a z u r e d r e a m: Favorites

Jun 2017 a z u r e d r e a m

Eiram N

still the melancholy tears
     drip on winds unbound,
slick silver needles cascading
          in sheets, the puddles'
   rippling waters reflecting
        dark erratic heartbeats
   punctured with jagged pain
    of another home again found,
  then bombed, and was disarrayed,
      but the sluicing drops impenetrable
in the velvet blinds of my umbrella,
  housing only warm lonely mortal tears,
tears of a maddening human heart.

When I cry for the pettiest of reasons I am reminded of my paltry irrelevance, how many people's hearts are bruised far worse than mine: those whose homes are ravaged by war and violence and brutal injustice, children unsheltered from all the cruelties in this world, and then I am suddenly aware of their tremendous suffering, and then I think, my tears shouldn't just be for mine own.

#rain #tears #sadness #depression #unity #strength #compassion #*** #unifying #pour

Jun 2017 a z u r e d r e a m

the light is yellow

Jun 2017 a z u r e d r e a m

moonlit scenario

the light is yellow

basked in unfortunate light;
ungodly hours,
ungodly thoughts.

what hours are godly anyway?

#depression

Jun 2017 a z u r e d r e a m

Is It 10:00 Yet?

Jun 2017 a z u r e d r e a m

TS

Is It 10:00 Yet?

9:47 I sit on my couch, staring at my bed.

I'm not supposed to lay down until at least 10 o'clock.

It's supposed to "ward away depressive states" so I don't "stay in bed all day long."

9:52 If I go just a little early, that won't be a big deal, right?

No, I better listen. I better try.

9:55 Only five more minutes.

That's funny. We used to use that to avoid going to bed, now I'm using it to count down until I can.

9:58 Do I have everything I need? The temperature is set so I won't get too hot? I've got my glass of water, my phone charger, my fuzzy socks?

10:00 Sweet relief.

I'll never leave you again.

I promise.

"Depressive state", my ***. This is the only place I can be safe. The only place I'm home.

-t.s.

#depression #sadness #suicide #bedtime #sleep #pain #sad #broken #bed

Jun 2017 a z u r e d r e a m

beautiful

Jun 2017 a z u r e d r e a m

ely

beautiful

you are so beautiful
but not in the ways you would expect

i saw the sadness in your eyes
how they seemed to escape the prison you held them in
even for the most fleeting of moments
they shone in your eyes for a second
and they were gone the next
locked away where no one would ever see it
yet despite this,
you are humble and always kind
and for that, you are beautiful

i saw the weariness in your bones
aching muscles and tired limbs still forced to do the day’s work
as they tremble in exhaustion
and protest their misuse
yet despite this,
you are steadfast and you are strong
and for that, you are beautiful

i saw your hurt and your pain
moments where your breath is taken away
as you sit numb and in shock
the times you would falter in step
your head bowed deep, willing your tears not to fall
yet despite this,
you do not lash out, you are not angry
and for that, you are beautiful

you love despite not receiving that love in return
you are kind even when the world is anything but
you are beautiful because you are fighting
despite the gods’ insistence to keep you down

i hope you realize this before it is too late
your soul as pure as light radiates from within
and it makes you glow and beam and always look lovely
and my dear one—
if you could see yourself the way i see you
the way you always see others,

then will you realize you are worth it,
that you are beautiful,
and that you are so infinitely loved

Jun 2017 a z u r e d r e a m

What even. (Explicit)

Jun 2017 a z u r e d r e a m

Benchwarmer

What even. (Explicit)

Savour the simple things. Simple things are what give you wings. Just sit and think. Reckoning. Your own thoughts are your undoing. Using your vision to sit in front of the television. That’s your decision. Sometimes entertainment leads to intuition. Or isolation. Which leads to demolition. Demolition of your mind’s existence. They say it rots your brain but the circumstances change the game. It’s not the same. The meaning is getting chased away by thoughts of dancing in the rain. You must restrain in order to keep your feelings tame. Sometimes they take the fame. It doesn’t matter how you do it. It’s the people that get you through it. The people you hold close. The people you love the most. They seem to be the wisest. Wiser than most kids today, who compare snap scores like **** sizes. I’m barely even rhyming anymore. Oh well. No use. I’m just trying to get it through to you. Hell, I don’t even know what it is, but I know it’s important. Making a decision nowadays is enough to make you sick. ****. So is a ******* insta pic. Sometimes I wish we could go to back to when there was only floppy disks. The rhyming is back, or at least it kind of is. What is this. This “poem” is getting pretty random, isn’t it? I wrote this for several reasons for no reason.

What even.

Jun 2017 a z u r e d r e a m

he was here

Jun 2017 a z u r e d r e a m

Gia Garcia

he was here

In this particular ether
He stood here
Waiting for me
In this space
He sat drinking beer
Smoking luckies
On this parking spot
He parked his car
Which we leaned on and kissed
By this fence
We stood smoking rubies
Talking about our lives
On this couch by the piano
I held his scar on his right wrist
He explained why he wore his ring
All those places
All those spaces
He was there
And on my skin
In my mind
He was here
And in my heart
He still is.

For J

#love #him #romance #space #longing #missing #places #real