16/F/Pennsylvania I am a very basic teenage girl. I am also a pathetic cliche (it's similar to hopeless romantic, except I'm really trying to be hopeful- it's not going well). I am also a writer, though my words don't always make sense.
VSCO: katie-paigee 1 follower / 1.4k words
3/18/2019 I don't know what I'm saying This is a foreign language It balances on the tip of my tongue And crawls around the roof of my mouth This is a romance language more romantic than Spanish, or French, or Italian This accent is startling but softer still I whisper As you murmur sweet pieces of everything into my ear You seem to be fluent in this language As if love was your first spoken tongue While I stumble over the words unable to say a simple phrase The phrase unspoken for fear of mispronunciation Because it's so easy to say wrong Because vulnerability is another dialect I do not speak Though it flows off of your tongue so easily As if your teeth are sure of where they land And your lips form the words that I need to hear Even though I never knew I needed to hear them This language that I don't speak Comes from a country where the most beautiful people live Where the happiest of smiles look up to the sky Where the hearts are pure and simple and loving But I do not come from that country And my passport was brand new and unused I have learned to live by myself on my own island of walls The walls I build to keep out those who care For I might hurt them if they came in But you speak words that fill the cracks And the love you give expands and breaks the wall And you teach me this language I don't quite understand why But you make sure that I know myself Before I know you Or the language Or the world around me You flew me to that country on an airplane made of the clouds themselves And taught me this language that I will never forget This language of love and happiness This language of you and me This language of the world as it should be
3/13/2019 I had a dream A dream I never wanted to have A dream about my dream boy We stood there like we always did And he wrapped his arms around me He hugged me and I felt happy One thousand thoughts rushed through my head And they all collected to one They swirled and mixed and blended together Until I could no longer place one from two And then I said without purpose With all my thoughts inside my mind “I love you” He pulled away from the hug And looked at me in the eyes He looked at me as if I was a toddler Not strong enough to know the truth He looked at me as if I would break And as if he would be the one to shatter me He looked at me as if I were the one he couldn’t keep And he said “Let’s talk about love… I don’t know if I love you But I think it’s safe to stay with like. Love is a lot, and I don’t love you. Not like that, not yet” My soul was crushed and I said “Okay” And turned to leave him there I stopped a second and looked at him And he wasn’t looking back He was never looking back And he never looked back At me
3/11/2019 Hold my hand Holding a whisper against my palm Tracing my life through your fingertips Listening and hearing from the very beds of your nails Keeping a secret wrapped around your fingers Intertwined with the sweet company of your voice Biting on my nails from the nerves of your touch Nerve endings connect to reach a secret coded love story The same love story I've dreamed of for years The same love poem that I've written without your name That now, I whisper without a doubt That you hold my hand and I see you for the first time One hundred days go by and you hold me closer still Fingertips on my palm, following the lines of my doubt And trace them right back to my heart Where they dissipate with the will of your whispers Unearth the broken secret that my hands hold Erase the vestige of hesitancy in my voice And sketch scars that line my wrist, writing a story between them Silver fingertips that line my face and drum on my heart The beating beats of bliss against my fingers Brushing your thumb against the side of my hand Soothing the rocking unrest inside of me Your hands hold mine And cradle my palm And everything is okay
3/10/2019 Sometimes I doubt The undoubtable things As if the sky is never blue And time is never passing Like why does he care about me? Why does he choose me over every other girl? Why does he only ever see me in a crowd? My hair isn’t long like them And I don’t have scrunchies for him to hold I don’t have the best body I don’t have the right curves and edges My eyes aren’t as bright blue as some They don’t strike you like a lightning bolt My words don’t make sense They just swirl into incoherent tumbles I don’t love myself or have an ounce of confidence I walk around wishing to live as someone else I don’t have the most optimistic mind My will to live is lower than the rest I’m almost never truly happy And when I am, I’m terrified that it will shatter I’ve never had someone feel the same back Because I’ve simply never been good enough And somehow, though I am convinced of very little He sees me as enough And I don’t understand But I guess it helps that he understands me
3/11/2019 My eyes are like wolves, You say you love them Your eyes A silver-green fire A moss plant Enchanted with your words A hazel autumn field With sunlight beams My hair gets in my face, You say that it’s cute Your hair A perfect curly fluff That bounces when you walk The epitome of upbeat The soft curl of your hair That just floats where you are My words are cunning and sharp You say that they’re intelligently spoken Your words At exactly the right time In the perfect order to fluster my heart The syllables crash together in a symphony Your voice a chorus of itself Knowing without the need of a script I am valuable You say that I don’t know my true worth Your value Outshines the oxygen we breath And climbs over the water we drink You climb the mountain and still climb more Your worth is overflowing my heart and my mind Losing you would be losing alot more than a person