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alyssa ann Sep 2018
from those ever so soft, delicate lips,
(and to mention,
quite kissable as well)
come the words that i long to hear.

the vibration from your "i love you" rings in my ear.
though i have every reason to believe you mean it,
they come across insincere and forced.
the butterflies stay still in my stomach
and my heart never quite flutters at the sound of them.
i am left to wonder
if these two-dimensional words you convey
will ever speak volumes to either of us.

this isn't what love is supposed to feel like.
i just want to feel something, i don't think that's asking for too much.
alyssa ann Jan 2018
you asked me what i wanted today.
between the lips of your sulking smile,
you asked me what you should do,
where we should go from here.
amid each gasp of breath
came a despairing tear
that welled up in your eye.
i reached for your hand
as my voice turned to a quivering whisper,
"i love you."
after all,
how could i tell you what i wanted,
how could i be so selfish.
i want you to be happy, again,
even if that means fighting on a while longer.
i'm sick of fighting to stay strong.
alyssa ann Jan 2018
eyes welling,
body shaking,
heart pounding,
as her tearing eyes
make forceful contact with the ones
looking back at her in the mirror.

the heartache,
the pain,
the loss of hope and dignity
was all too much
as her small hands and red fingernails
wrapped around the small pocket knife.

looking up again to the mirror,
she could no longer recognize the girl
who was standing before her.
her reddened eyes, sulking lips,
and tears washed away
the girl she used to know.

now
she was just a figment
of her depression
as it overwhelmed
every inch
of her struggling body.

trembling hands placed the knife
just under her rolled up sleeve,
pressure placed upon the arm
as the silver weapon
glided across her skin
leaving nothing but a trail of blood.

how good it felt to her
for the pain she suffered
to be physical rather than emotional,
just for once.
oh god,
how good it felt.
mental illness is not a joke, do not treat it like one.
alyssa ann Jan 2018
many would say
you are their sunshine.
the one who lights up their world
and brings them joy.

to me,
you are more than the sun
but rather the moon,
you are my moon.

bringing the essence of light
to the hours of my life
when the world is otherwise
dark.

the glowing light
you radiate
is just enough
to guide me through the night.
alyssa ann Dec 2017
one by one
each card is dealt to you,
another chance comes your way,
seven new chances lie in your hands.

each card
is full of new hope, opportunity and desires,
you take a close look at them all
with those gleaming eyes.

to you this is nothing but a game
as you feel no shame,
you skip over other’s emotions
and reverse the connections you have made.

you proudly discard them each
one at a time
and pick up more along the way,
before leaving the others behind.

they eventually all are placed in your discard pile
until there is a singular one left,
a single card, she is all that is left,
and you contently call “uno”.

your turn approaches again,
you look down at your final card
with your gazing green eyes,
and you place her too, in the discard pile.
it was just a matter of time before you discarded me as well.

— The End —