Why am I here?
Oh God I shouldn't be here
Oh god I should disappear
Oh God why did I reapper
Oh god don't let me get close
Oh **** I won't get near
Oh God this is weird
Oh God let me leave
Oh God this place isn't for me.
Oh **** no one is talking to me.
It's because I'm crazy
And that they don't like me.
What is going on with me?

I think I'll live 'til I'm 50
If I'm lucky
Strivin'
Survivin'
Man, this life is sucky.
Think I'll live 'til I'm 50
Getting thrifty
Nifty,
Tryin' to get out swiftly
Failed to execute
The time absolute
To be the better one
When I left you-
When I left home
And now I'm grown
With an identity unknown.
Think I'll live 'til I'm 50
Reminiscin' the times when
We would get shwifty,
And now I'm just waiting
For some to lift me
**** me
Whip me-
Maybe that person needs to be me.
Due to the nicotine
And LSD
And DMT
And other things
Ruining my psychology
I'm lost,
Running around like a boy
Only leading to a criss cross
And zig zags,
I miss the life
And prospects I once had.
If I'm lucky,
I'll live 'til I'm at most 50.

Hold me so close
That we feel the static
Between us.
Love me so hard
That the weight could **** me.

They say
Depression and obsession
Don't mix well.
I'll see that day.
In a way,
We scar up our hearts
Like cutting veins
And talking insane.
An insanity calamity
Of the mind.
But I sighed,
And said
"I'm fine"
Instead.
"Today was a great day"
But I'll soon be dead -
I swear -
With poison in my head.

I love you like the
Moon loves the stars
Like the street loves
The cars.
But what can I say?
Before it's too late,
It might already might be-

Who am I.
Someone
Who attempted suicide
Maybe took one too many psychedelic drugs.
My brain is ****** up now
I lost my smarts.
I once was intelligent.
Now I'm nothing.
A depressed,
Obsessed mess -
Straying from the path
I originally had.

I once was straight edge,
And took my life seriously
With a goal,
With a proactive mind.
Now I try
To be fine.
Turmoil comes in many ways
But it's different when among the days
You think about how you
Could die.

Maybe I still want to.
Who am I.

I forgot.

I don't even know how to write poetry anymore.

Goodbye.

Lies come and
cover your eyes
from the truth
because that's
what they're meant
to do.