I have become nothing
I am empty
I am devoid

I just keep thinking it over.
The wave washing over her one final time.
The panic when she didn't come back up.
The heartbreak of a phone call home.
The days long search to find her.
Her curly hair as the pulled her onto the boat.
The simultaneous relief and terror when the journey was finally over.

I remember seeing her curly head of hair bounce around just weeks before.
I remember when she shook my hand introduced herself to me.
I remember when she brushed out her curls to look like a lion for dorm pride.
I remember when she taught us how to swing dance.
I remember where she left her laundry detergent in the dorm basement.
She can't be gone. She just can't.

But she is. They found her. She's gone.
I can't imagine the crushing pain her family must be feeling that seems to become heavier with each passing moment.
She deserved so much longer than she got.

The only form of relief comes in the knowledge that Chase is taking on a new adventure;
One more beautiful and perfect than anyone could ever imagine.
She is resting in the arms of her Savior and waiting for the day we can join her.
"We know Chase is in His hands and safely home."