I want to eat a tub of ice cream,
Make folks wonder where it went;
And gorge on so much junk
I look just like the president!
I want to slam three layer cakes
Like they were made of air,
And I get so stinking big
You can see me everywhere!

Eat, eat, eat until I'm perfectly round;
Why bother walking when I can roll all around?
Munch, munch, munch all day and all night;
I'm going to be huge so there’s no need to fight.
Chomp, chomp, chomp, chew a pizza or two;
And a couple bags of chocolate chip cookies too!
Triple cheese burger large fries and drink;
Go get as full as a tick, don’t bother to think.

You might as well accept it
I want what I want all of the time
And if I don’t get my way
I consider that a personal crime.
All you can eat joints feel like my own home;
When I get done I'll be shaped like a dome!
Buffalo wings for happy hour, maybe twenty
And beer by the pitcher, I can drink plenty.

Eat, eat, eat until I'm perfectly round;
Why bother walking when I can roll all around?
Munch, munch, munch all day and all night;
I'm going to be huge so there’s no need to fight.
Chomp, chomp, chomp, chew a pizza or two;
And a couple bags of chocolate chip cookies too!
Triple cheese burger large fries and drink;
Go get as full as a tick, don’t bother to think.

Don’t bother to lecture me on my gastronomy
Sure, people are starving way far away.
I am helping here at home with our economy
And I'm doing it every day.
Talking about starvation makes me want to
Eat more than ever I did yeseterday, besides,
So that kind of argument is just wasted on me
Since I don’t find it all that wise!

My god told me
To **** those who are different.
My god told me
That genocide is efficient.
"Go into their land
And **** every living creature."
I saw it on TV just last week
In a Technicolor double feature.

My god told me
Gay people are abomination
My god told me
To hold back children’s rations.
Rip babies out of parent’s arms
Because they are terrorists
Pay no attention to the heartache
That’s just how my god’s law is.

My god told me
It matters about the color of skin
People can be born inhuman
Depending on the country you’re in.
It’s not as bad to be a dark person
If you stay in dark people lands,
But here in the good old USA they
Only deserve to be migrant hands.

My god told me
What’s sin for other people to do
Is not a sin for me to commit
The criminal things done by you.
My god told me
It’s just fine to cheat on my wife.
As long as I go to church weekly,
I will have a wonderful, godly life.

My god told me
Other people have to wrong idea
About who is god and who is not
And who will burn with the devil
In some place below, where it’s hot.
My god told me
To worship no god but him, it’s true.
Well, I worship Jesus, his misnamed son
So, I’m going to heaven, aren’t you?

Love ******
What else can I say?
Addicted to love
I’ve always been that way.
It’s an actual fact
Not just the way I act.
It’s the way I feel
And every word is real.

All should accept it
I take every single chance
Whenever I think this
Is the time for romance.

Yes, love can make me
Act like a monkey in a zoo
But trust me when I say
For me it’s nothing new.
I am totally enraptured
Like I’m as high as a kite
Each time I get captured
Happy all day and night.

All should accept it
I take very single chance
Whenever I think this
Is the time for romance.

I’ve been with those
For whom it’s all just play
And while it can be fun
I’m just not made that way.
It’s not about appearance
They can be thin or chunky
The point is that I am
An unrepentant love ******.

My car won’t work,
I’m totally *******!
It’s acting totally rude;
Imbued with a bad attitude.
Like a metal horse
That needs to be shoed
It’s behavior is almost lewd
Waiting around for a rich guy
To come and be the dude
I checked to see if the problem is
Lack of water or life-giving crude,
Oil that is, Texas tea.
It’s silly to expect wealth of me
Always broke, an automotive joke.

All I can do is sit and croak
Like the frog on a log spoke
And since my car chose to croak
I gave my mechanic a poke.
He decided my wallet was too full.
Now I’m in the thrall of a lull
With too much idle time to ****.
I’ll pay the bill, I know I will,
But still, this whole thing is a pill.
It’s not that I hate holding still,
It’s just that I have so few frills
And this is financially uphill.
I will make it work somehow
But for now, it’s back to the plow
That I’ll pull but don’t know how.
A result of the here and the now.

I may just be whining, not sure
But I see no ready-made cure
For now my sense of loss is pure
And there may be no sinecure.
I just have to grin and endure.
I walk and I wait and I cuss
Waiting for the ever-late bus
To ride with other unfortunates.
At least I’m not on a date
And being embarrassed to state
The case of my pauperish state.
Really, none of this is great.

I want to be the sunshine
In my own world today.
I want to shine on everyone
Who passes my way.
I want to be the breezes
That cool my own brow
I want to share that knowledge
That now that I know how.

I want to be the spring
In my own blessed year.
I want to see the joy on
Everyone who comes near.
I want to share the laughter
That comes from living free.
I want everyone to be glad
They happen to have met me.

I want to see if I can help
Make the world a better place.
I want to see serenity
In every person’s face.
I want to spread love and hope
To everyone I meet or know.
I want to do this every day
For the next century or so.

Yes, I want to live a long time
And do what I can to make
The world have a great picnic
By a peaceful calming lake.
I want to hear music play from
People I pass on the street.
I want to know people are glad
That their life has been so sweet.

She sits in her room
Beside her lonely loom
And dreams of times of grace
And suitors come to her place.
But no one has come here,
So she sings the songs
Of being alone too long.

None will come so near
That she needs to flirt.
Instead she gathers her hurt
And weaves it into tapestries
Of such stunning majesty
That only she will applaud,
Because there is no god
That will transform her to be
A lady of famous beauty.

She never has known why
She was born forbiddingly shy.
She fears to speak and convince,
Always she is prone to wince
Instead of smiling and inviting.
Her lovely pale face whitening
With dread she cannot speak
And that makes her feel weak.

The sun rises and it sets
She has nothing to regret
Or to remember gladly
But sadly she has grown
Comfortable being alone
Since  the pain is remembered
And she never delivered
From the roaring noise
Of life without love’s joys.

He’s an evil despot, tall and stout.
Call him a liar, watch him pout.
We want an impeachment to throw him out
Then we can line up and punch his snout.

He’s a changing despot, not much brains
He’d look better all trussed in chains
Then we could put Hillary in what remains
As she pulls all of us out of the drain.

Lying despot told us that he would make
Changes to drain the political lake.
Like most of his promises, it was fake
All he does is cheat and lie and take.

Lying pudgy despot claims he’s slim.
Not the last of the lies from him.
Feels he’s entitled to every greedy whim.
Every day in office it gets more grim.

Dizzy dippy teapot, lives for applause,
Just like a fat cat, he licks his paws.
Gobbling McDonalds bloats his jaws.
Millions of his minions support his cause.

Dumping Donnie Teapot a good solution
For a dangerous hater of the Constitution.
Let’s all get make a mid-year resolution
To run him off before there’s revolution.