Many moons ago
In a simpler time
They danced in this ballroom
To music sublime
Stepping out in their finest
Dipping and swaying
Longing and touching to
The sweetest music playing
Lost in each others eyes
As they moved as one
Two halves of one soul
Since time had begun
But now the music is fading
And she’s turning to mist
Time is returning
This dance was on his list
Alone in the ballroom
Lost in the romance
The lonely old widower
Has his last dance

24/07/2010

I get too deep in my own emotions, I never even attempt to try and bring myself back because I know that when I’m depressed they just become delusions. It’s simple to say that friendship can keep you sane but honestly, it’s the comradery the keeps me sheltered in an uncomfortable silence. Hearing about the pleasures someone can indulge in makes my heart break, then to hear them complain about the small demons they face in life just simply makes it hard to agree with their outlooks when I’ve seldom ever seen my happiness at its peak. It’s hard to think of them outside of our time together when almost every moment of my time is hard to fabricate. I love them but sometimes it feels like I have to liquidate and make my escape before I create a situation where I will negate the comfort I’ve created with them, it’s so hard not to express the feeling to leave.

I've been feeling the itch to write a poem but there isn't much left on the surface for me to comb. I think the problem is that I feel too at ease within my own home, nothing tragic has happened so my skin feels so securely fastened that nothing can access the workings of my inner axis. I want to cut the straps and let everything fall to the floor, I want so much for my guts to push against the closet doors so my skeletons can adore the metaphorical gore and reach out to feel for more. What i need is for the pain to come back, a crow to seek out the dove and commit a passionate attack. I desperately need that confinement to feel the claustrophobic sense of pleasure in every tightening breath while I scratch and scratch at the surface until my nails are ****** and cracked. Everything has gotten dry and stale, I hope for something to block up my tracks and make my mind derail.

Will you decompose me?
Take me apart piece by piece
Bring me back to my roots
Until I am
                     no
                              more

Your branches, they reach out
Scratchy and rough, but warm
In your embrace, I am vulnerable
But at the same time strong

Now flourish, the flowers
And fruits of our labour
Don't leave, I'll be powerless
I know you will, sooner or later

That's when I truly decompose
Not with you, not even close
I decompose to nothing
Exactly what I am to you

I'm locked away kept inside a castle that's dark and grey. I've condemned myself to be imprisoned because I refused to listen, now im here where there are distant screams but I feel I'm here alone waiting for the light that's never shown. When I walk through the halls I can smell the burning dead, maybe its a silent scream that carries it from one of the rooms doused in dread. A candelabra lights my way while I wander the hallways searching for a reason but just when I see any they seem to turn and walk away/ I have to make my way through heavy wooden doors that separate these vast corridors, afraid to move fast for the fear of making a sound because something breathes beneath the floorboards. Time has no purpose here inside the stone walls, thoughts got away from me and now when I stop I can only hear as they crawl. I cannot leave so I attack myself in the room of mirrors, sanity is not present here only remnants of decisions that remain unclear.