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b mafika May 2016
to loneliness i seem
bound: it gave me
a soft kiss on the cheek
one night, then just as I could make out its face
scuttled off and I chased
and it hid, within me,
and I chase.
"come out come out
wherever you are"
, i shout
with the child-like playfulness
sawn off my bones once-upon-a-time
but loneliness feels like it's everywhere
     and the lonely are everywhere
     if one sees being nowhere as a place

my calls turn into a fluttering
fading echo bouncing
off these four walls i'm locked
between, a timbre that I taste
with my ears, and my tongue - bitten
for too long - tries to carve out
a new heart for itself
this time not out of stone.
b mafika May 2016
Cool breeze ***** the line.
Words dry under the sun
as I wave goodbye.
b mafika May 2016
O* fragrant wind float
a flower from Frida's hair
into my heart's crown.
first try
b mafika Apr 2016
Spent the evening
in the restaurant, surreptitiously looking
at distant women between the heads of men
  Games ensued
when I caught some
looking at me
     The eyes are important
     in the connections of us
     I flicked mine: this
     and that way:
tipsy slur in the way I threw the eyes
and the women I was playing with,
like I, playing and talking and playing
the people we were talking to had no clue;
the waitrons waited, the chefs never waiting;
no one had a clue.

Suddenly came a wave,
once silent in the sea of feeling,
and took energy
from every current before its time
then in one great sweep
swooped me and the sand of my spirit,
shaken like a potent drink,
to quake and proclaim to myself:
  There are so many women in the world
much more than men
for so much beauty
how can one ever be committed to only one?

     Always too* patient
I am then they are gone
to live again in my thoughts
resurrected as regret;
I pay for these evenings:
with unquenchable eyes,
with the big-chested wave collapsing into foam,
with the promise of love -
with myself.
This is what life is
to those who wait too* long:
all one ever kissed were eyes
while the ocean erupts
within the chalice of vulnerability
one's lips tremble from a safe distance;
but love never was the dying wave at one's feet.
b mafika Apr 2016
Positivity is a wave
which sweeps the surface;
laps at my feet
to then melt
like i did at my mother's
by the fireplace in winter,
then disappear
much like the fireplace
and her warm feet.

Anxiety also lies close to the shore;
it is the wave that throws itself
against the rocks.
I am the rock.
b mafika Mar 2016
I listen to your music,
look at your art,
become jealous;
wishing someone
could love me
the way you love
her, wishing someone
could write a song about me,
paint a picture of my smile;
rationale
in a long sentence
unwinding to say
    you are beautiful
    and I love you
.
b mafika Mar 2016
i love only
the ocean
and nearly myself
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