First day of first grade
Learning my a ,b, c's
But still had velcro shoes
Knew my colors and numbers
So I was a know it all
Untill that bell rung
Found out something that changed everything
Tommy told Timmy and he whispered it to me
I never been so scared
It was the worst ever
Before mom could stop and aginest the teachers ordes
I was at her car door
MOM I GOT THE COOTIES
I GOT COOTIES
Being over dramatic she says
No not the big C son
It's the cooties mom
Pulled into the driveway and she leans to me
Cooties ain't real and girls are not a disease
It's ok to be friends with everybody
But just incase I'll give you a cootie shot
Circle circle dot dot....

First day of sixth grade
New clothes, new shoes
I felt grown and so cool
Laughing with friends at lunch when I hear
Can I sit here
I turned mute so I just noded my head
This girl was god sent
Tongue tied and in love
Feeling nervous and starting to sweat
She talked and I tried
She asked questions
All I could do was smile
Didn't notice my mom waiting holding up the line
Gave one word answers to her hundred questions
Pulled into the driveway
MOM I HAVE A CRUSH ON A GIRL
She gasped
No not another case of the big c
Looking back it was funny but I was to nervous to laugh
Explained how I thought she was to pretty for me
Out of my league
Pulled in the he driveway And she leans over
Nobody will ever be to much of a good thing for you
Show the confidence that you hold in
Besides what's the worst that can happen
You make a cute friend
But just incase your still uncertain
Make sure tomorrow the seat next to you is empty again

Freshman year
Can't believe first day of high school
Beginning of my last four years
Spent the summer trying out for the baseball team
Basketball second period
Coach Sims told me good chance I would make the varisty team
My head grew bigger and my walk changed too
Seen April and I walked right up
Asked her to homecoming
My God she said yes
The greatest day ever
Seen mom in line
Couldn't wait so I ran
Begin explaining everything
Making the team, the dance, basketball
Not taking a breath till we got home
Pulls in the driveway and I'm halfway out when I noticed
She only responded with a smile
I turned back and see tears in her eyes
I lean over and wrap my arms around her
Mom don't start lying to me now
Tell me what's wrong
What she said next was the hardest words had ever hit me......
Son I have the big C

I sit here watching the world go by
Trying to figure out how and why
Grown man crying like a child
Without a clue and a dollar
Stole food to feed my daughter
I'm fighting hard not to pull the trigger
A worthless man with a loving soul
But his actions causes others to be blind
He ain't asking for much
But he been asking for so long
They don't even bother to answer
as they stroll on
***** with a smell  
No chance of anybody  inviting him in
Last nights temperature was forty two
Used his cardboard sigh to start a fire
Little girl needed heat
Then he rocked little girl to sleep

Fresh new day
Fresh new start
Fresh new outfit and shoes for the kids headed back to school
Then theirs her
Asking why as smoke from smoldering ashes fill the sky
He's left completely hating life
Feeling like **** he can't provide
Mad at his wife for dying to soon
Cussing his ex boss for laying him off
Worked twenty one years and never knew
How close he was from living in the streets  
Reality hits hard
Wraps his arm her as he kisses her forehead
Whispers baby it will get better
I promise you  
With a smile she answers
I know daddy
Because your superman

How great it would be for the ending to be happy
But in this case it ain't happening
Out one morning begging for food, work or something to help them by
When an argument with a ******* woman, who was tired of seeing these bums around, went bad fast
She called the cops
Screaming she's been attacked
No marks, no blood, no witnesses
Yet he sits at 33rd street
Time ticking by and it's turning dark
With no options he let's them know
DCF picked her up
State handed him another case
Judge ordered eight years as he slammed that hammer
Stood silent in tears seeing her image clear
I love you and please forgive me he says
Before making it four steps from where that judge sat
Thirty seconds and four bullets later his life ended

Three beeps as regular programming was interrupted
Everybody stops to hear
A Homeless man who forced his daughter to sleep in the woods and brutally attacked a woman  was shot and killed in a courtroom today
Everybody but that ten year girl
All she heard was
Your dad is dead
Tune in at 6 for more on this story

I see the hand moving on that clock
I hear my name being mentioned
I can tell the sun is setting and darkness is rolling in
I smell the rain on the way
Hear the wind blowing leaves off the tree
I comprehend what everyone is saying

But I

I must be dead
Cause I can still feel your touch
Holding my hand
Whispering how you love me so much
As you kiss my forehead

The flashing lights
The loud sirens
Cops rolling out tape
From a distance I hear
Live on the scene where theirs one confirmed fatality

Unable to move from the brace around my head
I began to yell letting you know I'm alright
No need to cry
Just an accident and it's ok
I'm sorry about our date tonight
As they load me I believe you respond with

I'll be right behind you dear
For me not to worry
Everything will work itself out

Then I opened my eyes
Three paramedics was all I seen
Nothing would keep you from being by my side
So i must be dead
Theirs no reason why
I wouldnt feel your touch
But just in case I held back the tears
Though I already knew
I must be dead

Today makes one year
I sit in this empty house that we once shared
Doctors said I'm fully healed
Just have to live with this broken heart
I miss you

I'm just glad I got to say goodbye
You'll never know
Cause you were getting in a long limousine
That read
Just married on the back window
I was stopped at the light
When I noticed this beautiful bride coming down those stairs
She had tears in your eyes
Just like I had in mine
I asked God what did I do
You ever been happy and heartbroken at the same time
As you drove off that's when I knew

I been here all along
I was just dead to you
Never will I feel your touch
Feel your body against mine
I'll never wake up staring at you by my side
So truth be told
I might as well be
What's worth living for
If I'm dead to you

I just need one
One gun to hold one bullet
One finger to pull one trigger
One hit to to take off one side of your face
Taking your family's one chance to say goodbye away
One memory so every year I can celebrate
Maybe get me a one tear tatto
Falling off one eye of one happy man
Take one minute to pump one fist in the air
As you lay I'll take one picture
So when that one day comes that I hear your kid say he don't remember
I'll give him the chance to never forget
I just need one gun for one chance to get revenge
I lost my one son because of one man with one gun