I can smell
the soft floral remanence
of blue hyacinths in bloom.
The smell lingers everywhere.
It reminds me of you.
How you always smelled
so sweet,
like you'd just had a bath
with fresh lavender,
and rose petals swimming
all around you,
gathering at your feet.
I miss that smell,
almost as much as I miss you.
It's been a long time
since I've thought about you.
I've pushed you from my mind,
from my scarred up heart.
It's better that way,
keeping those memories
locked up inside me.
It took a long time
to stitch together
the pieces,
after you so carelessly
ripped my heart apart.
I'll always resent you for that.
I'll always love you for it too,
and whenever those hyacinths
are in full bloom
outside my window
I'll think of you,
of how much I loved you,
and for just a moment
I'll feel a touch
of the hyacinth blues.

And it was all at once I knew that she never loved me.
It wasn't because of spite and it wasn't because she never tried,
It just was
She thought she did,
But love is elusive and it's easy to love someone in parts,
And in parts she loved me well,
Until I fell to pieces
And then it came,
The I can't do this, the I's in her eyes
And I knew she didn't know,
I wanted to be angry,
Because I loved her with all of me
But she only loved me with pieces.
And maybe one day she'll know
I truly hope so,
But for now I'll remember the pieces.