The boiling point of water is one hundred degrees Celsius,
or two hundred and twelve degrees Fahrenheit.
Every morning,
my wife boils water in an old fashioned kettle,
because the new one that beeps,
well, it broke.
Somehow,
she broke it.
So every morning,
I wake up to the obnoxious whistling of the old fashioned kettle.
The slow rising,
higher and higher,
louder and louder,
the whistle pierced my ears,
like a spear through one ear,
and out the other.
I just couldn't take it anymore!
One morning,
I woke up with a monstrous headache.
I rolled over in bed and asked my darling,
"Do you mind not boiling water this morning for your tea?
I have a horrible headache"
"Sure" she said kindly, and went back to sleep.
Finally,
one day without the screeching kettle.
I slowly drifted back to sleep.
But then,
I was awaken!
A hideous screeching noise was coming from the kitchen,
slowly rising,
it got higher and higher,
louder and louder,
the whistle pierced my ears,
like a harpoon through one ear,
and out the other.
I just couldn't take it anymore!
I jumped out of bed,
took no time to put my pants on,
and charged out into the kitchen.
"What's wrong dear!?" my wife shrieked, frightened by my sudden anger.
I did not even listen to her,
I grabbed the kettle,
opened it up,
and threw the boiling water,
onto my wife gorgeous face.
The boiling hot water sizzled on her cool face.
Her skin began to bubble,
and burn.
The aroma of burning flesh,
filled the air.
She cried out in pain,
as she fell to the ground.
It was then I realized,
I was going to go to jail for this...
So I proceeded to smash her face in with the kettle I was holding,
until she was unconscious.
I checked her pulse.
She was dead.
I looked at the clock.
5:34.
"I can deal with the body in the morning" I said to myself,
as a grabbed a cold glass of water.
"Looked like you reached your 'boiling point' there, Jeff" I thought to myself,
as a chuckled.
Copyright Barry Pietrantonio