Once again, I put paper to pen
I think of all the times I've wanted to quit
But there was still a rhyme scheme in my head
And oppritunity in bright seductive red

Off in the distance, but I can see it
Its only interested in poets with cranial diseases
It knows of self doubts and coyly plays
Among the pink labyrinth of our brains

She is beautiful and rare
She is destructive and snares
But she is momentum and change
A swinging gate of every phase

Smile in the mirror to show yourself you're happy
Faking self esteem only gets you so far
But I can tell you what its like when you are laughing
You'll never see how beautiful you truly are

Isn't it strange when someone smiles genuinely
And you'll feel your lips move involuntarily
There's this connection made
When happiness invades

It is war
A kitchen full of hungry guest
An audience of folks ready for experience in the physical sense
You sweat, bleed, love, and hate

It is sharing
In the most obvious state
Of emotion garnished on the plate
A lit cigarette on your break

It is satisfaction
Knowing you gave it all
Or at least pretending when the orders fall
Letting your instincts flow when you stall

It is passion and peer review
A drink with "The Family" after all is through
And each pint brings you closer to
A recollection of a memory

I need a confessional
So won't you listen to me
Cause I've had one too many to drink
And I'm not so sure
If this is what you would think
But its time I fell on my knees

And gave it all to someone
Who may not even care
And tonight you'll be that someone
Whose patience I dare

Yes I'm aware
That this is so selfish
But now was when it all came out
And I'm aware
That you don't really know who I am
But I'm ready for us to begin

The wind whistles
Here I am, me and my consciousness
Watching an old movie outside of common sense
I love you and I always have

I want to see if we can connect the old wiring
Let the electricity flow through the vein
It seems when I drink my words are more fluid
But here I am stuttering again

I won't do this any more
You can't make me want it
You can't make me need it
And the shakes got worse

I might do this some more
If you can make me want it
If you can make me need it
And I'm so terrified

Of what's to come
And how it was
Before you left
And all the voices collapse inside my head

They scream out
"This is your escape"
"This was something you made"
Its tragically beautiful, and clinically insane

But so are you
And you can stop wanting
And you can stop needing
And you can finally be free