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644 · Dec 2018
Him.
Ayse Buntion Dec 2018
I cry when I think of him,
I cry when I don’t.

So much feels missing without him,
so much falls into place with him.

I cry when I think about him,
because so much is so right.
With his image in my head,
so much is put into sight.

So much hurts so badly,
when I picture myself without.
So, whenever I need some peace,
I cry thinking of him.
Ayse Buntion Dec 2018
If I had the chance to see you,
in the empty space where you once took your place,
to sit back and watch the family you created gather together,
I don’t know just what all I’d say.
I wouldn’t have enough time left in the minutes of eternity,
to tell you all that you mean to me.
We sit here without your presence,
and it’s so hard because without you,
this is less than half of being home.
Wish we had the time,
because I know
if you could be here forever,
I’d call for you each morning just to tell you how comforting it is to hear your voice.
If you could be here forever,
I’d come home each day, from a stressful life away,
and show you how much I appreciate everything that you are,
and everything that you’ve given to me.
I’d tell you how beautiful you are to me.
if only you could be here forever.
595 · Dec 2018
Broken Eyes
Ayse Buntion Dec 2018
Her heart broke,
the tears she shed flooded my mind.
The look on her face, the image I chase,
replays in my mind.
The pain is too strong to replace.
Saw her heart shatter right inside
as she cried to me.
This sadness has a long time to be.

Have you ever seen a flower with broken eyes?

Her soul caved,
the pain she plead drowned my sight.
Oh, lonely are her broken eyes.
Ayse Buntion Dec 2018
Your voice,
Your touch,
Your smell;
it all means so much to me.

So many years I've spent,
wasted,
looking for you;
but you always make them up to me.

It's been so long since my world has spun,
now it's turned around.
The love of you is my favorite sound.
347 · Dec 2018
Strength is...
Ayse Buntion Dec 2018
Strength is shining the light where darkness was intended.
Ayse Buntion Jan 2019
I tried loving you better. But, it just wasn't enough.
272 · Jan 2019
It Feels As If
Ayse Buntion Jan 2019
It feels as if he's not true to me.
I know the time we spend,
it's rough towards the end.
And, it breaks me
as he grows tired of my company.

It feels as if he doesn't really love me.
He seems as if he tried to pretend,
and only pretend,
as if he cares.
But, it's just too easy
for him to be sidetracked when I'm hurting.
It's just too easy for him to blow it off.

And, I understand I'm a sensitive soul.
I'm emotional;
Far too often do I break.

But, if he really wanted me;
And, if he really needed me;
If he really cared like he said he does.
If I really was his everything,
and the best thing to happen to him;
the most beautiful thing in his eyes,
this wouldn't feel like it does.

It feels as if he doesn't really love me.
258 · Dec 2018
Skinny Genes
Ayse Buntion Dec 2018
She said, "Don't look at me,"
changing her clothes by the bed.
"I'm fat, and I look bad."
I said, "My girl, it's all in your head.
I'd rather just have you as instead.
There's no best,
no perfect,
but you'd be the closest to deserve it."
Need something to hold onto,
need a body to look at.
Don't want to see your thighs,
since you can't look through.
But, I want something for my hands to hold,
I need something to grab on tightly to.
You don't need clear skin,
because I want to know you're human.
Even a heart stretches and leaves marks.
Everybody's heart is scared.
It's cool because that's beautiful, too.
Oh, no, I don't like it.
I don't like
Skinny Genes.
233 · Dec 2018
Just For You
Ayse Buntion Dec 2018
My heart had no home,
yet I saved it.
Let it roam,
instead of finding it a place to rest.

Never, would I have guessed,
that this heart,
it beat true.
And, only,
it stayed restless and not homed,
because it was waiting...
just for you.

This heart is
just for you.
212 · Dec 2018
Don't Ask Tomorrow
Ayse Buntion Dec 2018
Have I done good things in this life?
Have I fought enough to show other people how to fight?
What will be my legacy?
What does purpose look like for me?
When will my time for a change to be good come?
Trust me, you won't see it in the morning sun.

Don't ask tomorrow,
the day will come.
193 · Jan 2019
This is a letter for you...
Ayse Buntion Jan 2019
You were my first, and I thought the universe was planned for us. But, you made other ones, your attention was already reserved. And that controlled where we went from there."

But, no one can say we didn't have the stars aligned while it lasted.

I wish the best for you in all you do, and hope you find what's right as you reach the top again.

Good days, my old friend.

This is a letter for you...
191 · Dec 2018
I Understand
Ayse Buntion Dec 2018
Oh, here it comes,
you're dying again.
Time to see how many people were lying again.
If you walk out,
I'll know what brought you to your end.
I'll know the lack of your intentions.
And, though none of them were ever to give me your hand when I fell,
I'd understand.
Because the thing that makes it so hard to stay for me,
is that I fall constantly.
I try to keep myself strong enough to stand,
but I fall to the ground anyways.
If you won't stay true to me when I fall,
I understand.
168 · Dec 2018
Cold.
Ayse Buntion Dec 2018
Cold as a winter no earth has ever touched;
Could freeze over every hell between birth and after death.
Life is not like the way you sleep at night;
Can't ever rest your troubled mind.
Cold as a headstone, dies deep under your flesh;
sinks into the muscle you have left.
No strength and no gain;
Can't wait till your last breath.
Hung with barbed wire around your neck,
it's all just a nightmare you can't take back.
It's all destroyed a dream you can't have back.
At night,
I only dream of death.
Cold when I'm alone,
my soul has left.

— The End —