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Jun 2017
9:47 I sit on my couch, staring at my bed.

I'm not supposed to lay down until at least 10 o'clock.

It's supposed to "ward away depressive states" so I don't "stay in bed all day long."

9:52 If I go just a little early, that won't be a big deal, right?

No, I better listen. I better try.

9:55 Only five more minutes.

That's funny. We used to use that to avoid going to bed, now I'm using it to count down until I can.

9:58 Do I have everything I need? The temperature is set so I won't get too hot? I've got my glass of water, my phone charger, my fuzzy socks?

10:00 Sweet relief.

I'll never leave you again.

I promise.  

"Depressive state", my ***.  This is the only place I can be safe. The only place I'm home.

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