So painfully aware of being apart
from that which gives me my breath
helps to maintain the rhythmic beating
of my swollen heart--

So horribly bereft at having said goodbye
to one who has always kept me here
who has cradled me, held me tight
through every moment of my every sigh--

So hauntingly sure I will not survive
that life will have no meaning
with you not here to hold, to guard,
to keep me alive--

And so forlornly looking as you saunter away
your laugh, your jokes, your smiles and gentle heart
all that gave me reason to wake up
and live another god-forsaken day--

But so determined this time to carry on
to make it through without you here
to somehow hold myself together without you
and to just make it until the break of dawn...
©Amy Shae 2015

I've been dragged in the
black hole. Lived with a
tortured soul. Had no home.
Roamed the city streets in
the dark. Wondered about
the four letter word "L.O.V.E".
I tripped one night and fell
into a boys heart. He showed
me the light with just one spark
and he kissed my heart. He
showed me what's it like to
be alive and showed me
what's it like to be
loved* ~

in the twilight
i saw your shadow
lurking
as if waiting
to capture me
and in my fear
and anxious state of mind
all I could do was flee.

i wonder now
what if you were someone
i could have shared a moment or two
what if i had stayed
and got acquainted
with you?

fear eats at me,
rules my world
so many times
each and every day
and oh, i wish, i wish, i wish
i knew how to just stay

and be a part of this life
that so many others
seem to so easily do
but reaching out,
touching, talking to others
just makes me
shiver and tremble all the way through...

If ever I stumble upon your soul
I will find a way to let you know
and I'll do my best to give it to you
so that you and your soul can travel through
this crazy life united as one--
as a souless life seems (somehow) so undone...

Hungering for the reality of truth
to shine through another's eyes--
hungering for  acceptance of who I am
and no more deceiving lies--
hungering for just some warmth
to come shining through
hungering for someone to truly care
--is that someone YOU?

lost and alone
seems to be
the entire story
of who happens
to be me
but that's okay
I'll find my way
and when I do
perhaps
you'll join me too?