3/6/2019
To me “goodbye” is so hard to say
Ask of me my heart but you already have it
And then, to watch you just walk away
With you and me together, we just seem to fit

When I’m with you, I suddenly know
That there’s nothing better than us
Because with you, the light finally shows
And the dawn is as bright as the dusk

I keep my secrets and hold myself close
But you know me better, and hold me closer
In between the shadows, you fight all of my ghosts
The music of my heart, and you're the composer

A concept of dreaming in reality
With your arms around me I'm calm
A floating wonderwall of you and me
A dancing secret you hold on my palm

And so one moment lasts forever
But is somehow over with a snap
And while my heart climbs on this unlikely endeavor
I just hope that I don't collapse

3/4/2019
This is an ode to the things I'm too afraid to say
This is an ode to the “I love you”
The one that echoes in my heart and fills it with hope
The one that despite my trying, always gets caught in my throat
The one that I mean but I forget the language I speak in
This is an ode to the “I want to hold your hand”
The same one that dances on my fingertips in prayer
The same one that glides along the palm of my hand into theirs
The same one that is never asked because vulnerability does not fit into my glove
This is an ode to the “just hold me”
The request that steadies two heart beats to one moment
The request that holds the sunset in between two people
The request that comes from an unexpected origin
This is an ode to the “I'm scared”
The confession that changes the view from one eye
The confession that I can't say because it might hurt
The confession that spilled the truth of dreaded heartache
This is an ode to “please don't leave”
The plea that breaks a heart when it's not met
The plea that comes with the strings attached, pulling on a heart
The plea that is a promise never kept because everyone will leave eventually
This is an ode to the things I wanted to say
But never had the courage to say them

3/3/2019
“I freaking love you”
My heart skips a beat
As it belongs to him
“I freaking love that”
My heart jumps to my throat
As it tries to escape
“I freaking love us”
My heart has jumped out
And it spreads across the page in letters and words
“You just inspired me”
With poems of my words he writes
And claims I am the inspiration
“I really want to hug you right now”
My heart soars across the sky
It melts with the sunset colors
“Don't cry”
I cry because I'm relieved
Doesn't he see how happy he makes me
“You make me happy too”
Also, together, we
I can't contain the bliss
“You just wrote another piece”
My words to him are poetry
He claims I'm better than I am
“Your (you're) perfect, Katie Miller”
He says but I don't quite believe
Because I've been broken many times before
“You write every time you speak”
I use words because they're true and real
It's as if they understand me better than myself
“You inspire me alot”
You inspire my words
You inspire my poems
You inspire me

3/3/2019
There was a boy
Who taught me who I was
Through poetry and grammar mistakes
That I couldn't quite figure out
There was a boy
That despite everything I do to annoy him
Swears that he doesn't hate me
There was a boy
That taught me how to put my head on someone's shoulder
Because I've apparently been doing it wrong
And he taught me how to be myself
There was a boy
That taught me that not every cliche was stupid
And that my breath can be taken away
With the right words with the right intent
There was a boy
Who I understand to be the one
To take my breath
And steal my heart
No matter how hard I try
To keep it

3/3/2019
“Us”
A concept that I cannot quite unravel
When he says “us”
I begin to unravel
“We”
A moment in time shared by two
But felt as one pair
I hold it in my hand
“Together”
A broken seam sewed with care
Holding hands to hold a heart
A shattered person completed by another
“Hope”
A light that shines
Of “well maybe one day I can
Hold his hand and just be with him”
“With”
Not alone
Never apart or broken down
He builds me up when I break down
And him with me and me with him
There is no better that I could be

3/2/2019
Once there was a boy I dreamed of
He had curly hair
That was perfectly upbeat
And danced when he moved
And fire eyes with silver
The kind of eyes that pulled me in with warmth
But scared me with intense sincerity
He had a safety about him
That hung from his arms
And a story that spilled from his lips
His notes were those I could hear all day long
And never hear a song the same
He told a different story with the music he loved
And I longed for the next note to hear
His hugs were the epitome of safe
With his arms he lifted the world from my shoulders
And with him, I could be me
I could be the truest self I ever was
I knew who I was because he knew me
I could climb one thousand mountains
And defeat everything that fell to my feet
With him by my side, my insecurities broke
And sadness was a foreign language on my tongue
He made me strong by making me weak
And he had no idea that he did
But I awoke from the dream
And realized with pillows and sheets
And a dizzy feeling in my head
That some people were meant to stay where they were
And that he was never meant to be mine

3/1/2019
If I was ever unsure
He closed the doubt away
So it never came out
If I ever forgot who I was
He said my name one hundred times
Until I loved the sound of myself
If I ever walked away
From the person who I was
He gave me a mirror to see
If I ever wanted to quit
He stopped me from moving
And counted the reasons to live

2/28/2019
It's 11:11
And I can't think of anything
Except for you
The only words in my throat are your name
And the only sound I hear is your voice

The only thing I see are your eyes and your smile
A broken down merry go round horse
Nothing escapes my swirling mind
Except for your silver fire eyes

And my head is dizzy and my heart is fixed
With the soaring hope of you and me
Though my wish may not come true again
A penny thrown in the fountain won't hurt

I blow the dandelion and close my eyes
And picture you instead

Two-tone lips
Chewed raw from a tempted anxiety
And a stitched together string
Told to keep quiet unless you have a lie to tell
So you can protect the connected streams of expectations
A lie balanced on one lip, the truth falling from the other
Catch it quick before it spills

Burnt bruised skin
Strangled by the soft palms of mercy
With a choked lie so we will protect their name
A yellow-blue watercolor of forgotten truths
Blended together with the concealed coverings
A punch again and one more hit
Block the kick to stop the pain

Obsidian knife blades
Cut deeper than the steel that you use
Black explosive rock glazed with the promise of blood
A line cut into it that separates truth from lie
A simple consequence of being the one who was there
A chance game token of who can get the better death
A knife that only reveals the bruised lips of the liar that we are

Twist the stem
And I was scared
As I got close to your name
It landed on just that one letter
That you write on every paper
And letter and note
Because you were the letter of my apple stem

I was told when I was younger
“Twist a stem, that person will love you”
But now I realize that if you plant a stem
Nothing will grow from it but hope
A twisted stem detached from the apple
Means nothing but the fact
That I love you

I thought that I could love you
If my red apple told me so
And I was right because I really do love you
I eat apples until I’m sick and can’t stomach the thought of anymore
But that means nothing with a twisted branch
And all that’s left
Is a broken apple stem

how does a bird fly
if he cant appreciate his own wings
and realize that those wings
can take him places
that he has never been before
to see the mountain tops
above the orange horizon sky
into the deep blue nothing above
to see new beauties that have gone unseen
but if the bird can never see
that the only thing that can lift him are his wings
then he will never truly learn to fly
and if he never learns what his wings can do
then how will he ever become
truly himself

I left consciousness while wide awake
Never breathing but overthinking
What you said what I said
Breathing and living with you on my mind
Your name always on my tongue
Like sweet stinging candy
A delicate touch of powerful words
When you are the one I wait for daily
A stopwatch of life when you say my name
And everything goes silent but you
Click, the stopwatch starts again
And I realize that you will never be mine
I realize that you were never mine
I realize that I
Can only be
If I stop loving you

12/22/2018

I’m walking through the halls
Trapped in by suffocating walls
I’m walking through the doors
Over the decaying floors
Who has walked through them?
And where were they walking from?
A broken desk
Or a secluded bathroom stall?
Memories and laughter or
Tears and sobs evermore?
Have these hallways heard confessions?
Or witnessed just depression?
Have they made memories of laughter ?
Have these windows shown truth of all of the lies?
Or only a glimpse of an aggravated sunrise?
Are the walls shrines of the past?
Holders of all questions asked?
If the curtains wave in the gentle autumn breeze
Is there still an ill wanted disease?
The dilapidated ceiling watched over inhabitants
Still built perfectly built but falling apart
And visitors that were seen as contaminants
The unwanted one
The one no one would notice if they were gone
The same one that screamed for help here
For anyone to be near
Or the one who was popular
A class A top gossiper
The one with a sharp tongue
But no one knows that it’s wrong
The hallways whisper the secrets
Of their strongest weakness
The halls tell the stories they may
Of friends on their departing highway
And the friends who are just meeting
Smiles, laughter and a warm greeting
I’m walking through the halls
Trapped in by suffocating walls
I’m walking through the doors
Over the decaying floors
Waiting for a voice to hear
For anyone to show they're near
Waiting here forever
I won't leave this place, never

12/9/2018

Blow a dandelion
Scattered wishes
Weedkiller breathes death upon their hopes

Wish upon
A shooting star
Destroyed debris grants nothing

Pennies in wells
Change for a wish
Leftover change in an empty case

Rabbits foot
On a chain
Hopping stops a hoping dream

Four leaf clover
Picking flowers
Wishing on the dead weeds kills

Wishbone breaking
A wish come true
One is left with a broken heart

Birthday candles
Blow, make a wish now
Burning reflections in teary eyes

A hopeless sky
Ignorant innocence
Children’s wishes turn to dust

A hopeful fairytale
Told stories of love
A broken heart reveals the truth

11/27/2018

mirror mirror on the wall

was i always meant to fall?

roses white and dying light

silver's sweet forgiving bite

Ask the questions: why and how

Although no answers are given now

Was it hate or was it love

And is there any place above?

A broken frame that shows the past

The broken know it doesn't last

Security given by false sunlight

That gives a person their will to fight

For the fragile smile that happiness broke

And the one who smiled never woke

So mirror mirror on the wall

Tell me truly: who is the fairest of them all?