know you don’t miss me
you just miss the way it feels
to not be alone
Lately I’ve been contemplating whether you’re a test from the devil or a gift from the universe
Are you really the piece I feel I’ve been missing from my soul or is it just my unruly wishful thinking?
Are you really the one I should be fighting for or is my heart just too stubborn to give you up?
Am I truly captivated by your light or are you just an obstacle in the way of my rightful brilliance?
Do I let you break my heart over and over because I love you or am I still just yearning for someone to love me?
Am I crazy or am I correct?
Maybe I’ll let you break it again just to make sure
you claim your love is so grand
but it hurts the most
you yearn for grip
tightest on me for control
scared to be alone
above all others
their mistakes are worse than yours
so you tell yourself
you can fool me once
maybe a few thousand times
but here’s where I part
you can keep my love
for at one point, it was real
but you can’t keep me
hostage in my mind
pleasing one who doesn’t care
nothing is enough
you pretend to care
take everything I give you
but count all I can’t
I’m not what you want
at least you can admit that
although, not to me
please just let me go
losing all my energy
left nearly empty
my chest is heavy and i just want to be emotional
but i'm not even sure how i feel right now
maybe it's a mix of everything
sadness, longing, loneliness
exhaustion, anxiety, irritation, and fear
like a jungle juice of despair
i can't tell where one ends and another begins
but i know i'll have a headache in the morning
How could i feel so empty
yet so simultaneously overwhelmed?
So alone in the middle of a thousand people
but shudder at the thought of truly being seen
A melancholic wanderer, slightly misguided
and significantly misunderstood
drifting through a world where “quiet” means invisible
and being invisible means all I’ll ever have is myself.
I never realized how much I didn’t fit in until I met you. How much I never felt like I belonged until you said “I get it,” and I could tell that you meant it. Somehow you became everything I ever needed in 0.02 seconds and in the end, that’s always the part that bites me in the ***.
these days are long and the seasons seem to drag
this year has me trapped beneath her grip
friends are only friends to your face
and lovers just love to use you
people only care with their words
as if i could lay my crying head against empty whispers
served slow motion hits to the chest
and taken advantage of time and time again
i've been aching for my heart to heal
anticipating a fresh bloom
and still with three more months to go?
****, it's been a long year
the last few months feel like decades