I never thought
you would be able
again

Too many people would love you
too many times
before I got to see it again

I hope you're okay
you love me
you do love me so sweet
and I hope you're happy all day.

i think it's normal
to find yourself ending up
getting lost all too often,
sometimes,
you just can't help it,
life is crazy
and there's no way to
ever have full control over it,

you just have to learn
how to keep moving forward
even when you are completely
surrounded by darkness,
find the one thing that
you can rely on,
the one thing that will be
the light in the darkness
to lead you back to safety

I have fallen into dark holes,
Sometimes about six feet underground,
But somehow you were close ..
I hear your whispers through every bottle my lips touched. Your words were engraved into my heart. A motivational promise , "move forward"I breathe and I climb up and break through.Just when I am about to heal ,I lose sight of you.
Time is not ticking..
I'm not ready...
Please tick soon...

Here I fall again into an ocean abyss
I float into a darkness where I dream.
Every single time I dreamt of what it felt like to kiss your lips again ,I can feel it in my veins.
Every single fiber of your touch.
It's my favorite remembrance circulating around my veins , injecting into my blood.
A motivational promise ,"  till next time we are both strong."I swim to shore ,
but time isn't ticking yet.
Please tick soon..

Here I go falling again into a buried casket.
Where I lay dead with a dormant heart and restless soul and heavy mind.
Maggots crawling around my body , frozen I laid.
My restless mind began to ponder on the fire you brought into my heart. Dozen of wildfires you caused , I have inhale smoke from you that slowly awoke me . I see dust in my eyes. I was impaired .. paralyzed .
Time isn't ticking yet again.

As the nights went , I was walking zombie waiting to be saved , in hands of everyone else but never you. I laid in this casket remembering tasting you at least once . It felt like a home I never had , a home I wished I had. A placement that my heart yearn. Your dark eyes and impeccable smile. My delicate heart full of maggots began to beat and shake . Thought of you makes me feel alive. I screamed every single moonlight hoping soon you will hear me..  Under a blue moon , my ***** eyes got blinded by a light. I heard the bells chime and the church clock tick.

"Tick tick tick tick"
My heart felt you closer,
"Tick tick tick tick"
No more falling or being buried,
"Tick tick tick tick"
My soul ignited , you were close to me,
"Tick tick tick tick"
I blindly looked at you and you looked at me.
I knew your promise was true with every impatient kisses  , you are here in the pouring rain where time ticks. Where the world spins.Hard to believe,
That you always were my muse.
My distance far lover
hidden in the cracks of my heart ,
rebuilding me.
"Tick tick tick tick "
And I love you....

i loved how nothing ever bothered you
i loved that nothing ever mattered
until i realized that meant me too
then all my dreams were shattered

i loved how you talked so loud
i loved how you spoke the truth
until you used me for your own needs
then you stole away my youth

i loved that you smiled sweetly
i loved that you sang my name
until everything i had was gone
then i noticed your little game

Dear you,
I might not know you yet either,
but this letter will be different.

You will be different

I say that because it is true.
Not because he was wrong, or bad,
but he wasn't you.

You are holy and set apart.
As am I.
You were made for me,
and I for you.
And we will get it right at last,
Oh sweet promise of the Lord.
You have been worth waiting for.

I may not have waited as long as you.
I may have been sloppier with my life.
I may disagree with you and be stubborn
and try to take the lead.
But you will know me
And choose me anyways.

And that is why I will love you,
with a true love that reflects
the love of God.

And for all of that,
and for all that I remain unaware of,
I am waiting.

But I had to write you to say,
I'm not looking.
I am not striving.
I'm no longer searching,
and trying to force things to happen.

I am resting.
And serving,
And seeking...
the face of God

Because you are only to love me as He already loves me.
So, I'm going to the source.
And I'll see you some day soon.
I know you're waiting too.
I know you'll know what to do.