I tumble wildly, trapped, afraid,
with the endless screaming in my head.
I crack one day, but just miss the mark.
I assumed that nothing lay ahead.

Our love was a slow burning candle.
I was blinded by darkness, hopeless.
But your flickering helped me handle
my broken mind, bringing me wholeness.

Once recovered, that slow, steady burn
grew into a raging inferno.
If I had known how much I would yearn
for you, burn for you, learn from you….no.

I would have never tried to leave here.
You are not the only reason I stay.
Yet, you are my guiding light; my fear
met its maker, you melt it away.

I can smell you on the sheets
of this ****** hotel suite.
A numbness cascades over me.
Listless, I dream of what could be.
I try my hardest to be tough.
I am prepared, with fisticuffs
to wake up next to you one day.
Though now I feel tired and grey.
I know I'll have you back with time.
Tender love rushing back sublime.

You look at me and
your smile
falters.
It should.

You left us.
I’m left
fuming
in disbelief.

What did you mean when you said
“Love”?
Now you ****** that word with cruel fists,
crushing it beyond recognition.

I glance away.
I’m standing in rubble,
silent.

Maybe I can handle a
S l o w
S t e a d y
D  e  c  a  y,

Can I handle the
sudden,
thoughtless detonation
of my one sanctuary?

Family.

I sift through the debris;
we are lucky.
Everyone survived.
But you should suffer
bitterly
for every bruise and wound
your twisted apologies left behind.

You know what the worst part is?
Every time I
see your face,
hear your name,
remember your embrace,
I miss you.
Terribly.