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1.9k · Mar 2015
Positive Vibes
Life is filled with constant negativity
It's always the same thing.
You can't do anything right,
Just stop trying to help,
This is all your fault.
You are nothing
And even in times of sadness,
What is most important to remember,
Always love yourself. Surround yourself with positive vibes.
Find something that can make you happy.
Writing, reading, playing a game, being with a certain person,
If it really makes you happy baby,
Don't let anybody take that away from you.
Everyone deserves to live a happy life.
Whenever you are sad, I want you to read my words
Be a beacon of positivity in a depressing world.
1.0k · Mar 2015
Thoughts
Look into my eyes,
And tell me about your dreams.
No matter how silly you think they are,
They will always be beautiful to me.
Let me be the one you call,
When you're up late at night,
Because you can't sleep,
And I'm the one you choose to talk to.
Make me the one you come home to,
Whether it's been a long day,
Or a short one.
I love you.
With a passion that could fill a thousand lifetimes,
That could bring death back to life,
With the dedication of history's greatest armies,
And the depth of the lowest point in the deepest sea.
I just want to be the one you fall asleep next to,
and the one you wake up to in the morning.
So much has been going on. This is the most predominate thing on my mind right now.
646 · Apr 2015
Untitled
He was a mighty Sitka spruce
In the dense forest,
Always stretching for new heights,
But I was nothing but a bonsai tree,
Small, beautiful to look at, yet
Extremely fragile and insecure
646 · Mar 2015
Vent
Why the hell can't you show me,
That I mean something to you?
The only time you tell me you love me,
Is when we're *******.
You only want to come get me late at night,
As if you're ashamed of being seen with me.
I just don't understand.
You're supposed to be a man,
Yet you do such childish things.
Why can't you just break my heart and get it over with?
Instead, you sit and torture me.
Calling me and talking to me one moment,
Ignoring me the next.
Why the hell can't you tell me anything?
You tell me you care about me,
But actions speak louder than words.
Often, I sit alone and wonder why I can't bring myself,
To end such a toxic thing.
But when you come to mind,
I can see only the good.
When we cuddle, when you grab my hand,
Those summer days, and summer nights
We spent doing whatever we wanted to do.
Now it's just bitterness and silence.
My mother always told me,
"Baby you're far too nice to this boy, why do you let him treat you this awful? You deserve better."
It took me this long,
But she was right.
You aren't ****,
And no longer will you control me.
a good ole' vent. why are most boys so dumb?
594 · Mar 2015
Sea
Sea
Salty air, wet hair.
Sun shining bright,
Sand warming my toes.
Watching waters,
Rise and fall.
Oh look!
A small sea star,
In a tidal pool.
This is my home,
Where I really belong.
No matter where I am,
*I will always be part of the sea.
570 · Apr 2015
Playing Games
They're not like red rover or monopoly.
These are the games,
That teenagers, that young adults play.
The rules are plentiful,
yet extremely difficult to understand.
You see, this game is played,
between a male and a female.
His role is to be kind, sweet,
and everything that the female wants him to be.
The game is easy at first.
it always is.
But after a while,
this is when the game changes.
The male slowly stops doing what he had been doing before,
and he starts changing.
He is gone an abundance of time,
does not have time for his female companion.
She starts to change too.
Tired of always waiting,
and wondering,
and trying to guess, what is really going on.
They meet one last time, before the game is over.
And it is to say their bitter goodbyes,
and to wish each other good luck,
on the next game they will play.
to be honest this probably doesn't make a whole lot of sense but it just seems right.
556 · Apr 2015
Euphoria
the feeling you gave me this morning was the very best.
our bodies close, the temperature warm.
you pulled me into your arms under the covers
just like you always did when I was cold
you kissed my neck, caressed my body,
and it was the most electric feeling I've had in a long time.
needless to say, we shared the same euphoria this morning.
and I wouldn't have it any other way.
548 · Jan 2017
warm up / vent
spiraling, spiraling further into the depths of your own mind.
nothing like overreacting to every single thing that happens to you, right?
you know you love when you cant sleep at night because you're drowning in all the hypothetical situations you've created.
when you wake up you cant wait to find the first thing that you can worry yourself over. it's just divine isn't it?
but after enjoying your own pain for so long that it's started to effect other people, you realize....
it doesnt have to be like this.
so you start your... "routine"
you start thinking on the positive side more often.. you start living life and slowly worrying less about all the things that haunted you before. you notice people around you are in a better mood more often... but most importantly, you realize that **checking up and taking care of your mental health is important. it helps you be a better person all around, and you shouldnt be scared if you may ever need help.
it's been a while since i've written anything. this is a warm up / vent about things that have been going on for me. thank you for reading.
539 · Apr 2015
I just want my stuff back
You ignore me, dont read my messages.
I came to your house today, to try and talk to you,
one last time,
before we turn into nothing.
nothing but broken hearts and memories.
i havent eaten in three days,
i shake like a leaf.
i puke everyday,
and i cant sleep.
you go out with her,
shes a filthy *****.
you gave up the one person,
that tried to save you.
the one person, that loved you.
that still does.
and the depressing thing is,
that im trying to contact you,
i want to see you one last time,
to hear your voice,
and most importantly,
*i just want my stuff back.
496 · May 2016
Untitled
i told him everything today
and that if he wanted to love me
he would have to help me
help myself
i've said this to people before
they all left after some time
they couldn't handle it
but he's different
he understood, he talked to me
about everything
and for the very first time in my life
i could tell he wasn't lying
he would be there
to love me and help me
help myself
and love him too.
493 · Apr 2015
Untitled
The crisp, cold morning air.
The mighty sun peeking over the newly budding trees.
Dew evaporating into the morning sky.
All the birds singing their own lovely song.
Earthworms creeping across wet sidewalks.
Flowers blooming to catch the sun rays from above
Listening to the steady flow of a creek
Soaking up all the natural beauty around me.
485 · Apr 2015
Fantasy
waking up was hard this morning.
hearing my alarm instead of the ringtone,
that I set for you.
it was rough getting out of bed,
when I didn't have you to get up to.
the loneliness is almost too much to handle,
but I do it, for you, for us.
I don't want to think of you,
giving another what you give to me.
so I endure the depression, loneliness
all for the fantasy of us.
475 · Mar 2015
I'm Drowning In You
You consume my entire life
Your smile is that of the sun,
It brightens my day, and makes me feel warm.
Your eyes are the cool lake that I want to dive into.
Your embrace makes me feel protected and safe.
Yet, your cold words leave me up all night.
Your cold shoulder freezes me to my core.
You tear me down until I'm reduced to ruble, just to build me back up again.
You are the vast ocean, and I, a tiny ship.
And I'm drowning in you.
454 · Mar 2015
Untitled
I still go to our favorite spot
The one where you kissed me for the first time,
Where you told me you loved me for the first time,
Where you promised me the world, forever.
That one spot, where you hurt me for the first time.
Where our passion fueled conversations turned dark
Where you finally gathered the nerve to tell me to my face
I don't love you anymore.*
Yeah, I still go to our favorite spot,
Even if it's not you I bring with me anymore.
403 · Apr 2015
Thoughts from the Deep
you came by last night.
you came to get your things.
to tell me it was over.
I haven't eaten in two days.
I cant stop shaking, crying.
this mental deterioration,
is just too much to handle.
I sat with you for two hours.
trying, begging, pleading
for you to stay with me.
but things aren't that simple,
are they?
I can't sleep. I cant function.
my first love, the one that promised forever.
has left me for a *****, a ****.
she would never do the things,
that I did, she would never endure
the pain that I did. all for you.
you caused me depression,
you say you still care,
but why aren't you acting like it?
everything could be better,
if you just wanted to talk to me.
really bad night.
387 · Jan 2017
war
war
I'm in a war
between making myself happy
or taking care of everyone around me
i provide good emotions and feelings to those who are sorrowful, an ear to anybody that needs to voice their thoughts, and body to anyone who needs companionship.
although i often find myself melancholy, lonesome  and wondering if i will ever have someone that i could call upon in my times of despair to comfort me.
just another warm up
377 · Mar 2015
The Sun
The sun is out again.
I can feel her warm rays,
Caressing my body.
She feels so nice,
After a deep frozen winter.
She thaws out the land around me.
I can hear the water flowing.
I can see the wildlife around me.
And I know that warm weather,
And perfect days,
Are on their way to me.
377 · Mar 2016
Not the Same
It's not the same
As it once was
I was sad, you went out
All night
No call, no reply
The nights that I spent
Crying, depressed
With a melancholy outlook for life.
Now I enjoy myself, I have friends
While you are waiting on me
But the jokes on you,
you'll be waiting forever.
372 · Apr 2015
A New Day
Today, is the day.
The day that I tell you
How I really feel.
Used to love you so,
But it might be time
To let you go
For you see,
We have different ambitions
And we may be soul mates,
But alas, we have come together
At the wrong time.
356 · Aug 2015
Untitled
when i think of you,
all of my emotions go into a blender,
inside my mind, and it's on the highest level.
when im with you, im at a loss for words, nervous and weak bodied.
being with you makes me feel like myself. and even when everything around me is falling apart, all i need is your embrace and i'll be okay.
354 · Mar 2015
It's Four AM
And I'm thinking about you,
About leaving you.
It might be serious this time.
You said you'd be here for me,
When I needed you, any time
Any day, just a call away.
But I've tried to call,
And I've texted, but no reply.
It's four a.m.
And I'm thinking about you.
330 · Mar 2015
Her
Her
Deep in the waters of the beautiful coral reefs are where you'll find her.
She doesn't like to be seen
But when the tides are right,
She will reveal herself to you.
*She is the most enchanting mermaid of the salty sea
306 · Mar 2016
Untitled
where the shore and the skyline meet
out into the distant horizon
is where i finally feel complete
the feeling of wholeness washes over me
as the waves greet my body
descending into an unknown deep
so that i may stay complete.
297 · Mar 2015
Untitled
Stop infecting me
With your false feelings
Of love and hope for us
I am no longer under
Your wretched control
I am a wildflower,
And you are the fire
That thought it could destroy me
289 · Mar 2015
I've been thinking
You told me many times,
"You'll find someone better."
I want you to see into my mind, darling.
You are my sun, my moon, the first thought of the morning and the last one at night.
Yet I often find myself thinking, why do I allow myself to please someone,
*when they cannot give me the time of day.
287 · Aug 2015
Untitled
you have destroyed me,
in every way possible.
but i cannot leave you alone.
i am nothing but a small child,
and you my security blanket,
that i never want to be separated from.
280 · Mar 2015
Senses
Seeing.
Complete darkness in the wilderness
Mushrooms coming up on the stumps
Looking up into the beautifully clear night sky
Seeing every constellation illuminated by the moon.
Hearing.
The twigs I break as I swiftly step to the opening
The insects blaring their night time melody
I sense something beyond my sight.
Hear the mighty beast as it stalks in the shade of night.
Feeling.
Soft, damp earth under my bare feet
Running my hands along the craggy old trees
Stepping over rocks to avoid being slowed
A swift run in the woods.
Tasting*
Sweat drips down with blood into my mouth
I hate that rusty flavor.
But alas, I have fallen, and the beast is upon me
Consuming me into the everlasting darkness
That I tried so hard to escape.
266 · Mar 2015
A Haunting
The sun rays penetrated my room and woke me this morning.
I turned over you give you a kiss,
But you weren't in bed with me.
I got up and got in the shower.
I walked into my room, expecting you to be waiting for me,
Like you always did.
But you weren't.
Everything I do now, is just a bittersweet memory.
I can't enjoy my favorite things in life anymore.
*Because all I think about is you.
254 · Apr 2015
Spring Sadness
New life and new beauty,
Meet with depression and anxiety.
The sun's rays feel warm against my skin,
Yet I remain in a melancholy state of mind.
It is because of you,
The one that drives me absolutely insane,
The one that deceives and hurts me,
And feels no remorse for doing so.
Yet, you are also the one
That pulls me in closer on the bed,
That holds my hand on long car trips,
That looks into my eyes, with a fooling look,
And whispers, "I love you so much."
You destroy me and re build me.
Giving me Spring Sadness.
243 · Jul 2015
Untitled
how foolish could I be?
to think, that he loved only me.
214 · Apr 2015
Untitled
the sun is shining
the air is finally warm
no more depression

— The End —