"but rain is depressing"

the usual reaction
to my weird joy
when it rains.

you know what?
rain is depressing.
but that's why
i like it so much.
it's in pain,
it's relatable,
it's
sad.

It's falling
with little control.
d
   r
     o
        p.
It's gone,
absorbed
into grass,
or accepted into
a little stream
down a cheek
or on a road
making its way
to a gutter.

It's loud
and distracting.
constant interruptions
to look
up and meet
the rain,
or out the window
in a futile attempt
to see where
the thunder
comes from.
a tumult of thoughts
mixing with cries
of the wind.

Soaking clothes
and freezing hair,
though nothing colder
than the emptiness
inside.
a void filled
only with drops.
rain or tears.
it doesn't matter.
even then,
it's not stable.
just rain
and sadness
in an abyss.

As I stand here
waiting for you
I feel a longing
in my heart

As I stand here
waiting for you
I feel empty
in my soul

As I stand here
waiting for you
my insides are dancing
like a bead of water
on a sizzling skillet

As I stand here
waiting for you
I can't help but
smile to think of
what we possess

It means little to me
neuro-science and neuro-plasticity
my heart will tell me readily
whether I'm sad or happy.

Why do you act like that
Why will you not react

Why now, do you turn away
Why, you know I want you to stay

Why can't you look at me
Why is it you loathe what you see

Why have you become so cold
Why believe what you've been told

Why would you ask me to go
Why, what is it I don't know

Why not shout and say it aloud
Why do you have to be so proud

If I believe in fate
then how do I explain him

He's here, he's in my head
he's invaded my heart

But does he belong here?

He's my waking thought
my sleeping dreams
my soul's happiness
my body's ecstasy

He's my pasts emptiness and
he's my futures presents

But maybe fate is just a
subconscious wish that
I'm destined to believe

Momma, you are-

The one who always evens my odds
In life's thundering skies, my lightning rod

My superhero, my alpha squad
My knight, my armour, my invincible sword

My lady, my lord
My queen, my God.


Your presence defines my existence, will do so all along,
I promise to keep you happy, healthy and whenever needed I'll be there to sing you them songs.