure and euphoria.
Kiss me hard, push your face so hard into mine.
It’s time. Relax. Just go with it.
Olive skin, so soft. Cover me with you.
Nothing can stop our intergalactic empire.
I stand atop an interstellar battlefield of victory,
With you at my side, my Queen.
If I could just float around space in a bubble
With you my dear, I would be happy
For an eternity.

And you say you’re leaving.
You don’t want it to change us.
It won’t, I promise.
You must further yourself by any means.
Broaden your horizons.
I will still love you to death.
I promise.
And away you fly, off into the sunset.

The phone calls start. You’re in a bad way.
An alien in a strange city, on your own.
What’s going on? The choice has been made.
Think of the money. Can you back out now?
Not just for me, surely. Stick it out.
That’s it, you’re coming back.

And through the drizzle, the plane lands.
You’re back.
In a leather jacket and black dress. My love.
I kiss you like I used to.
But it isn’t like it used to be.
Wait, no. No no no.
What has happened?
My stomach hurts. This pain is excruciating.
Piranhas are attacking my insides.
Make them stop.
The tears burn. I stifle them for days and days.
And finally they fall. What the ****?
It’s gone. It’s just gone.
We sit together. I glance over at your frightened eyes.
I am a murderer, waiting around the corner,
Sharpening my knife for the ****** in the alleyway.
We must end. I don’t know why.
The feeling’s gone. I can’t explain it.
This was like an epic jouney.
I thought it would never end.
You were perfect.
You were badass. You were kickass.
You were beautiful.
You were amazing.
You adored me. You loved me.
You were perfect.
We were perfect.
I loved you.

Now I don’t.

What?

J.A.W. 19/10/11 1:20 AM

Charlie and Jasmine fell in love at first sight
They did everything together until the dead of night
After dinner they went in the living room to dance
Laughing and smiling while trying to hold hands
They were both in each others arms by the end of the song
They stayed that way until the early morn

Charlie and Jasmine were so meant to be
He opened a small box as he knelt on one knee
When jasmine looked and saw the beautiful ring
She said i do before he asked what will it be
He jump to his feet and gave her a kiss
Now there together forever with happieness and bliss

Charlie and Jasmine lived a long happy life
They always held hands and smiled until the time had sailed by
As they died together they smiled and held on tight
Then they souls went together to spend forever in blissful light

this hour of smoke and mist,
stay still, for all the stars
glittering here and the moon
sliding down your back
bare to horizon worlds

pressed to my *****
the vast sky glowing
in unnumbered mysteries

soaking in the fragrance
as dew settles by your hair
this surly hour
flowing over your throbbing
heart, soft as the breeze

streaming silent by the curtains
unfurled, the sailboat of our lives
on dreamy waters

let them cease, creations
of the faltering mind
dissolve, all the sensations,

cupped to an ancient warmth
lives lived of long whose lights
reach us now
here, I hold you, to the
rhythm of timelessness

Santa does not visit psych wards. No matter how many times I frequent the hospital around the holidays, St. Nick is nowhere to be found, albeit some nights Jesus Christ's screams fill the halls throughout the night, this baritone of madness slowly becoming a gentle hum that helps me drift off. The chorus in my head sings along to this hymn of psychotic fervor.

You were my rock
Already laden with gulls and mermaids
And I was a wandering ship
My headwind weaving into your nooks and smoothing grooves along your chipped and chiselled face

We were a force that couldn't be reckoned with
The quiet breeze of a butterfly's wings
Catching and cooling
As the tide lapped and rose
Falling sharply away when it tasted the shoreline

The storm that gathered held distant
But its rhythm persisted in your lands
Small truths you'd held in place with busy times
Began to fracture
Splintering and splitting
There was no place that was not moved by thunder

The rope that bound us began to fray
Drawn taut and heavy, untended and laden with salt water

Tearing at the snags and sharpened juts
It eventually snapped
And I sailed onwards
While my anchor lay rusting
In the crannies of your lonely bed

Frozen in bed
Buried beneath the weight of dread
Unable to break the covers
Unable to meet my feet to the ground
Unable to face the world of lies
I just want to stay here
In bed
Forever
I see her
When I close my eyes
My dreams have become my reality
She feels real
Her breath
Warm on my neck
Her hands
Soft on my face
Her body
Curled around mine
I don't want to be anywhere else
I want to be lost here
Please don't wake me up

A life tastes so much greener
as my legs are unsheathed
like waves that cut
our ring-spun,
gossamery
teasing
continuum
and (to the mole in the milk of your thigh: I widow in desire)
continuum
tickling
your cheeky
ribs into gravity
like the galaxy grains
of orbit that had screamed
into life echoing so much deeper.

at times, the
  urge to give in, to
possess the incendiary second wind
          
erupts like a vice

we need more simple things
   the kind that quietly persuade
   us full of earth and sky