I feel like I am suffocating
There is a small hole
A tunnel to my memory
A place that is not empty
Some place where my breath takes me
A tunnel with no air at the end
But things I remember
Things I always will see
Eyes shut with mouth
I don't breathe here
I just see
Observe
Recall
Cry
There is no more but black now
Nothing but fear and paranoia
Speechless and despondent
I can't breathe;

You wake up and just start writing
Anything that is on your inflated mind
Your mind filled with thoughts, thoughts that
Are good, bad, sad, happy,
And you're just overwhelmed by its ability to hold such a capacity of all these emotions
Emotions you cannot control because we don't understand the way it works
Or even how we work
We don't understand the way people work
The way people see and do things
No control over anything
Sometimes we find ourselves doing something
That we couldn't see ourselves doing
And people tell us we're doing these things
Because everyone else can see too
But that's life right?
You do things just to remember you're still alive or even existing
Or just so other people can see you exist
I can sit here and see if I am still here
Stay here and see if I am still there.

I dreamt of something terrifying
So I can keep my pulse fast and find
That you have to try and keep
These thoughts going and going till you sleep
There once was a time where I tried to think
And blink and blink
For I won't sink
To the bottom of the blue
I do not have faith in what I do
So I believe and believe
This habit will leave
I do not care
I wish to see
Because there will be a day
When I wake up
And close that door
I never thought I would shut
Listen. I am hear
Loud and leer
At myself with weak trust
Because I think and thought
Over and over again till my memory rots
Because I am a human and we are not all sane
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