I'm sorry

*that's what I would've told you
if only I had the courage
if only I could turn back time
if only I wasn't sad all the time

Kerak dinding merapuh
Menyapuh bata, menyangainya
Alamat hujan atas gersang
Laksana injil bagi pemeluknya
----------------------------------------------
Ngengat­ dan sesak beraduk
Alasan bagi kuda putih yang tak lagi berlari
Hari ini ia merangkak
Kesakitan atas luka entah dimana
Sakit tampak dari air matanya
Tetesan berawai dan putus asa

Do not stand on my grave and cry
I am not there, i dont sleep
I dont eat
I am a thousands word that blow through the wind
I am a diamond that shine on snow
I am the sunlight that give you light
I am the gentle autumn rain that give you water,
When you awaken in the mornin'g darling hush
I am the swift upon your skin
I am the quiet birds that chant in your head
Do not stand on my grave and cry
Be happy.

I wonder if he heard the bullet
                 if he heard the gun crack
                 if he knew his breath was his last
                 if he thought about his future
                          thought about his past
                 if he thought at all
                                  or if it was too fast
I wonder if he heard the bullet

Did love dizzy his mind?
Did he think about his girl-
How she would feel when his body she'd find?
Did he think about his friends-
Who he would leave behind?
Did he think about himself
                 Trying to survive?

I wonder if he felt the pavement catch him
                 if he was still alive
I wonder when his heart stopped beating:
   was it in the backseat of a car?
   where they left his body?
   Did they drag him far?

I wonder what he was thinking;
I hope that he was not.

His fiancé flew to a corpse, not a wedding venue.
His mother to a coroner, not a graduation.
His brother accepted his diploma, not knowing what had happened.
I hope that he never realized these things.

You've got three thing to tell me
Get up
Get moving
Get going
And one day I'll reach you

Come see me
Come on over
Come get me
These thing come out of your mouth one after the other
Almost like you say them
To all the boys.....

You're amazing
You're wonderful
You're a real beauty
Keep on building me up, only to keep knocking me down
I'm worse than ruin
Because I won't stop trying
My once wonderful palace of stone and gold
Becomes a castle of wood that's rotted and old

I love you
I want you
I need you
Things I keep expecting to hear or read when you send news my way
I open up my feelings with eager eyes
And let your vague writings fill my damp, tattered and deflated ego
Did you know
I think of you every day
Not of heated nights, with petals and drained champagne
Even walks down the sandy stretch under a mystical night sky
I think of simple moments the most

Please hold me
Please kiss me
Please make the pain go away
These mutterings belong to me
Words I repeat like a cultish chant deeply in throat
Every time I hope I am running through your eclectic mind

So I know you, who's life is faced paced and full
Will never look my way with longing and desire
You won't stay up late summer nights saying my name in your head
You won't even read this sad excuse of a backhanded proclamation of love
Better yet
If this does cross your eyes
And you somehow make it to the end of my rant
You'll still never believe that I'm wailing about YOU

So I've got three more things that I need to say
I love you
I love you
I love you

When my world fell apart

Yours appeared to start

Good Luck

You f*ck

I won't let you break my heart

When I was a little girl,
I've always wondered what love would be like for me.
If it would be like fireworks
That suddenly bursts into vibrant colors
But disappears the next second;
If it would be like a sunflower
Just contentedly gazing at the sun from afar;
Or if it would be like a fire
That keeps on burning as long as the wood keeps it alive.
But the more I grew up
And the more I saw the world,
The sooner I realized
That love wasn't something easily defined
By metaphors and poetry
Love was a ray of sunlight
Covered by clouds of mystery.
Love was the shadow
You never realized was following you
And sometimes when you turn,
The light has already shifted and the shadow is gone
And has moved to another direction.
Love was not merely fireworks, or sunflowers, or burning fires.
Love was a mixture of everything.
Love is your favorite pillow stained with the bitterest tears.
Love is the beam of sunlight on the cloudiest morning.
Love is the drizzle of rain on a hot summer day.
Love is one thing while at the same time being another.
But if there was one thing I knew,
It was that love can sometimes mess you up,
Love can sometimes break you
Love can sometimes make you cry
But love can also heal
Love can also build
And love is what makes the tears all worth it.