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  Sep 2014 Awkward
hell never looked so heavenly a place,
at 3am
where sleep is nowhere to be found
I can't close my eyes,
without seeing your face
Awkward Sep 2014
Have you ever loved someone
so much it physically hurt you?

Have you ever loved someone
so much you planned your forever with them?

Have you ever lost someone
because they didn't have the same feelings for you?

Have you ever lost someone
and cried so hard you felt like you were dying?

Have you ever missed someone
so much you talk about them constantly?

Have you ever missed someone
and know that they don't miss you?

Have you ever met someone
who took away the pain of the past?

Have you ever met someone
that doesn't numb the pain long enough?

Have you ever left someone
because you were still missing your past?

Have you ever hated yourself
for missing that one person so much?

Have you ever hated someone
for making you feel so alone?

Have you ever wanted to die
because you feel trapped with the memories of them?

Have you ever dragged a blade across your skin
just to feel something, anything at all?

I have
I have for 5 months now
And I don't think this pain will ever go away
I hate you, but I miss you
Please, someone help me
I haven't been on in a while but now that summers over and i see him more and more i just feel like complete ****. someone help me, please. this feeling is awful.
Awkward Jul 2014
& once again
I'll fall asleep
& wish
I never loved you
Late night thoughts & depression are an awful mixture
Awkward Jul 2014
You say you're there for anybody
& only a phone call away

But where were you at 3am
When I couldn't breathe
& held that blade to my wrist

You care for everyone else
Except the one person who needed you
I needed you

You did nothing
Walked by me crying in the halls like I was a ghost
& if I choose to put this blade
To my neck instead of my wrist
& end it all tonight

I'm sure you'd laugh
& be perfectly ok
With the fact the ****** ***** is gone

So don't say you care
When you've made it obvious you don't
Awkward Jul 2014
I have "help me" carved into one leg
& "save me" on the other

I'm just so sad
I don't know what to do

Why am I still writing these
Or breathing for that matter

Life is pointless for me
Iv lost all motivation to do anything, let alone write anymore. Might stop for a while.
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