You cant save my life
I am drawn
drawn in my own pain

You cant make me happy
I am covered
Covered with my own grief

You cant read me
I am written in the paper
damped by my own tears

"How can you crave something deeper from another, when you refuse to look past the skin..?"

As I discover each one,
They burn my soul.
I trusted no one,
Only friends,
But those are the ones I should be weary of.

Yet you are still one of them,
Even as I am betrayed
Even as I pray to God
To understand why
After years and years you only hide
And lie.

I promise I will forgive.


Even though you hurt me...

her voice
told me we were friends
she'll make me better
happier

she said
she is the only one who cares
she loves me

i have to listen to her
she'll make me perfect

fat pig she says
useless she says
but she loves me
so i'll listen

start out small
cut back
no more than 1000 calories

it'll get harder
she says this isn't enough

500 calories
400 calories
300
200

calories control me
as much as her voice does

1 pound
2 pounds
3 pounds
lost

more she says
stop completely
walk away
become beautiful

people say an apple a day keeps the doctor away
i have to live by that

weeks
months
they pass

thin
bones
beautiful

but i can't see
she told me it'll be okay
but i can't see

passing out
fainting
falling
death

feeding tubes
IVs
medication

she says this is what she planned for
i'll be perfect once i'm dead

because at death
i will be my thinnest

so i smile
as she tells me my pulse
is fading

I can only see the darkness around me..and I am terrified...
save me from the dark
I can't be alone any longer