twelve a.m.
no moon in sight
we stare into a dark void
of neverending world
holding hands on the wood floor
as the waves crash upon the shore
words pour out your mouth
not a thing is understood
yet every word is soothing;
I can not speak
my breathe is taken away
by the beauty of the
dark ocean
and the comfort of your hand
which fits perfectly in mine

It started out as just hanging out,
After school at your house,
We watched movies, relaxed, & just talked,
Sometimes there would be no words,
But it felt like the best conversation,
I was nervous, I admit,
Your beauty was astounding,
But that was only on the outside that I saw.

Soon I got to know you better,
I saw your inner beauty,
it shined bright,
Like a light in a dark room,
You lit up any room that you stepped foot in,
There is something special about you,
The vibes you give off are so positive,
I admit I fell in love.

At first it was just a crush,
But we opened up to eachother,
I saw more of you than I ever did,
And in that moment I knew,
I knew I was in love.

Now you have gone away,
Left me all alone,
It's not your fault,
But now you just ignore me,
You don't even say a word,
It's been months and I miss you,
I miss you and I need you.

you say you love me.
but do you mean it.  
have you ever meant it at all.
I meant it before.  
you say you love me but,
you never talk to me anymore.
whenever I try you just ignore me.  
you say you love me but,
your not the same.
I'm not either and
I don't love you anymore.

you and I are only friends,
but the truth is I want to be more
I want to hold your hand,
kiss you,
cuddle with you,
I want to take you on cute dates,
have meaningless conversations,
laugh until we can't breath,
I just want to be with you.
but,
I can't tell if you want
that from me.
I guess I can just try
and hope for the best.

we only ever meet
in the mornings and
afternoons of schooldays

in the time we are apart
I think of a million
things to say

but the moment we meet
my mind goes blank,
words are lost,
I have no idea what to say

I walk awkwardly with you
not speaking a word until
you talk first

it ***** because
there are so many things
I want to say to you.

from the first day I met you
I thought you were beautiful.
you smiled at me
and I wondered how anything
could be so perfect.

a crush grew,
but it had me feeling blue.
you had a boyfriend
and there wasn't much I could do.

we talked during spring break,
the crush grew more.
never have I encountered
a person as interesting as you,
everything you want to do
I want to do too.

I guess you could say I'm
kind of in love with you.
but you're still in love
with him.  

-az

it wasn't a very good day,
it wasn't very bad.
but in the end
the bad starts to overwhelm.

my mind fills up
with thoughts of sadness.
i want to be happy
but i don't know how.

- a.z.

i've been very happy,
but now the good thoughts
are fading away like
a dream at dawn.

and in come the sad,
horrible thoughts.

the thoughts of feeling
like i'm nothing,
that come with the
thoughts that assure me
i am.

the thoughts of not wanting
to live anymore.

i feel so alone
but i know i'm not.
i know that there are
people who love me.

but the sad thoughts,
they just come in
like a wave
and crash into the good
thoughts clearing them out
leaving me with nothing
but sadness.

-a.z.